Pathetic Rather Than Tragic
by loquita
I wanted to write a little explanation/ warning/
introduction to my new story ...
I got this idea after recently seeing Amongst Friends
again- I think out of sadness I stopped watching the first time because
this time I caught things I don't even remember seeing before and above
all, it really hit me just how insane Leo is. I mean I understand that
he's grieving and people do some crazy things when they are that low,
but to get that pissed at Niamh, to stalk Peter, and all the rest- it
was really intense. I got to
thinking how Assumpta never saw his capacity for that kind of anger and
violence
(I think she tells Niamh something like everything with Leo is not much
of
a bang but plenty of whimper). I thought how it might be interesting if
he
went that mad and possessive a little earlier like when she dumped him.
(I
don't know why I get my ideas from Leo, that's sort of disturbing to me
since
I don't like the character and ugh! that unibrow!) Anyhow...
First and foremost, a warning that this is an angry and
violent man in this story. I do not want to cause pain to anyone who
may have a terrible experience in their past. If you are particularly
sensitive, please do not read. I would feel awful if I offended or hurt
anyone as that is certainly not my intension.
Second, I am however, writing this for entertainment
purposes and graphic details are not going to serve that purpose so I
suggested a lot
without trying to really be heavy handed about it. On the other hand,
this
is a serious subject and I don't mean to make light of it by being too
light
handed either, but Assumpta is a tough and strong character and I've no
doubt
she can handle things. I felt that I was walking a tightrope with this
story
and it was hard. I hope that I got the balance right. I am certainly
interested
to hear thoughts and feelings on if it was too light or too dark and
how
it could be better.
All that being said, I'm not trying to scare anyone off
really, it should hopefully be fun on the whole.
Leo hid in the shadows waiting for his chance and then she descended
the ladder into the cellar during the food fair. An old friend from
college had actually supplied the variety of drugs he needed for his
plan to work. Unknowingly supplied, of course, now that he was a
successful doctor a quick casual visit to his office was all it took.
All those years ago Shakespeare wrote about it in Romeo and Juliet. He
remembered how Assumpta used to read that to him when they lay in bed
together late at night. Sweet revenge, Leo thought, to
use that knowledge now.
Assumpta moved through the darkness like a cat and worked at the fuse
box while the conversations above in the pub returned to normal levels.
He slipped from his hiding place behind the boxes and barrels then
covered her mouth with a rag soaked in chloroform. When she collapsed
to the ground he injected her with the second drug, the one made so
famous by Shakespeare's love story that put Juliet into a stasis state
appearing to be dead with no heartbeat, only to awake 2 days later once
the drug wore off. Assumpta once told him she thought the love story
was more pathetic rather than tragic.
"Goodnight, goodnight parting is such sweet sorrow that I shall say
good night till it be morrow," he quoted as Assumpta's heartbeat and
breath slowed to undetectable levels, within a whisper of death. Leo
threw the wrench at the fuse box to short it out and set the scene as
an accident. Then returned to his hiding place to watch the modern
pathetic drama unfold.
**Six weeks later in Chicago**
It had been amazingly simple to steal a body from a morgue. Kind of
made Leo worry about the state of Ireland's security on whole. Then he
only had to convince the flight attendants that his wife was drunk and
fly first class direct to the States. For weeks they traveled across
the country and he continued to keep her unconscious with a cocktail of
various things stolen from the good doctor. Now, Leo watched her sleep
on the queen size bed in the suite in Chicago's Gold Coast. As he drank
champagne while looking out across the lights of the skyscrapers and
the boats on Lake Michigan, he toasted across the countries and oceans,
"Here's to the love of your life Father Clifford." Leo sipped and
watched the glittering city landscape. He laughed, "She will always be
mine you stupid bastard."
"Where?" Assumpta said, she sounded groggy and distant even to herself.
Leo's voice woke her and she felt she was in a strange place, the
feeling
was stronger than her actual ability to see anything around her.
"It's alright." Leo rushed over to reassure her, the new phase of his
plan beginning. "We're on holiday, don't you remember? A romantic trip
to rekindle things between us... It was your idea, Assumpta."
Assumpta tried to think back, everything was hazy and then one clear
memory floated out of the mess, the last thing she knew for sure was
real, Peter grinning like fool at her in the pub and sayin,g "I love
you." Assumpta watched who she assumed to be Leo cross the room now and
sit on the bed next to her. His face was blurring between two and three
every time she blinked.
"It is a new beginning for us." Leo leaned in and kissed her cheek,
"We're going to have a brilliant time traveling together and then
settle into a new
life just the two of us."
It all didn't make sense to her. She knew Peter loved her. Being here
with Leo just didn't make sense. And that's when the panic set in and
fueled the adrenaline. For the first time in weeks she was able to
think a little, "Leo, what have you done?"
"I've just said, we'll start-"
"No," she cut him off, "I want to go home."
His voice turned dark and angry, "No you don't." He put his hands on
her shoulders and pinned her down. She fought him, knowing she had to
get up off
the bed but he growled, "You're my wife. You belong to me."
"You're crazy," she slurred. She tried again to push against him but he
was stronger than her and she was weak with drugs. Leo held her hands
above
her head. She pleaded with him, "Leo, please let go of me."
"You're my wife and you'll perform your wifely duty for your husband."
Bile rose in her throat as anger and fear churned in her stomach. "No,
don't do this." She struggled to fight him off again.
"I like it most when your temper's up and you fight me and squirm,
Assumpta, it just excites me even more."
She walked in the green hills with Finn on a beautiful clear summer
afternoon and could see the valley below in full bloom, a shimmering
lake, and a few sheep in the distance. Peter was with her, at her side
holding her hand.
Love's heralds should be thoughts, which ten times faster glides than
the sun's beams, driving back shadows over low'ring hills.
Peter smiled at her, "It will be alright. I am right here."
Assumpta shook her head, "But I'm afraid." He took her other hand and
faced her with eyes full of love and understanding. "You're never
scared of anything. You can do anything, Assumpta, I believe in you."
She tried to be strong but
couldn't help her tears, "You have to find me. Please, Peter, find me."
And
the sun began setting and the sky filled with thousands of shades of
reds
and oranges and purples.
Peter sat up in bed, sweat pouring down his neck and back, gasping for
air. He always dreamed of her but this dream was by far the most vivid
yet. He could actually feel her hand in his as they walked along the
hill and her voice, it was almost as if... But then again, even her
ghost would never have
admitted to being afraid. No, her ghost would be just as proud and
stubborn as she was in life.
Six weeks had passed since the accident in the cellar of Fitzgerald's
and he was just now beginning to think of her without feeling totally
engulfed with grief. Part of him never wanted it to diminish at all
because in some strange way, the pain was all he had left of her. In
the darkness he looked around the little room that was his bedroom as a
child. It was empty now except
a few boxes and his rucksack. The house he and his brothers grew up in
was
now cleared out and packed up. The closing of the sale with a young
couple
and their two small children would happen tomorrow.
Peter had been officially released two weeks ago but hadn't been to
mass at all since she died. He just couldn't see the point. In reality,
he had no plan for what to do with his life now but the money from his
parents would last a while and Peter planned to live on it while he
sorted things out.
Then, in the last week or two, he felt an ever increasing pull to
return to Ballykissangel. Peter supposed part of it was the guilt over
the way he left, not telling any of his friends a proper goodbye. After
all they had done to try to help him cope he'd returned the favor by
vanishing on them and not even saying thanks. But that pull was more
than guilt, it was even more than his friends, it was her. He could
feel her wanting him to go back to Ballyk and it made him shiver.
He got up out of bed and wandered down to the kitchen and made tea, all
in darkness. Peter sat at the table sipping it. If he went to her
grave,
he considered, maybe saying goodbye to her there would release him.
Maybe
then she'd let him go, stop haunting him, maybe then he could sleep.
In Ballyk at that moment, Niamh crept through the newly renovated
second floor of the pub. Her father had done a wonderful job and she
and Ambrose were thrilled with the result. But her father had left one
room alone. He never said a word to Niamh about it and she never
brought it up, it was just understood. Assumpta's room remained the way
it was. Niamh had packed up some
of the things- the clothes and shoes were now in boxes in the attic,
books
and papers were no longer scattered about. But the walls weren't
repainted, the furniture never moved or changed, it was still
unmistakably Assumpta's.
In the darkness, Niamh tiptoed into Assumpta's bedroom now. She'd been
laying next to Ambrose for five hours wide awake and finally gave up.
These last weeks it seemed the only time she slept was when she came
here. Niamh crawled under the covers and curled into a tight ball in
the middle of the bed. The tears came silent and hot until she was
empty and exhausted. Then she finally slept.
**Two days later in Ballykissangel**
Orla entered the pub in the morning just as Niamh was coming out of the
kitchen. She immediately noticed that look about Niamh again, back to
not
getting much sleep. It seemed to go in cycles, she'd be better for a
few
days or a week and then back down again and looking a bit gray and
saggy
from several nights in a row of no sleep. Orla then knew what the day
would
bring but it would come up in the oddest of times, a pipe would burst
or
an old one-hit wonder on the radio and suddenly Niamh would say to her,
"Did
I tell you about the time Assumpta..."
Orla patiently listened to each and every story, some were boring or
silly or didn't seem very important. But she could see grieving was
taking a toll on her new friend and sensed her need to keep Assumpta's
memory alive. There was only one part that Niamh, indeed all the
village, never talked about and
Orla was getting increasing interested in the mystery of one Father
Clifford. There was something clearly tied together in his departure
from Ballyk and the accident that took Assumpta's life. But Orla
couldn't figure out why everyone
was so protective of whatever that secret was. Especially Niamh who
seemed
willing to discuss every inconsequential detail of Assumpta. So she
listened
and waited.
Niamh was upstairs putting Kieran down for a nap and Orla was wiping
down the bar when a tall blond man walked into the empty pub. He was
wearing jeans and a pressed white shirt and carrying a rucksack over
one shoulder, his hands
stuffed into his pockets.
"Can I get you something?" Orla smiled at the stranger and watched as
his face turn confused as he looked her over.
"Ah, I was-" He began but was cut off by Niamh coming back down the
stairs.
"Peter!" she dashed forward and threw her arms around him, "It's so
good to see you. You didn't tell us you were coming."
"No. Kind of a spur of the moment thing." He drew back and looked at
her, she looked terrible. "How are you?"
Her eyes wandered off into the distance. "Well you know, fine I
suppose." Then her brow wrinkled up and she studied him, "And you?"
Orla noticed he didn't respond but steered the conversation in a
different direction. Peter asked Niamh, "Why don't you introduce me to
the new face, I haven't been gone all that long and already everything
is different around here." He plastered a smile across his face and
looked toward Orla. She stuck out her hand, "Orla O'Connell."
"Peter Clifford." He shook her hand and then turned back to Niamh,
missing Orla's look of shock mixed with intense interest.
Peter started to ask Niamh something but Orla interrupted and seized
her opportunity, "You Father Clifford then? The curate at St. Joseph's
before my brother?"
Peter kept his face and voice neutral, "It's not Father anymore… but
yes. And you're the new curate's sister?" he asked, then to Niamh,
"There was a
time when the clergy were not very welcome under this roof, probably
not their
family either." There was a little teasing in there but also a hint of
sad
nostalgia.
"That dramatically changed, wouldn't you say?" Niamh's left eyebrow
rose and she smirked slightly at him. "And you're just as welcome now."
"Good, because I need a place to stay."
"Dad converted the upstairs to a proper home for Ambrose, Kieran and
me. But we have a guestroom for our friends." Niamh patted his arm,
"You're welcome to stay with us for as long as you'd like. You remember
what I told you before about being amongst your friends." She walked
around behind the bar and stood at the taps, "Usual?"
"Thanks," he said taking a seat.
Orla continued to observe with curiosity all through lunch and early
afternoon. Brendan and Siobhan came into the bar and also had hugs for
Peter. They introduced him to Aisling, whom Peter immediately picked up
and held for the next 45 minutes, feeding her a bottle and then rocking
her to sleep. This didn't seem
to surprise anyone in the bar that he was such a natural with a baby.
Michael
Ryan also stopped in briefly and when he asked Peter how he was,
Michael
seemed to study him more as a doctor to patient than a friend to a
friend.
Certainly the fact that he was no longer a priest but that no one
seemed
shocked by the news confirmed Orla's suspicions that there was a
mystery everyone
else was in on but her.
In the kitchen as Niamh and Orla were chopping vegetables for the stew,
Orla decided to drag it out of her friend if necessary, "So what's the
story
on the former-Father Clifford?"
"There's no story." Niamh hacked at a carrot a lot harder now.
"Uh, huh," Orla almost laughed, "Right. He was once a priest and isn't
anymore but not a single person has asked him why. There's definitely a
story."
Niamh sighed, Orla would probably hear it from somewhere eventually, it
was better her than someone like Kathleen. "Peter had feelings for
Assumpta. But nothing ever happened that was improper," Niamh quickly
added.
"Right sure." Orla rolled her eyes.
"Peter isn't like that and they only were friends." Niamh shook her
head. "It wasn't until after the accident, when he fell apart that any
of us realized just how much he loved her. He- he was devastated, it
was awful." Niamh put the knife down and looked off for a moment. Then
she continued, "I've told you before how Assumpta hated the church and
she, well, she would have torn your brother limb from limb in ten
seconds for one," a trace of a smile on her lips as Niamh pictured it.
"But Peter could always match her. They were good friends and then
after she...Peter admitted that they had only just talked
about their feelings, that he was about to leave the church so they
could
be together. No one ever knew she shared those feelings, even me,
Assumpta never said."
"Wow." Orla was astonished, "It's tragic. Like Romeo and Juliet or
something, two star crossed lovers never able to be together. Well
actually," her voice dry with irony now, "in this version there'd be no
Romeo, it was Friar Lawrence and Juliet."
When Niamh came out to deliver the sandwiches to hungry customers, she
put one down in front of Peter as well. He shook his head, "I'm not
hungry."
"You need to eat."
He was staring off at the far wall almost dream-like, "Where is she
now?"
"Don't you think your former vocation makes you a little more skilled
at answering that question than me?"
"That's actually not what I was referring too," since she's currently
living in my head he added in his mind, then aloud, "I mean, where did
you bury her.
I want to go to her."
Niamh seemed afraid, avoiding his eyes and said, "I don't know. Leo was
spotted at the hospital and then her body was gone. They said maybe
they
released it to him but lost the paperwork. I tried to contact him and
ask
about the arrangements but I could never get a hold of him. Dad even
tried
to find a posting of her funeral in the papers, both Dublin and London,
and
never found anything. We all thought it strange but..."
Peter reflected for a moment, then asked, "Did you try the paper he
worked for, what was it?" But he was so tired it was as if his brain
simply wouldn't work.
She sensed he was overtaxing himself, "Peter, you need some rest. We'll
talk about it later."
"You don't understand Niamh, I need-"
She cut him off like a mother to her child. "Don't tell ME I don't
understand, Peter Clifford, I loved her for a lot longer than you did.
I'm telling you right now you need some sleep before you do yourself in
and then we'll talk about all this later." Then Niamh took Peter up to
the guestroom, she hesitated at the door and then decided not to tell
him it was Assumpta's old room. Maybe
it would be too much for him, she supposed and said to him, "Just have
a
rest."
**At that same time in Chicago**
Assumpta struggled to open her eyes and the moment she did, she
panicked. Leo was standing right there and he said, "Sleep well, my
love?", his voice so sticky sweet it made her stomach turn.
"Leo, please let me go home," she begged but in her confusion, also
begged aloud, "help me, Peter." She never saw it coming and the smack
across her cheek burned.
His voice disturbing, hateful, and angry as he hit again and again,
"Tell me where your secret affair took place. Where did he meet you to
take his pleasure in another man's wife?" He put his hands on her
shoulders and shook her hard, "You are mine, not his. You chose me."
She was crying now but somehow more empowered than she though possible
in this moment. Assumpta knew she couldn't fight his grip but she could
fight back by saying the only things that would hurt more than physical
pain, "I don't love you. I love Peter."
"When you married me, did you love him then?" he growled at her,
pulling her up into a sitting position to get a better look into her
drugged eyes.
"Yes. Always." She sobbed, "You can do what you want Leo but you can
never change that." And it wasn't a smack it was a closed fist this
time, and she reeled back. Her eyes seeing tiny sparks of light and she
gasped for air.
"It's over Assumpta," he was laughing and now she knew Leo wasn't sane,
"they all think you're dead. And do you know what he did? Father
Clifford
didn't even mourn you like the others, he just left. You meant nothing
to
him and he has forgotten you already." Leo laughed and laughed while
leaning
over her body and plunged the needle in her leg.
Peter was shaking and crying in his sleep, the nightmare gripping him.
"NO!" he yelled out and sat straight up and rigid in bed. He could hear
her pleading, calling him and he could feel how cold she was. He knew
she was hurting. Peter
rubbed his eyes and took several shuddering breaths. It wasn't
possible, someone
who was dead was no longer hurting. Her voice was so angry this time.
"Assumpta,
please stop haunting me, I am so sorry," he whispered to the empty
bedroom.
Peter got up and looked at the clock, he'd slept for maybe an hour but
he knew no more sleep would come now. He went down the stairs and
entered the kitchen from the door in what used to be reception. Orla
and Niamh were there and they both stopped talking suddenly when they
saw him. Peter let out an internal groan, it wouldn't stop even with
Assumpta gone, he was still a scandal.
Niamh asked, "Did you get some rest?"
"Yes," Peter sat down at the table, "comfortable bed actually."
"Well, she always-" But Niamh stopped herself and covered, "would you
like something to eat, you must be hungry by now?"
Peter noticed but ignored it, then in response to her question, "Not
hungry."
Orla offered out of the blue, "We're going to help you." She sat down
at the table as well, "I made some calls to the papers that Leo worked
for and he quit his job, no one's heard from him, no freelance pieces,
nothing. One mentioned he heard a rumor that Leo left the country but
that's all we have so far." It was as if she were taken in by a murder
mystery on television, enthusiasm for solving the puzzle coming through
in Orla's voice.
Niamh looked apologetic, "Something isn't right and we need to find her
so we can say goodbye once and for all."
Peter reached over and squeezed Niamh's hand as a gesture of thanks.
Then said, "Of course Leo's entitled to travel or leave his job
permanently and there should be no reason to suspect something..."
Peter shook his head, but
he just knew she'd been telling him to come to Ballyk, pleading to find
her,
all so that he could learn this information- Assumpta was leading him
to
something.
And Niamh suddenly said, "Oh! Ambrose!" and she dashed from the kitchen
and over to Garda station.
Niamh wrote out questions on a note pad while Ambrose was on the phone.
Then he pulled her into his lap to see the paper and so she could hear
the
responses through the phone simultaneous to him. Niamh didn't know why
she
hadn't thought of Ambrose's position and the access he had to
information
as a method to find Leo before. Now, Ambrose was on the phone trying to
search
out anything like utility billing address or insurance payments made or
anything
at all that might point to where Leo was living now.
He got off the phone again, disappointed at the lack of results.
"Sorry, love."
"It's OK." She shrugged, "Thanks for trying anyway."
"Sure. It was kind of fun, sort of like the old days. Remember when you
used to help me with cases? Like Hastings to my Poirot, Robin to
Batman-
oh, one of those Charlie's Angels, I always had a thing for the one
with
the blonde feathery hair, what was her name?"
"Ambrose!" she admonished.
"No, I don't think that was it. I think I'd have remembered that if it
was." He was teasing her a little and she couldn't help but lean in and
kiss him. It was a short, quick kiss but then they hadn't touched each
other in months, from grief and sadness and moving and her taking on
the pub. It was suddenly as if the dam broke open and they grabbed at
each other. Ambrose's poor old office chair groaned and clanked under
the weight and the onslaught of their passion.
Now that it was evening, Peter's friends had returned to Fitzgerald's
to extend their quick hello from earlier and spend more time with
Peter. Brendan, Siobhan, Michael and Brian filled Peter in on news and
asked about what he'd been keeping busy with in Manchester. Peter spoke
briefly about his suspicions over Leo's behavior and with Brian about
his lack of finding any information. Niamh returned with Ambrose now at
her side. Everyone noticed them both looking a little rumpled, Niamh
smoothing her hair, and Ambrose's shirt was obviously mis-buttoned.
Peter knew his obsession with perfection, especially at his job so he
asked with concern, "Ambrose, you alright?"
"Fine. Never better," Ambrose declared with a strange tone and Niamh
elbowed him. He cleared his throat than added, "It's good to see you
Father. We've missed you around here."
"It's just Peter now."
"Oh, right."
Later the conversation came back to Leo's strange behavior as Niamh dug
out Assumpta's old address book. "I though of it weeks ago but the list
of
her college friends is long and I couldn't think of doing it all on my
own.
But if we all take a few, we could ring them all and ask if any one's
seen
Leo. Last resort I suppose but it's something."
An hour later, Brendan and Siobhan had returned without any leads. Orla
hung up her mobile and shrugged, and Brian and Michael entered from the
kitchen where they'd used that extension without success. Peter had one
last number and dialed on the phone in reception. He spoke to Dr. Ian
White, who immediately said, "I did talk to Leo, more than a month ago
or maybe even two months now.
He stopped in unexpectedly for a visit." They talked for only a minute,
Peter
sketching out a few details of what was going on until Ian interrupted
him,
"You know it is my week off and my wife Heather has been on me to take
her
somewhere instead of just sitting home. I think we will drive down
tomorrow and we can have this talk in person, how does that
sound, Peter?"
"That would be fantastic. Do you know Fitzgerald's?"
"Only all too well."
That night, over pints and whiskey the old group of friends told Orla
stories of Assumpta. Orla had already heard many of them from Niamh but
she didn't mind, it was more fun seeing them all interact as if they
were gears of a watch, perfectly molded to interlock, move, and fit
just right. Except for the awkward moment now and again usually when
the accident itself came up and they stumbled over their words. Orla
assumed those times to be when the last gear, the one now missing,
would've had her say. And it all would have run perfectly if she was
still here now, keeping perfect time for them all.
**The next day, lunch hour in Ballyk**
Ian White entered Fitzgerald's and looked around. "It's changed since
I've last been here." He recognized a few regulars but couldn't
remember the names since it had been so long. Niamh, Brendan, Siobhan,
Ambrose and Michael all reintroduced themselves.
And Ian in turn introduced his wife. "Hi, it's nice to meet all of
you," Heather said with an American accent and shook their hands.
Niamh offered them lunch and Orla got them each a beer as Peter now
came down the stairs, noticing the strangers sitting at the bar he
crossed to them.
The group settled in for lunch and Ian quickly had them amused over
Assumpta's
feats and fiascos while at University. "...And I swear it, she looked
the
guy right in the eye and said, `well then you'll have to look lower for
your
brain.' Assumpta never held a thing back."
They all had a good laugh and Ian's tone turned, "I didn't know she
passed, I'm very sorry to hear." He dropped his eyes, "The last time I
was here was when her mother died right after graduation, we all came
for the funeral. I wished I hadn't missed Assumpta's." He took a big
swig of his beer, trying to cover the emotion and Heather took his hand
in hers.
Peter steered the conversation, "That's partly why we all wanted to
talk to you. You see Assumpta and Leo had split up but he was still
next of kin." Peter worked very hard at keeping his heart out of his
throat and to simply report this all as fact, "But he never told anyone
where or when there was a memorial service or where she is now. But we
can't seem to find Leo now. You appear to be the last person to have
spoken with him."
And they all leaned in to hear Ian's account, "Well, I can say Leo was
not himself. His demeanor was entirely strange, he didn't talk at all
about Assumpta. I wasn't even aware that they had gotten married and
telling me about that normally would have been the first thing out of
Leo's mouth. He was always impressed with himself that he won her the
first time, I would have expected the very same pride and flaunting
this time too... but no, instead he only asked me very bizarre
questions."
"Like?" Peter prompted.
"Medical and drug information. It was- I don't know, I worried at the
time. I know his family has a history of mental disorders but Leo was
always... just one of us you know, I never thought twice. Until seeing
this time, well, the doctor in me felt maybe something wasn't right. If
he were my patient I would have sent him for some tests. But he just
disappeared, I returned after taking a call in the other room and he
was just gone."
Brendan asked, "When was this?"
"Maybe the 7th or 8th of last month."
"That was days before," Peter took a deep breath, "if he were back here
from London and only two hours away why didn't he come to see Assumpta?"
"Maybe he did?" Orla asked and everyone's head swung around her. "I
keep hearing stories about how she hid things so well. I mean even her
best friend didn't know she was in love with a priest. So maybe Leo did
see her and she just didn't tell any of you."
"A priest?" Ian shook his head, ready to laugh, "Not Assumpta, she
hated the clergy! And what kind of priest would've wanted to put up
with the wrath of her sharp tongue?" he chuckled.
Silence reigned until Ian realized maybe he'd said something he
shouldn't have. Niamh watched Peter's face as he was obviously fighting
the demons inside.
"This one did," Peter finally said.
Ian wasn't quite sure what to say now, "I'm sorry- I didn't know-"
Heather patted his hand and spoke up, "Ian has a wonderful knack for
always sticking his foot in his mouth. I swear it's a talent. I tell
him all the time he should have become a surgeon just so he could
remove it once in a while." This seemed to ease the strain and lighten
the mood again.
"Peter," Orla interrupted the discussion to put things back on track,
"if Assumpta saw Leo what do you imagine their conversation could have
been about?"
"I don't know, I guess it would have depended on which day exactly. A
few days before the accident I'm not sure what they would have talked
about. But
if it was that day, well, I suppose she could have told him about us
and
our plans."
"Ah no," Niamh leaned over the bar to him, her brow winkled with
concern, "you never told me it was the same day, oh, you poor thing,
I'm-"
"Don't, Niamh," Peter cut her off. Comforting was only going to allow
him to give into it all. "Please, I want to stay focused here." She
nodded her head, but still put a hand on his arm and left it there for
quite a while.
Brian came through the door of the pub. "Interesting development,
Father." Peter flinched at the mistake but didn't say anything. Brian
explained to everyone that he'd been on the phone with business
contacts and associates all day. "Seems someone at British Airways says
Leo booked flights to 5 different countries all leaving Heathrow almost
simultaneously the day after Assumpta died. It sounds to me like a man
that doesn't want it to be known which of the 5 he actually traveled
on. And here's the real shock, two tickets were purchased for each
flight, one in the name of Mrs. McGarvey and Assumpta's passport was
scanned in at Heathrow."
"Doesn't mean it was her of course we all saw her…ah…" Brendan was
wrestling with words again today, in a very uncharacteristic manner.
"Someone was flying with Leo and using an assumed name and that makes
Peter's misgivings about Leo very real."
"Right, give us the five cities then." Orla's eyes scanned the group in
front of her. "There's ten of us now so divide into two's and each take
a
possible trail and see where it goes."
Heads nodded and Brian read the list, "Paris, Hong Kong, Mexico City,
New York, Sydney."
Heather was sarcastic, "Doesn't sound at all suspicious. Like this guy
was not deliberately trying to point to all four corners of the globe?"
A few chuckles and then she offered, "Ian and I'll take New York. I
used to live there and date a NYPD cop, maybe he can help." The group
began dividing the work and moved off to find phones.
**At the same time in Chicago**
This time when Assumpta swam up from unconsciousness she was ready, and
she remembered to get away from Leo. She lay there feigning sleep until
she
heard him in the shower, then forced herself to struggle against the
drugs
remaining in her veins and get up from the bed. She took a few steps
toward
the door and fell from the awkwardness of her rubbery legs. Assumpta
was
crawling and almost to the room's door when Leo came out. He must have
heard
her fall and cut his shower short. He stood in a towel with a sharp
needle
in one hand.
But Assumpta was ready, she pushed her foot into his groin as hard as
she could. Her strength was hardly there but it was enough of a shock
to send him staggering back, dropping the needle on the carpet. She saw
it and began crawling toward it now, Leo meeting her there on his knees
and they both grabbed
for it together, Assumpta was sure she'd lost, Leo was stronger than
her
even when she was at full capacity but she kicked and screamed and
pushed and did all she could. Somehow in the midst of it all the needle
pushed into skin and emptied. But it wasn't her skin.
She watched as he sank to the floor in a pile while the drug began
taking effect and put Leo out. She took deep breaths, calming herself,
gathering her energy and then she crawled to the door. Assumpta dragged
herself up, her head swimming and spinning with the effort. She fought
the nausea and opened the door, stumbling down the hall, downstairs,
through the elegant lobby and then suddenly she was out on the street.
Somewhere in her spiraling mind Assumpta registered very tall
buildings, so tall she couldn't see the top of many because they were
above the clouds. New York possibly? She had never been and she didn't
much care right now. Her only thought, like a mantra over and over,
keep going, get away from him,
keep going, get away from him...
She began staggering up the street, block after block she walked, still
unbalanced and like she was moving through thick fog because of the
remaining
drugs in her system. It was a shopping street and throngs of people
were
everywhere. Even though there were lights, a woman in uniform stood at
an
intersection and directed the traffic and crowds. At the next street,
it
was a man this time. Officer Paratski waved the traffic on and stepped
to
the sidewalk out of the way. He noticed the young woman without shoes
who
seemed like one of the city's many homeless, a look of drug use in her
eyes.
But he still felt that assessment wasn't quite right, she wore an
expensive
ring and her long flowing skirt didn't look like something she could
have
picked up at a shelter. Paratski took a few steps closer to her, "You
alright,
Ma'am?"
"What?" she said in a strange accent, disoriented eyes and voice.
Definitely not a homeless person, thought Paratski, maybe a tourist who
indulged in a
few too many martinis at lunch while on vacation. He tried again,
"Ma'am, are you OK? Can I help you?"
"Where am I?" Assumpta asked.
Oh man, he thought, she'd really been hitting the sauce this one. He
answered her, "Michigan Avenue." When that didn't get a response he
added, "Chicago? Look, lady, I can help you get back to your hotel if
you just tell me the name of the one you're staying at." She still
looked at him very confused. He radioed in that he was bringing a woman
into the station and someone should cover his ass with the stupid Mag
Mile shoppers. Paratski hated traffic detail, it didn't impress the
ladies as much as drug busts on the south side did. "Come with me
Ma'am, I'll help you figure out where you're supposed to be."
The drugs in her system began to wear off more and more as Assumpta was
in the tiny room with two detectives, one white male and one black
woman,
but their faces still swam in front of her every once in a while. They
had
given her an ice packet to put to her eye that was swollen and bruised.
"Lady, that sounds like a plot from Days of our Lives," one of the
detectives said. It was the man, he had introduced himself as Detective
Joe Hampton and
was taking notes as she struggled to tell them what had happened.
Then his female partner, Kimberly Ward, poked him, "Joe, what the hell
do you know about Days of our Lives? You watch the soap opera channel
when you get home at night? Is that what all you Cubs fans do by
mid-June every year? That's just sad." Then Kim turned to Assumpta,
"Joe here's an idiot. Don't mind him. Paratski said you were staggering
around on Michigan Avenue like a drunk. Were you staying somewhere
along there?"
"Yes, we were in a hotel. But I don't know the name, I'm sorry I don't
remember much I just got out as fast as I could. And the drugs were
still making me confused."
"Drugs?"
"He kept injecting me with something that would keep me unconscious. I
fought him off this last time and got the needle stuck in him instead
of me. That's when I ran out on to the street and then the Gar- Officer
helped me."
Kim raised an eyebrow, she was impressed with this little white girl,
she was stronger than she looked. "Bastard deserves more than just a
needle through him, that's for damn sure."
Joe stood up. "We'll get you to the lab right away so they can take
blood and analyze what's trace in your system." After he left the room,
Kim was gathering papers and Assumpta spoke very softly, "Umm,
Detective Ward, do you-"
"You can call me Kim, honey." She winked at Assumpta.
Assumpta just didn't know what to believe. She had odd memories, little
scraps here and there of only a word or a moment- airplanes, Finn, Leo,
her
parents, Peter. It all mixed together and she was confused about what
was
real and what wasn't. In one, she screamed at Leo to leave her alone
but
she didn't know why or what was happening. She did remember him telling
her
she was dead, Assumpta wondered briefly if she was now in heaven or
hell.
Finally she spoke, "Kim, I'm not sure, the drugs make it all a blur
really,
but…" Assumpta trailed off, she couldn't formulate the words.
"Did he hurt you other than that back eye?" Kim's eyes were slits, she
hated men like Assumpta's estranged husband, but unfortunately she saw
these guys almost daily. Assumpta didn't answer but looked at her hands
squeezed tightly in her lap, she couldn't answer because had no idea
what was truth.
Kim said softly, "We'll do a rape kit in the lab too and I'll go with
you and sit there the whole time. Girl, we will get him and we will get
him good. I promise you that."
She sat for hours in the lab and then back to the busy detective's area
while paperwork was processed. Assumpta kept thinking about wanting to
ring
Peter and tell him she was alive. But the shock of someone who's
supposed
to be dead, but is now on the phone talking to you might send him over
the
edge. Assumpta couldn't imagine the kind of pain she would be going
through
right now if the situation was reversed. Kim returned with some shoes
for
her and a cup of coffee. Assumpta took a sip, it was thick and sludgy
and
so strong it made her gasp. "Thanks," she squeaked out.
**Later That Same Day in Ballykissangel**
At Fitzgerald's everyone met up again to report anything they'd found
but no one had found much of anything.
"And you're sure somehow Leo's hiding something about Assumpta and not
someone or something else?" Siobhan asked Peter. She was concerned and
afraid Peter was doing this in his grief and loss but it would only end
up hurting him more in the end when they found nothing.
"I'm positive, Siobhan. I'm not asking you to believe me, I know how it
looks..."
"Like a lovesick man desperate for any little bit of the woman he
misses," Brian said. Niamh was about to admonish him for being so cruel
when Brian continued, "I've been there myself when Niamh's mother died.
I know how you feel, Peter, any little piece of her, a lost earring, a
diary you didn't know
she had, anything she said or did you didn't know before, it's like
treasure
now."
Peter wasn't going to admit to them that Assumpta had been calling out
to him in his dreams, demanding that he find her. Instead he said, "If
Leo buried her somewhere or scattered her ashes, I just want to know
where she is now so I can go to her. Then, the more I hear about Leo's
behavior the more I'm confused and worried and suspicious. It's not
sound logic I know, but I just feel that we have to find him so I can
talk to him."
"Say no more Peter, you don't have to explain it," Brendan said. "You
know we're all here for you and we'll do anything you ask of us."
"Well," Orla entered the bar from the kitchen carrying tea for
everyone, "my friend in Sydney got them to run a check on all the hotel
bookings, no Leo. Of course, if he knew someone there he could be
staying with…?"
Ian piped up, "I don't think so. Leo doesn't have any family left and
his friends, well at least what I know of, are all in the UK somewhere."
"Good news," Heather entered reporting to them all, "David called my
cell back-"
Ian corrected her, "Mobile."
"If I bought it and I own it then I get to call it a cell phone, you
clod."
"When in Rome..."
"I am not in Rome." She said in a tone that told everyone she was only
maybe half-serious about the threat, "And I could divorce you any
second."
Peter spoke up, "You remind me a lot of Assumpta." A few others smiled
at that.
"Right," Orla, the taskmaster, "focus, what did your man in New York
say?"
"Oh," Heather remembered where she was before Ian distracted her,
"David called back on my CELL PHONE and said that the day the flight to
New York arrived, a rental car at the airport was charged to Leo's
credit card."
Michael uttered, "Oh, no, then he could be anywhere."
"Yes, but David put out a missing person report across the country.
Ambrose, you're on it as the official who filed it. It lists Leo on
suspicion of kidnapping and lists the make and model of his rental car
and the license plate number. If someone calls in to David he said he'd
call me right away."
Ambrose looked unapproving, "But we don't know that Leo abducted
anyone."
Heather explained, "Duh, but we want to track him down so I had to do
something. And we know that he flew with someone using Assumpta's
passport who isn't Assumpta- that's not kidnapping but it is a crime."
Niamh said, "I suppose now we just sit and wait."
**That night in Chicago**
It was almost eleven o'clock, Assumpta was still sitting in the orange
plastic chair in the station. The activity hadn't diminished all day
and since she wasn't as high of a priority as meth labs, missing
children, shootings, stabbings, and robberies, eventually she was
forgotten.
But Assumpta didn't know what else to do but sit there. She had no
money, no identification, and was in a foreign city all alone. If she
ever just wanted
to lose it and sob for hours, it was now. But she knew it wouldn't
solve
anything and if she gave in, she wasn't likely to ever stop. Kim walked
past
her, then stopped, turned and said, "Girl, you still here?!?"
Assumpta nodded, "I don't know where else to go."
"I'm off in 10 minutes, you stay here until then." And Kim dashed off.
Assumpta sighed, didn't she just say she had no where to go? She liked
Kim, the woman had been very kind to her all day, but she was also a
little strange.
Thirty minutes later they were walking from the Red line stop to Kim's
apartment. The entire way Kim hadn't stopped talking and Assumpta was
pretty sure the detective hadn't even taken a breath.
"So, Lindsay- that's my roommate- stays at her boyfriend's every night.
Now, why the hell she's still paying rent with me is beyond me, but
hey,
I'm not complaining you know what I mean. It's not a big place but it's
on
the 31st facing east so we got a great view of the lake and there is a
Cuban
place around the corner that delivers all night. Oh and Duke, now he's
big
but I promise he don't bite. No, he just likes to eat and sweet Jesus
does
he eat! I mean we're talking rolls of toilet paper, socks, one time he
ate
the remote and each time he barked the channel changed. Now-"
Finally Assumpta realized Duke was a dog. Amazingly, in spite of the
circumstances, Kim was actually making her smile a little.
"-as I said he's big but he won't hurt you. He's a teddy bear." Kim
stopped and looked right into Assumpta's eyes, "But if any bastard
tries to break in and get you, Duke'll go for the jugular. So you will
sleep safe tonight." Then Kim's tone returned to normal and she was off
again, "Now my girl Tamika, two years ago found herself this boyfriend
and I am telling you I knew he was a cheatin' lyin' pig the day I met
him but-"
Assumpta listened but looked up to the night sky as they walked. The
city was so bright and reached so high, that only a handful of stars
were visible. She picked out one, twinkling bright and slightly blue in
color and thought, `Peter, did you send me a guardian angel tonight? To
watch over me and take me somewhere safe?'
Kim's voice broke through her thoughts again, "Tamika's got a thing for
boys with big lips, like them puffy kinds, you know what I mean? She
thinks
it means other things are big too. But I tell her, girl..." They
entered
a high-rise building and rode the elevator. "Now Lindsay, her boyfriend
is
tall and got such a skinny little white ass he looks like an insect, I
am
telling you not my type at all…" Kim opened the door to her apartment
and
Duke greeted them with a big, slobbering tongue. Assumpta thought he
was
at least twice the size of Finn, this wasn't a dog, this was Bigfoot.
Kim
showed her around the small apartment and told her she could sleep in
Lindsay's
room. She gave Assumpta a T-shirt and running shorts to sleep in and it
didn't
take long for Assumpta to crawl gratefully under the blankets.
**At the same time in Ballykissangel**
Peter was wide awake in the middle of the night. He was laying on his
side in bed watching a bright blue star in the night sky filled with
thousands. The window was open and the sheer white curtains were pulled
back and fluttered in the wind. He thought back to the night he woke
Assumpta up and asked to borrow her van. He didn't ask to borrow the
driver too, but she figured that part out pretty quick. He remembered
these curtains, they were the same ones she appeared behind that night.
His brow winkled, could it be? He'd never been in this part of the
second floor before, could it be because this used to be her room? He
turned his head into the pillow and inhaled deeply. It was faint but
he'd know the smell of her perfume anywhere. He grabbed the pillow
hugging it to his chest as the tears came.
Knowing he was only in her bed now that she was gone- grief and
loneliness flowed over him again as if he'd lost her all over. He
blinked back tears and saw the star again flicker and glow and it
seemed to warm him somehow. The tears dried and he clutched the pillow,
closed his eyes.
Two of the fairest stars in all the heavens, having some business do
entreat her eyes to twinkle in their spheres till they return. She
whispered, "Peter," holding him as he cried, "I'm here," she reassured.
**In Chicago**
Assumpta's eyes opened to sunlight, the dream of him crying and the
weight of Peter's arms hugging her to his chest vanished. She was alone
and the L
train rumbled by outside in the distance but otherwise it was quiet.
She looked
at the clock, 2:30 PM, she'd slept all day?
The note told her where clean towels were, to borrow whatever clothes
she could find that fit. "Lindsay has a skinny white ass just like
yours, so she
says you can borrow something of hers if it fits better than mine" and
it
said to make herself at home. Kim signed it saying she'd be back around
5.
Quarter after 5 Kim came through the door carrying a pizza and a 6-pack
of
Bud light. Duke went from dreamland to jumping around and licking Kim
everywhere
in 3.4 seconds. Kim glanced over to the couch, where Assumpta was now
showered,
dressed and sitting, "So, the little leprechaun finally woke up?
Feeling
better?" Assumpta nodded. "Good. First we eat, then I have some things
to
tell you."
Assumpta said dryly, "I'm sure,"
Later, Kim pulled out some files from her bag. "The consulate sent us
over some paperwork for you to fill out and sign. We faxed them your
lab results on your fingerprints and the police report on Leo. Who, by
the way, disappeared. Joe tracked down which hotel you two were in and
late this afternoon we went over there but he'd already checked out and
taken off. Still in the same rental
car though- damn fool of a man- so we'll get him eventually."
Assumpta took a large gulp of beer. She felt like drinking all six.
Kim, of course, continued talking. "And this is interesting too," she
spoke while chewing another piece of pizza, "there's a police report
filed through New York on Leo, it's a report of a kidnapping."
Assumpta raised her eyebrows.
"Yeah," Kim agreed, "I thought you'd said everyone believed you were
dead?"
"I thought that's what Leo told me, I'm very sure on that memory."
Assumpta took another huge gulp of beer.
"Well, at least one other person knows you're alive."
"Peter." She said it like a whispered prayer.
"Who?" Kim asked.
"Ah, just someone from home that I'm close to," Assumpta covered,
leaning back on the couch and staring at the baseball game playing on
the TV. Her mind wandered to him, wondering again if she should ring
him.
"Oh, no, you are not gonna end the story there. This is clearly juicy
and I love juicy. Come on girl, tell Kim everything."
Assumpta gave her a small smile, "We're in love. Or, at least we were
before…" She stopped, she hadn't considered until now the fact that
weeks, almost months
had passed and what if everything was different now. "But he's a
priest," Assumpta added quickly, "so, I don't know what will happen."
"Honey, that is juicy. Only kind of priest we got here are the ones
that like little boys. I'm glad to see there are still a few that like
the traditional." Kim opened another beer for them both. "You two do
the wild thing yet? Or is this just in a theoretical stage?"
"Definitely the second." Assumpta sighed, "I miss him." Then she put a
hand over her mouth, it was not like her to open up about things,
particularly to a stranger. Maybe it was the beer.
"That's a damn shame. I bet it's him that's looking for you- oh, that's
just soooo romantic."
"Maybe." Assumpta tried to sound more hopeful than she felt.
**Same evening in Ballyk**
Father Aidan walked into Fitzgerald's and noticed how busy it was.
"Perhaps why mass was empty tonight," he said under his breath, then
spotted some strangers
at the bar talking to his sister and went to introduce himself.
Heather's cell phone rang and she stepped into the kitchen to answer it
with Niamh and Orla on her heels. She said, "uh, huh" a few times then
hung
up and turned to the women, "David got a call from the Chicago police
an
hour ago, they say Assumpta is in their custody but that Leo took off."
"Assumpta?" Niamh shook her head, "No it's just because of the
kidnapping report. Someone was with him and they assume it's…"
"It could be," Orla shrugged.
"No. It's just confusion," Niamh insisted. "Don't tell Peter he'll be-
it'll kill him if he has hope and then-"
Tears started down Niamh's cheeks and Orla put an arm around her
shoulder, "We'll sort this whole mess out but you've got to keep it
together for Peter's sake. He obviously needs your friendship to help
him through this otherwise he wouldn't have come back here to Ballyk in
the first place."
"Assumpta was always the strong one not me," Niamh cried. Ambrose
stepped into the kitchen and saw the two women comforting his wife. It
gave him pause, she used to come to him when she was upset with things.
Or Assumpta. It didn't hit him until this moment how much losing her
best friend changed Niamh. How
could he have been so blind and stupid, he thought. Ambrose crossed to
her
and took her in his arms.
Peter sat with Father Aidan, at first feeling self-conscious but as the
two talked, Peter found Father Aidan growing on him. Then Niamh and the
others came from the kitchen. Niamh told Peter the news but it seemed
the whole the
pub listened. "They matched her fingerprints and they… they say it's
her."
There was silence. Niamh was so white, Peter was afraid she'd faint.
"You're just afraid to hope. I know, Niamh, I'm the same."
Niamh continued, "They say it'll be weeks before all the red tape is
cleared up, before… this woman whoever she is, could come back here. Do
I have to wait that long, wondering?" Niamh was shaking now.
"I'll go there." Peter's voice was stronger than he really felt inside.
"If they find Leo then I want to talk to him. And this woman whoever
she
is, I want to talk to her too."
While on the plane Peter drifted between sleep and alertness, at one
point he thought he heard Assumpta's laugh, the light soft sound he so
seldom heard from her ever in life. He sighed and he shifted in his
sleep.
**The next afternoon in Chicago**
Peter froze at the door. Through the tiny glass window he could see her
seated at a table. The last time he saw her face it was blue and purple
and
she was lying on a table in the morgue. It took his breath away, it
wasn't
possible, he told himself. Peter shook his head and blinked a few
times,
sure this was all a dream. One of the many he'd had over the weeks that
he'd
missed her and longed for her. But then, if it was a dream he didn't
want
to wake up from it. He took three steps into the room and stopped when
she
looked up. Their eyes met.
Assumpta stared, he looked like he'd been through hell. He was very
thin and his face was worn, circles under his eyes. Peter didn't come
to her, he
didn't speak, and it caused her fears and doubts to rush forth- he's
moved on, he doesn't want me now, I'm the past and I bring him too much
pain and complication…
"Assumpta?" He tested his voice. Please don't be a vision, he pleaded
in his head. "Am I going crazy?"
"You better not be."
He closed his eyes, it was so Assumpta- brutally honest, bold,
sarcastic- that he began to sob. She rushed to him throwing her arms
around him, "Peter, I'm so sorry."
He buried his head in her hair, his hands roamed her body. "You're
real."
"Yes, it's all over now."
"I thought you were dead," his voice still muffled with anguish, "I saw
your body, you were dead and then we had a wake and I- and I-"
"It's all right now. I'm sorry." She moved her hand from his neck into
his hair, soothing him. She didn't realize until now how much fear had
still been
inside her these last few days. Until now, when it all flowed out of
her.
Peter gulped a breath, "Don't say you're sorry. It's not your fault."
"I know but I'm still sorry it happened."
He took another shuttering breath, the tears subsided a little, "How
did it happen?"
"I don't know how, but Leo made you think I was dead and then brought
me here. He's mad."
Peter's hands were cupping her face and he ran his thumb just below her
black eye. Very softly he asked, "Did he do this?"
She was embarrassed, more than a little concerned for Peter's mental
state and though she assumed it was Leo she had to be honest, "I don't
remember."
Kim ducked her head in and saw the couple in a close embrace. They were
cute together, she thought and asked, "How's it going in here?"
Assumpta gave her a small smile, "Fine."
"Good. The Marriott has a room for you both. They're not too far from
here and it's very nice but won't break the bank. Here's the
information, maps of the city, and the number for the consulate."
"Thanks," he said, not taking his eyes off Assumpta.
Kim added, "And Peter, I'm trusting you because my girl Assumpta says I
can. You better watch over her. But you call me if you need someone
with
a big gun."
"I'm not letting her out of my sight or my hands even for a second."
Assumpta raised an eyebrow, "What happens when I have to shower?"
He just kept his eyes on her, intent burning in them. Assumpta realized
what those thoughts of his were and she blushed.
Kim smiled, "I like him!"
Peter opened the door to the hotel room and stepped inside, then
realized Assumpta was still standing at the entry not moving.
"Assumpta?" He held the
door open and searched her eyes for some sign of what was wrong.
"One room?" She suddenly felt very awkward. "Peter, I wasn't thinking.
This could get back to someone."
"Like who exactly?"
"Father Mac, for one."
Ah, now he understood, she'd missed a few crucial events over the last
7 or 8 weeks. "I'm not a priest anymore." He said, "In fact, I haven't
seen Father Mac since Kieran's christening."
Her face was unreadable but she stepped inside the room now. "I guess
I've missed some important events. Kieran's christening?" she prompted.
"My last official act as a priest, then I left Ballyk, never showed up
at the party at Brian's." He sighed and put distance between them,
sitting on the end of the bed.
"You left Ballyk and the church?"
"I couldn't be a priest anymore. I argued with Niamh about it, told her
I wasn't sure if I believed in the whole Catholic rigmarole anymore."
Assumpta's eyes shot to his and he shrugged, "She told me I'd get there
but that she preferred it if I fought my demons amongst friends. I
couldn't..." The silence in the room was thick, Assumpta wasn't sure
she wanted to hear all of this but somehow she sensed he needed to tell
her.
"We had a wake. I took them to where we walked on the day you… high
above so I could look down at that spot where we decided to be
together." She shivered, it was too creepy. He saw her reaction and
forced himself to lighten the mood
for her sake, Peter gave her a lopsided half-attempted smile, "Don't
worry,
everyone said nice things and Brian brought Chinese food."
After a moment he continued, "Brendan was… he in particular wouldn't
let me sink. I yelled at him, told him I didn't know what to tell
everyone, what that Jesus wanted you for a sunbeam? He said I could do
better than that. They were all worried about me, we hadn't even told
them about us and yet they all knew."
"Where did you go?"
"Manchester."
Assumpta was confused, just a week before he'd said differently,
"Peter, you said Ballyk was your home and if everyone was supporting
you- I could see if they weren't, but why? It must have been worse on
your own?"
"It was only home because you were in Ballykissangel. Once you
weren't." He shrugged again, a heartbreaking attempt at making it all
seem minor, "Besides I put off packing up and selling Mum's home so I
spent a few weeks doing that.
I did the paperwork though the church there to be released from my
vows.
I kept busy. Then I went back a few days ago." He stopped, now was
probably
too soon to admit that he was hearing her voice, she'd certainly think
he
was crazy. "Ah, Niamh and Brian bought the pub."
"Oh, that's just grand." She rolled her eyes and sat down next to him.
"So, let me review, I have no identity, no money, no clothes, no
passport or way to get home, and once I finally get there, I have no
home or business."
His voice was very quiet, unsure if his take on it would help in the
least, "But you have me."
"Do I still have you?"
"How could you even ask? Assumpta my feelings for you could never
change, they only became clearer and stronger in missing you."
"Well then I say fair trade." She turned and met his eyes, "I can get
back all of those things I've lost eventually. But if I lost you, my
God, even if I thought for a few weeks that you were gone I wouldn't
have survived."
"I'm not so sure I've been surviving. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep…"
"Well we can get some food now." She stood and held out a hand, "Come
on, so."
He shook his head, the emotions wearing him thin. But she wouldn't hear
of it, she took his hand and dragged him up, saying, "You're lookin'
dreadful Peter. You don't take very decent care of yourself and I'm
going to have to
take on that job." Out on the street they wandered in the fading light
until
they found a café with sidewalk tables.
"Here," she insisted. They sat and he rubbed his eyes with his hands.
"Jet lagged?" she asked.
"If that's what you call it then I've been jet lagged for months."
"You're not mourning me anymore," with a disapproving tone, "I haven't
seen you in weeks and I've missed you and you're going on acting as if
I'm dead, Peter." Her temper was getting up, "I'm alive and well. Look
at me."
He was still gazing in the distance, still the same red around the
eyes, she insisted even louder now, "Look at me." His eyes slid to
hers. She was breathing and her eyes were on him, animated, full of
life, mostly anger in
them right now but undeniably alive and undeniably Assumpta's eyes.
He reached over and took her hands, "I missed you."
Her eyes softened, "I know, me too."
"I never even got the chance to kiss you before you-"
She cut him off by leaned across the small café table and
meeting his lips lightly. Then the kiss deepened. He felt his restrain
abandon him and so he withdrew.
A grin broke out on her face as she said, "And it's only our first
date." He finally smiled then.
After the meal, they walked hand in hand along the waterfront.
Sailboats were in the distance, volleyball players on the beach, and
Jamaican steel drum music blasted from someone's stereo. It was nice to
just be together doing nothing in particular.
Once inside their room in the darkness, their kisses began to work into
a frenzy as he backed her, when her knees hit the bed she fell and
suddenly Peter was on top of her, pinning her. "Wait." She put her
hands on his chest and when he let up, she scrambled away from him to
the middle of the bed. All of the sudden everything was moving way too
fast for her and she was left
feeling confused now.
"Assumpta?"
"I'm sorry."
"It's alright." He was reviewing in his head, trying to figure out why
the switch happened, "You remember I'm not a priest anymore," he
thought back to a time at the Egan's when she suddenly pushed him away
before, "this isn't wrong now."
"Yeah, I know that."
"I love you Assumpta but nothing will happen here that you're not ready
for. And honestly, I haven't slept a full night in months so I'm not
sure
I'd really have the..."
Somehow being reminded again of the pain he'd been through broke apart
all the confusion inside herself. "Peter, come here," she opened her
arms to him.
He hesitated for a second but then crawled to her and they clung to one
another,
she said again, "I'm so sorry that this has happened to us."
"I just want to hold you to keep reminding myself that you're real and
I'm not imagining all of this. I don't want to let go."
She lay back and guided his head to rest on her shoulder, "Then don't
let go of me."
**The next morning in Chicago**
Before he even opened his eyes, he said into her ear, "I have far too
much energy. I'd forgotten that this is what happens when I actually
get a full night of sleep."
"Ah, there you have it, Assumpta Fitzgerald, good for what ails you."
"Let's do something," he suggested.
"What?"
"I don't know, we have days, maybe weeks before they'll let you fly
home so let's make it a holiday. Enjoy it."
Now she turned in his arms and faced him, "Hum, what exactly do you
have in mind, Mr. `I Have Energy to Burn'?"
He ignored her innuendo, after last night it was clear to him that they
needed to take things very slow. That was alright with him, as long as
she
was in his life and safe, it was enough. Just days ago, it was more
then
Peter thought he'd ever have. Besides, it would be fun to romance her a
little
first... "How `bout seeing some sights?"
"I don't know about sights but I do need to buy a few things seeing as
I have one thing to wear and a borrowed pair of shoes." Then
embarrassment bloomed
on her face, "I don't have money though."
"You can have my bank card but in exchange I get to help pick out some
of your new clothes," his tone dropped deeper but still teasing, "and
what goes underneath."
"You've gotten past that being a priest thing rather fast."
It was the same shopping district she'd wandered upon after running
from Leo. She reached for Peter's hand and held tight, trying to
overcome the memories
and fear of that day.
He squeezed her hand back, "I won't lose you in the crowd."
It was hot, hotter than it ever got in Ireland but there was a stiff
and constant wind from the direction of the lake and that helped make
it comfortable. She looked up and down, Bloomingdale's, Marshall
Field's, Saks Fifth Ave., Ralph Lauren, Nike, The Disney Store, even
the signs on the shops were huge. Everything was big to her- the
street, the crowd, buildings, cars, lights, just everything.
And it was loud, on one corner a man in full kilt played the bagpipes,
on the next corner was a six piece orchestra and across from that a man
holding a megaphone shouting that Russian spies told him the nuclear
war will begin next Tuesday, all as a traffic chopper passed overhead.
This place was nothing like Grafton street.
They got off the street and went into Watertower Place. Inside Field's
she found a few skirts, shorts and tops and went to try them on. Peter
waited for her outside the dressing room, he almost considered going in
there with Assumpta, but resisted. He had to learn to trust again and
let her be independent or else he'll smother her or she'll kill him,
whichever came first. When she
reappeared though, Peter let out the breath he hadn't even realized
he'd been
holding.
They passed Victoria's Secret and he gave her a look like a cat with a
canary in his mouth.
"You wait out here," she pointed a warning finger at him and he sat on
a bench and just smiled at her.
Assumpta was the practical type, basics only in basic colors. But Peter
had her feeling a little adventurous, after all, he would eventually
see
whatever it was that she bought here today… The thought of his reaction
was
in her mind the whole time as she picked things out and tried them on.
She
didn't go for black lace or red shimmer, she naturally knew what he'd
like
on her- pretty and feminine. After making her choices, the saleswoman
asked
her if she needed anything else. Assumpta was about to say no and then
something else caught her eye, a long sheer negligee of pale gold with
embroidered flowers,
it was luxurious, then she looked at the tag, oh Lord, and expensive
too.
She held his card in one hand and the sexy negligee in the other. The
saleswoman
smiled at her, "Let me guess, you're boyfriend's credit card? Believe
me,
I've helped enough men in here to know that they never consider the
purchase
not worth the cost."
Assumpta met the woman's eyes, "Then I'll take this too."
Twenty minutes later she came out of the shop carrying a rather large
shopping bag. He raised an eyebrow but she said nothing, handing his
card back to him.
"Come on, just one little peek inside?" He put an arm around her waist
and his other hand went for the bag. She yanked it back, "Behave."
She found some new trainers in the Nike shop. Peter wanted to wander
through the four story Virgin Records Store. In Bloomingdale's he
convinced her to try on a delicate peach colored dress. She tried to
explain him she didn't need such a thing but he just wouldn't hear of
it. Then after Saks, they crossed
the street and Peter pulled on her hand, yanking her into a shop so
fast
she had no chance to see the name, she only caught a glimpse of a
bronze
statue of an man with a clock on his back over the entry. Once inside,
Tiffany's
was emblazoned on the wall and behind a hundred glass cases were
thousands
of diamonds.
"Ah, Peter?" All at once she was very nervous.
A salesmen asked them, "Can I help you?" then he noticed the woman
looked very pale, "Ma'am, are you alright? Would you like to sit down?
It's pretty humid out there today, you have to be careful about heat
stroke."
Assumpta sank into the chair he offered, Peter turned to the salesmen,
"No, I think it's that she never expected me to take her in here
today." He continued to speak to the salesmen but now looked into
Assumpta's eyes, "Since we haven't been together for all that long she
wasn't sure until now how committed I am to her."
"So are we looking for an engagement ring today?" The salesmen's eyes
sparkled, he liked this couple already, so different from the young and
smug ones he saw daily.
Peter turned back to him, "Yes we are."
"I'm Bob," he held out his hand and shook Peter's, "and I'll make it as
easy as possible on you both," he winked at Assumpta and then in a
conspiratorial way told Peter, "Don't worry, the women are always
speechless for the first five minutes in here. Then once they try on a
few diamonds, it usually goes the opposite way."
Bob moved away to get some examples of settings he always started with
to demonstrate. Assumpta just looked at Peter, her face blank.
"What?" he asked all too innocently.
"What are you-" Assumpta took a deep breath, "You thought you'd lost
me, I understand that it's a lot for you to recover from but don't you
think this,
so soon, is just overcompensating just a little?"
"I didn't say you get to wear it today," Peter beamed at her, "I'm
thinking of tormenting you with the knowledge that I have it but I'm
holding on to it until you least suspect." His eyes dropped to her
Victoria's Secret bag on the floor, his tone was teasing, "You have
your ways to torment me, now I have mine."
Bob returned, "So first let's decide on the setting, platinum, gold, or
white gold?"
Later, as their shopping was winding down, Peter told her they should
find somewhere special for dinner.
"Why?" she asked suspiciously.
"Why not? You have a new dress to wear and we're on a romantic holiday
remember?"
"Oh, right," she mocked him.
But back in their room Assumpta did take the time to get dressed and
put up her hair. And when she reappeared from the bathroom, saw Peter
was changed now and had a finger on the edge of the Victoria's Secret
bag about to pull it open a little for a peek. "Peter!" she shouted.
"Hiya," he snapped back, "you're ready fast."
She rolled her eyes, "I'll bet you were one of those kids who started
searching the house for his Christmas gifts weeks before."
"Never. I was always perfectly upright, moral, virtuous."
"You've changed," she said dryly. "I'm obviously a dreadful influence
on you."
Then he noticed the new dress on her, it was held by thin straps over
her shoulders, tight through her upper body and then flowing around her
legs, it ended just above her knees. And she looked gorgeous.
He was gawking, she noticed laughed, he never gawked. Then told him,
"You look good too."
They went to an Italian place a few blocks away that front desk clerk
recommended. It was wonderful and filling and Assumpta leaned back and
took the last gulp of her wine just as coffee was served. She seemed to
be looking at him expectantly.
"What?" he asked.
"Nothing, I just..."
His lips curled ever so slowly into a smile, "I told you, when you
least expected it."
She gave him a glare because he'd caught her. Assumpta lied and
insisted, "That's not what I was thinking."
"Torment," was all he said as he sipped his coffee.
They returned to their room late, Assumpta went into the bathroom and
considered the negligee for only a second before putting on a shirt of
his that came down to her knees. When she came out Peter was already
settled in the bed flipping through the TV channels by remote. She was
a little unsure for a second until he asked, "Do you think I can get
football scores here?"
She sighed and slid under the sheet next to him. An old episode of
Friends came on and he pulled her to his chest, wrapping his arms
around her, mindlessly watching the show and drifting to sleep.
Assumpta smiled a contented smile, like an old married couple, she
thought, as natural as the sun rising in the
east.
**The next morning in Chicago**
Peter rang Niamh that morning and carefully broke the news, then passed
the phone to Assumpta. She spent time reassuring Niamh and then the
phone
in the pub was passed all round so everyone could hear Assumpta's voice
and believe that the impossible was real. Padraig had a bunch of
one-liners ready and Brendan said with meaning, "You have no idea how
nice it is to hear your voice." Siobhan told her about the baby and
Brain told her how upset Father Mac had been, Assumpta thought that one
was also another one-liner.
Seconds after she hung up, it rang again and Peter picked up the phone
assuming it was one of their friends forgetting to say one last thing.
Then Kim's voice
came over the line filing him in on how the investigation was
continuing. After several minutes, he hung up and sank on the bed. "Oh,
God." He put his
head into his hands, "Assumpta, one of the lab test results came back."
He
couldn't say the word, he couldn't even think it, he raised his voice
just
slightly, "Why didn't you tell me before?"
Assumpta immediately knew what they were talking about here. "Peter, I
don't remember," she insisted. "I was unconscious all those weeks. I
have one or two vague memories but those drugs were a blessing."
Peter's features were twisting and fighting. She knew the idea was
almost more than he could handle after all he'd already been through.
When their eyes met she begged, "Please don't look at me like that,
like I'm different now, like I'm broken, like you don't… like you don't
want me anymore." Her voice broke but she maintained her control.
"Of course I want- I-" Peter's mind kept running one thought over and
over, how could she possibly keep strong. He carefully chose words, "My
feelings for you will never change. But yours, in the face of all this-
in confession I've heard women cry out of fear and unable to ever be
near a man again-"
"You're not Leo. I trust you and I could never be afraid of you."
His sarcasm hit him, "You're never afraid of anything."
"I am." It was hard to admit but she sensed he needed to hear all that
she normally held inside, the healing had to began here in this moment.
"Even not remembering but just knowing makes me a little afraid now.
But I'm afraid above all else of you not treating me the same. I still
want you to think I'm desirable." Her voice had gone very light and
gentle on the last words and his heart filled for her, Peter stood and
took her in his arms.
"You are so beautiful to me," he snuggled his head in her hair just
below her ear, "nothing could ever change that."
Once in his arms a bit of the usual Assumpta, the strong determined one
returned. "I want us to let this go because I refuse to let Leo come
between
us and take away more than he already has. I won't let him win."
Peter could feel her relaxing as he moved his hands on her back to
soothe her. He had to know. "When you were gone, I dreamt of you. You
kept calling out to me telling me you were scared and hurt and you
needed me to find you. Was that real?"
"I don't know... I know I felt your strength."
"I thought- when I heard your voice- I thought you were haunting me.
Because even though I knew you didn't want it... I gave you the last
rites. So I thought
you were haunting me for revenge. I thought you were yelling at me all
the
way from the afterlife."
She snorted, trying to hold it in. And then pulled back a little, one
look at his serious face after having admitted that he was afraid of
her wrath even after she were dead, and she couldn't hold it anymore
and started laughing.
He was waiting for the anger and so the laughing completely caught him
by surprise. "You're not angry?"
"Oh, I'm sure I will be later. But I think your guilt has been enough
punishment." She shook her head, "Haunting you?"
"I will always carry this around with me wondering if you'll be taken
again, worried that you'll be hurt the second you're out of my sight.
You are too independent and I used to love that about you but now,
especially after all this I just want- I want to be so protective of
you. You'll hate it. I'll drive you mad."
"Who says you haven't already been driving me to it for years now?" Her
sarcasm covered her heart hurting for him. Then Assumpta took a deep
breath,
"I might fight you on it but I'll try to remember what you've been
through
and that it is because you love me." Her eyebrow went up as she teased,
"Just
don't tell anyone I'm letting you get away with it. It'll ruin my
reputation
and I want everyone to fear my haunting them one day."
"It's not funny, Assumpta."
"Oh, yes. Yes it is." And she laughed again.
As they walked along the lakefront later, Peter realized he had learned
one lesson in all of this mess, that nothing life handed to them would
ever
pull them apart. She was strong but together they were even stronger.
And
he felt lucky to have found this kind of love because so few people in
life
ever do. He pulled her close to him and in the middle of the beach with
hundreds of people as an audience, he kissed her with every emotion he
had inside. When he finished she asked, a little overwhelmed, "What was
that for?"
"Because you're beautiful. And I'm lucky."
**Three days later in Chicago**
They spent their days as tourists, visiting Navy Pier, the museums,
walks in the evening in Millennium Park. Even ever so briefly seeing
the 103 floor observation deck of the Sears Tower, until the tour guide
told them the building swayed 6 to 12 inches in the gusts of wind which
made Peter feel nauseous and they had to go back down. Assumpta's
teasing on that had been relentless for days. Finally the consulate
came through with her new passport and they booked a flight home for
the following day. They planned to celebrate their last night in
Chicago with Kim.
Peter and Assumpta waited at a Spanish tapas restaurant sipping sangria
until she finally showed up. Assumpta barely had time to fit in hello
before
Kim was off on one of her marathon talk sessions. First Kim told them
the
story of how the night before Leo was in a stand-off with Police in
Kentucky
and then shot himself. Peter heard Assumpta's sharp intake of breath
but
she didn't say anything.
By the time coffee was served Kim was winding down her soliloquy, "That
last tox screen result came back and the drugs that showed up in your
system
were a crazy mix." When Kim named one, Assumpta immediately knew where
Leo
got the idea for his whole mad plan. On one level she actually felt
sorry
for him, but mostly sad and overwhelmed for both herself and for Peter.
Once out on the street after the meal Peter asked her, "Are you OK?"
"Yeah. I was just thinkin' back to the very first semester I met Leo."
She walked over to the edge of the Chicago river and watched the Clark
street bridge being raised to let a sailboat though. He put an arm
around her waist as she sighed, "I was taking a Shakespeare class and I
used to quote Romeo and Juliet to him. I thought it sounded very
romantic. I was so young and foolish. But the absurdity of it was that
I hated that play because I never thought it was at all romantic to
kill the lovers off in the end. I never saw it as a beautifully tragic
love story, I thought it was pathetic. It's only a writer that isn't
creative enough to come up with an actual ending, for lack of something
better, just kills off the characters. It's cheating."
He smirked at her stance, ready to take on Shakespeare and anyone else.
She was the strongest person he knew and he was so proud of her. She
looked
up at Peter, "And now Leo's the pathetic, not tragic ending to the
story.
It seems to fit in some ironic way."
Then he rested his forehead to hers putting his finger on her lips,
"The only part I remember from Romeo and Juliet is when he's convincing
her to kiss him and says, `let lips do what hands do,' frisky fellow,
that Romeo."
"I never liked him, Romeo was too flighty for me."
"Oh?"
Assumpta reached her hands up around his neck and said, "I always had a
secret fondness for the sensible Friar."
"Now why doesn't that surprise me?" And then she kissed him.
On the flight home the next night, Peter was reviewing in his head all
the preparations he talked to Niamh about on the phone the night
before. He thought through all the changes that Assumpta had missed,
making sure she had already been prepared on each. Then he remembered
one that he'd failed to mention yet, the upstairs of the pub.
Peter leaned over to her and said, "I forgot to tell you that Niamh's
redone the upstairs a little but you don't have to worry, your room is
still the same."
"How do you know it's the same, you never were in it before," Assumpta
pointed out to him as she lowered the paperback she was reading.
"I slept there when Niamh let me stay for a few days, when we all
worked to find you. The pillow and sheets still smell like you." His
voice turned a little sad, "It was difficult to think I was there only
once you were..."
"Mmmm," she leaned into his ear and ticked it with her breath, "I like
thinking of you sleeping in my bed. Only now it's our bed."
"Assumpta, we're on a plane," he shifted around uncomfortably.
"Yes, I believe I noticed that and since there's 8 hours of time to
kill I was thinking that's plenty of time to tell you, in detail, all
about what's in my Victoria's Secret bag." She raised an eyebrow at his
squirm.
"Torment?"
"You got it." She wore a triumphant smile.
"You'll have to explain it to Niamh then, why you don't even have time
for a hello because I'm dragging you off so I can be alone with you."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah."
**The next day in Ballykissangel**
Peter drove them from Dublin airport to Ballyk and as they pulled up to
Fitzgerald's Liam and Donal were on ladders still trying to secure a
paper
sign out front. She got out and they held it straight with big smiles
on
their faces, as if them holding it there was the plan all along. It
announced
"Wellcome hme Assumpta!" She held back a grin, clearly some things
never
change.
Peter held her hand and as they entered the pub together the cheers
were immediate.
"Lazarus has risen!" Assumpta announced upon entering the pub. "And
without ever going to confession or mass once in ten years time. What
kind of lesson does that teach all of you?"
"That Lazarus has got a thing for the priest?!?" Siobhan shouted to the
crowd that erupted in laughter.
"Not exactly the lesson she was going for, Siobhan," Peter said with
humor in his voice.
Once Niamh finally let go of her, everyone else took turns giving
Assumpta a hug or words of welcome. Ian, whom she hasn't seen since
college, was there as well and introduced Assumpta to his wife.
Peter whispered in Assumpta's ear, "You have them all to thank, they
all helped me find you."
Heather beamed, "It's wonderful to finally meet you, Assumpta, I've
heard such nice things about you." Assumpta's eyes shot to Ian's and
narrowed, the
question unsaid but obvious.
Ian shrugged, "I left out 90% and exaggerated the good stuff."
"You behave," Assumpta warned, "or I'll tell her the goat story." Ian
looked uncomfortable and just then Orla saved him by introducing
herself to Assumpta.
"You have no idea the reputation that precedes you." Orla laughed a bit
as she shook her hand.
"I can only imagine."
Assumpta and Orla chatted until Brendan called from behind her,
"Assumpta?" And as she turned around saying, "What-" she saw Peter on
one knee, their friends gathered around him. He opened the Tiffany's
box and took out her ring.
"Did you least expect it?"
"Yes." Assumpta rushed the words, "And yes I'll marry you."
He whined, "But I haven't even asked yet."
Assumpta put her hands on her hips and gave him a look, "Well, hurry
up."
"Will you marry me?" Peter stood and slid it on her finger as she said
again, "Yes." Niamh and Brendan started to applaud and the whole pub
joined in and the party that night at Fitzgerald's went well into the
morning hours.
*The End*