How many episodes have been based on local festivities now? There
was the one with the ram. There was the one with Niamh's wedding. Both
of them. There was the one with the church fete. OK, that doesn't come
until Series 6, but still. The concept is getting bit tired, if you ask
me. This episode was neither particularly brilliant, nor particularly tedious.
The only important plot to keep in mind for later is Siobhan and Brendan's
night together, and how it came to be. There weren't even any really compelling
P&A moments, even though they had several scenes together, some of
which involved only the two of them. But hey, it's classic Ballykissangel,
and rather enjoyable in the end.
There was a lot of continuity between this episode and the previous one, Episode 2.5 "Someone to Watch Over Me"; in fact, if you haven't seen that one, there are a few things in this one that wouldn't make sense, like who those Allentown kids are, why Father Mac is on sabbatical, and, more importantly, what bit Assumpta. She was a real bitch and a half for no apparent reason.
This is another mold-breaking episode (the mold having been cast for Series 1), in that there aren't simply 3 or 4 loosely strung-together plots. Instead, the engine for this episode is the local festival, which I don't think was ever given a name beyond the "Ballykissangel Festival". Real catchy, that. Next, they could try, "Taste of Ballykissangel". No, on second thought, maybe not. Remember what the prawns did to Peggy?
The festival features three attractions for our purposes: the beauty contest, the Irish dancing, and the musical number. The beauty contest itself spawns two of the actual plot lines, while the dancing and the music serve as background to the story of Con O'Neill. Actually quite an intricate set-up, if you ask me. Then, parallel to the festival, there is the the plot with Eamonn and his pigs, or, as I like to think of it, the male nipple of the episode (it's there, but what's the point?).
1. The Local Festival
a. The Lily of Ballykissangel
i. Naomi
aka Fionnuala
ii. Siobhan
and Brendan
iii. Assumpta
and Peter
b. Con O'Neill aka Yitzhak Perlman
2. Swine Flu
Brendan: I wonder what his angle is this time.Therefore, either Brian is, in fact, running a slave market, or else the beauty contestants are not beautiful young virgins. Since a point is made that they must be under 24, leaves us with either: a) they are not beautiful, or b) they are not virgins. You be the judge.
Padraig: White slave driving?
Brendan: You need beautiful young virgins for that.
This was yet another in the long line of Quigley Enterprises attempts to "boost business" in town. I wonder whether any of these tourist draws actually pan out for Brian, not to mention Assumpta, Kathleen, the food market up the street, the off-track betting parlor on the intersection, etc. Brian never really gets his due, just a lot of lip from Siobhan (the same thing happened in Episode 1.6 "Missing You Already" with the ram). At least this time Assumpta was behind him. ("I run a business, Siobhan, I can't afford to knock anything that might help me.")
In Brian's defense, this was actually a very well-planned and -executed event. He got sponsors, he got volunteers, he got participants, and all in all, everyone was well entertained. Even Siobhan. And in the end, the contest was really on the up-and-up. It'd really have made more sense as a scam if Brian had been on the panel of judges (as Niamh at first assumed), but Brian actually remained clean. If anyone were to have taken a fall, it would have been Eamonn, since without his complicity, Naomi could never have entered the contest. It was a nice, if predictable, ending to have a local girl beat Naomi out fair and square, and even more so if one could remember that the winner was the bespectacled bakery girl who greeted Peter politely outside of Hendley's right after Naomi had given him the cold shoulder.
What I'm wondering is, how did Brian, and Brian alone, know the truth about Eamonn's niece, and why didn't anyone else cotton on to the switcheroo? Siobhan is an out-of-towner, originally, so I can see how she didn't know that Eamonn's real niece was a nun, but Kathleen obviously knew the story of the family pretty well; Michael must have, too (but then he was absent from this episode), as well as Father Mac, for God's sake! I mean, a local girl who takes the veil, that's gotta be a little bit of trivia that Father Mac, as parish curate, would have at the tip of his tongue. (But then he was conveniently "on sabbatical", trying to live down his own embarrassment.)
I thought the writer (Jo O'Keefe, if you keep track of that sort of thing, and is that a man or a woman? not that it matters) did a very neat trick with stereotypes in this story. Naomi had her own stereotype of the villagers as starry-eyed bumpkins, simpletons who were easily taken advantage of, which, as we know, is about as far from the truth as Ireland is from the moon. At the same time, Naomi lived right up to the stereotype of the snooty society girl who thinks she is above the law, has a right to everything on a silver platter, and doesn't need to lift a finger to have everyone grovelling at her feet.
And speaking of feet, we got two interesting metaphors regarding Naomi's legs: Niamh's "The last time I saw legs like that they were hanging from a nest," (which I'm a bit confused about myself: does she mean that Naomi's legs are skinny, like a bird's? Because I thought they were quite nice, actually), and Siobhan's "legs up to her armpits," which I can only assume results from putting oneself in a very uncomfortable position. (No, please, I understand that Siobhan means that Naomi's legs are very long. Just trying to put a different spin on it.)
In the end, though, Naomi did let a bit of humanity show. Couldn't you just see the ice around her heart cracking as she watched Eamonn slathering affection all over his pigs? (Um, guess I could have come up with a better metaphor than that...) *Awww, wook at dat sweet owd man wid dose cute wittle piggies! sniff sniff... It weminds me of how my Mummykins used to sing to me at night... Before that awful accident with the vat of sheep dip... I must avenge her death, I must! The only way to do it is by achieving world hegemony, and the first step is to win this damned beauty contest!*
I'm glad Siobhan and Brendan got together in this episode, if only because I was beginning to "wonder" about both of them. I mean, this is, what, the twelfth episode, and neither of them has had even a hint of a romantic encounter. Even Father Mac was getting felt up in the sauna (Episode 2.5), and Brendan's a good deal more attractive than Father Mac. Could be a dead heat between the priest and Siobhan, though. (Kidding, only kidding!)
Having said that, I am still wondering about both Siobhan and Brendan's respective leanings. Her response to their "encounter": You're a pal, punch on the arm, gotta go rustle me up some sheep. His response: Oh my god, a girl likes me, ew ew ew, gotta hide out in the company of manly men...like, um, the priest. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but *normally* in a situation like this, it'd be the woman who was freaked out and going to confide in her girlfriends, and the man who'd be treating it all like just another day at the office, if not downright bragging about it. Somehow, I think Brendan'd be much more comfortable with, say, Michael (about whom I also have serious doubts, despite some mention now or again of a wife).
No, seriously, I could see Brendan falling for a youthful, canny, free spirit, someone who would breathe a little fresh air into his stodgy tweed-and-Guiness existence. Someone like Orla, although not necessarily her in particular; Padraig would just get jealous. And Siobhan with, say, a Sean Dillon, someone who's been out in the world a bit, someone with a bit more facial hair. I know that the wishful thinkers/hopeless romantics out there see a future together for Brendan and Siobhan, but I. Just. Don't.
Ok, maybe a little.
It was a telling view of Brian's character through Siobhan's (and most of the town's) eyes that she misinterpreted the flowers as having come from Brendan rather than from Brian. Brian can be hard (and maybe a little dishonest) when it comes to business, it's true, but he is also more correct when it comes to interpersonal relations and politics than I think anyone gives him credit for.
Their next scene together, likewise in Fitzgerald's, revolves around Eamonn's pseudo-niece, Naomi, who is flirting with everything in trousers, including, especially, the priest (well, he is the most attractive one). Peter, true to type, sits there and takes the whipping from the batting eyelashes. Far be it from him to be impolite. Is this perhaps how Jenny got her "false" impression of his feelings for her? Assumpta, who has been watching Peter closely, while trying to avoid being seen doing so, opens up with a full volley at Naomi when she makes her play for Peter. Now you can't tell me that Peter didn't know that the cat fight was over him. However, a short while later, Peter walks right up to Naomi outside of Hendley's and asks for it again. As Assumpta looks on, Naomi digs down deep and throws her heavy ammunition at him, thrusting out her chest. Her parting shot at Peter, "Good-bye," is delivered more like a "Hey sailor, why don't you come up and see me sometime." And Peter's contortions as he turns to watch her walk up the street remind me of nothing more than one of those male Looney Toons characters watching a busty female walk past. The only thing missing is Peter licking his lips, as he is wont to do when he is thinking about sex. (Yes, he does! Go back and look at your tapes!)
And then, Peter has the gall to saunter over to Assumpta and nonchalantly ask, "Busy?" Like he was completely unaware that Assumpta was spitting mad. I guess that's Peter's tactic: Ignore it and it will go away. Be oblivious to Naomi's come-ons and she'll give up. Act like Assumpta never bit your head off, and she'll follow suit. Only Assumpta, being neither a mind-reader nor a man, thinks that Peter is just being an unfeeling oaf, until he spells it out for her: "I'm trying, Assumpta." Oh, so *that's* what an apology sounds like.
What finally enables them to get past this little tiff is their shared lust to see Brian's blood spilled all over the floor of Fitzgerald's, and doesn't that just warm your heart? It does mine. There's nothing like a little good old-fashioned hostility towards others to bring two people closer together.
And for the rest of the episode, they're just two bosom buddies, trying to straighten out their best friends' love lives. Never mind that Brendan and Siobhan might not want to be straightened out. (Hey, that plays right into my innuendos about their sexual preferences from before! Unintentional, I assure you.) But now comes the deeper meaning. Try re-playing the conversation they have about Brendan and Siobhan, but this time, assume it's Brendan and Siobhan talking about Peter and Assumpta:
Siobhan: What happened between Peter and Assumpta is their business.Pretty cool, huh? Maybe Peter and Assumpta are attempting to maneuver Brendan and Siobhan into acting as some sort of proxies for themselves. Totally subconsciously, of course. Just a little food for thought.
Brendan: Yeah but we can't just stand by and watch them fall out over this.
Siobhan: Well, things might work out between them.
Brendan: No. These kind of complications always end up ruining friendships.
Siobhan: It happens. Sometimes it can't be helped.
Brendan: I hate to see people I care about get hurt.
Other than that, this was the pretty standard story of a troubled youth who only needed a kind mentor and a bit of responsibility to turn him off the path that would have led him to follow in his father's footsteps. The U.S. federal penal system might sit up and take note. Instead of Three Strikes, you could have Adopt-A-Con.
Eamonn: How does the Church view pigs?Strangely enough, this seems to be true. I was skeptical, so I Asked A Franciscan, and they said...
Peter: Well to be honest I'm not aware it has any particular standpoint.
"1. They have some kind of soul in the sense that death is the moment that their life source leaves them (as with humans). Such a soul is qualitatively different from a human soul. An animal does not need redemption because an non-human animal cannot sin.Doesn't say anything about prayers, so Peter seems to be OK with his suggestion that he come over and say a prayer for Eamonn's pigs. It also doesn't say anything about blessings, and as you may know, there are regular services held in many localities specifically for the blessing of animals (be they livestock or pets, it doesn't make any difference), so I'm surprised Peter didn't suggest that himself. Now there'd be another interesting episode: the Blessing of the Animals. Can't you just see Eamonn driving his pigs and sheep into town, various geese and ducks flapping about, little lap dogs growling at bushy cats from their owner's arms, and Assumpta disdainfully refusing to subject Fionn to any such nonsense. I'm sure Father Sheahan would have had a field day with that one.2. Click http://www.americancatholic.org/Messenger/Jul2003/Feature2.asp for a recent article on this subject.
3. A dog [pig, etc.] should be buried reverently, but a funeral service (readings, songs, eulogies) is not appropriate.
Peace and every blessing,
Father Pat"
Another line in this story that bothered me enough to follow up on it:
Siobhan: I don't suppose there's a patron saint of swine?I don't know who does the background research for these episodes, but they messed up on the Sts. John before (see my Review of Episode 1.3Live In My Heart and Pay No Rent), and now another error regarding patron saints. There is a patron saint of swine: St. Anthony. The connection is a little convoluted, but you can read it here.
Peter: No, but, all nominations will be gratefully received.