Chapter 10:  Peter Clifford's Journal   (1999)

by Jen Jolley

 A Wedding and a New Beginning

W-Day 2 January 1999

Although I didn't intend to write tonight, the opportunity has come up while Ali's in the shower. I want to record everything so I don't forget a single detail. When Ali saw this journal the other night, she said she wanted me to keep it up. She enjoyed reading my very first journal from BallyK that I gave her to read. It's where I recorded my first impressions of the village and it's inhabitants.
 
She said that she'd love to read my other journals as well, but only if I'm relaxed about it. She now wants to meet Brendan, Quigley and the rest of them. She accused me of exaggerating when I wrote about what Liam and Donal got up to. She said nobody could bungle so many jobs and still stay employed. Ali also thinks that priests such as Fr. Mac should be sent back to the seminary regularly for retraining. I think she's in for a shock if she does get to meet them.
 
Our special day went very smoothly. It was warm and sunny but not too hot. Alison rang me this morning to see how I was. I found out that the girls had a good time doing silly things, but they didn't stay out late either. However Sarah was a bit worried about David, and rang Alison to tell her that he'd had woken up with a headache, so Ali was wondering how I was. I reassured her that Rick and I had been very careful last night, and I felt fine, but that a certain potplant may not be feeling that well.
 
David was OK by early afternoon. He collected Steve and I, and drove us to the church in plenty of time. It was strange participating in a wedding from the other side this time, especially when I could nearly recite the whole service off by heart.
 
The 20 minutes before Alison arrived felt like the longest of the whole ceremony. I caught Rick's eye while we were waiting, and he seemed to be saying, 'Hang on there, she'll be here soon, you know what women are like'. Steve was a great support too, whispering a few funny comments about people as they came in. It relieved the tension as we patiently listened to one of Alison's friends play a Mozart flute solo.
 
I exchanged smiles with Phyllis and John when they came in. "Won't be long now", Phyllis squeezed my arm as she whispered in my ear. The organist struck up Bach's 'Allegro from Brandenburg Concerto No. 4. The music was both soothing and exciting, but it didn't diminish my anxiety.
 
I felt time was finally moving on when Lorraine was escorted to her seat by Ben, who was one of our ushers. The organist had now begun to play 'Air' from Handel's water music, our last piece before Ali arrived. However, the organist seemed to be repeating it. Was there some delay? I looked across to where Rick was standing, but he didn't seem concerned.
 
Just as I discretely checked my watch for the umpteenth time, and was wondering if the battery was going flat, the organist struck up the "Trumpet Voluntary", (also called 'The Prince of Denmark's March'). I looked over my shoulder and felt my legs turn to jelly when I saw HER on Geoff's arm. She was silhouetted against the light coming through the stained glass window above them. They were framed by the arched entrance and made a stunning picture as they stood there for a moment. I think our photographer may have recognised the beauty of the moment too, and captured that shot.
 
There was a lump in my throat as I watched her walking towards me on Geoff's arm, and the music built up to its climax. Alison
looked absolutely stunning; I don't know who was more proud, Geoff or myself.
 
Little Chloe, in a long white frock and carrying a basket of flowers, was in front; but I was only vaguely aware of her. I swallowed with difficulty, and tried to smile as I could see Alison now, although her face was partly blurred by the transparent veil. The whole effect was ethereal. Her dress was off the shoulder, with some type of lace trim around the neckline. With the veil, the dress fell into a long train behind her. I'm so glad she found something so stunning for this special day. I could feel tears welling up, and swallowed hard.
 
Sarah and Fiona followed behind, in dresses similar to Alison's, but in the same blue colour as the men's shirts. These details I only noted later, because at the time I only had eyes for my bride. When Alison came level, she looked across and smiled. My legs were having trouble holding me steady, and nearly gave way from under me. I felt a pain in my chest; so deep were my emotions at that moment, as the tumultuous music died away.
 
"Who gives this woman to be married in Holy matrimony?" Rick asked in a clear voice.
"I do", Geoff replied proudly, and he laid Ali's hand on mine, then sat down in the front row next to Lorraine.
I squeezed Ali's hand gently as it lay on my arm, and I could feel all her love radiating towards me.
 
The ceremony continued in the time-honoured tradition of most English speaking churches. I promised to take Alison Jane Gibson to be my lawful wedded wife, to love, honour and cherish her….. She promised to take me,  … 'til death do us part.
 
When I lifted her veil, her eyes shone with love and happiness, as I'm sure mine did too. We kissed briefly, then proceeded into the sacristy where we signed the necessary legal documents, and had them witnessed by our attendants. While we were doing this, two friends from Alison's band sang 'Amazing Grace' and 'Ava Maria'. We could hear them clearly from where we were. It was all very beautiful and yet seemed to pass as if in a dream. I'll never hear either song again without reliving those moments.
 
Rick's homily was short but to the point. He advised us to never go to sleep on an argument or in anger; to be open and honest with one another, and to always put each other first, ahead of work and other commitments. Then it was all over. It's a lot of pomp and fuss, but that's what makes it special. I can't remember everything about the actual ceremony. I'm glad we agreed to have someone video it so we can see it all again later.
 
Ali took my arm as we turned around to face a sea of smiling faces. We slowly proceeded back down the aisle to the triumphant strands of the traditional "Wedding March" from A Midsummer Night's Dream by Mendelssohn. I could see the smiling faces of all the friends I'd made over the last months, as well as Alison's relatives and others. They were all clapping and wishing us well. The rest of the party followed as the organ switched over to the lively sounds of 'Toccata' by Widor. I really missed you terribly at that moment, Mum. I wish you and Dad could've been here to share this special time with us. That's probably the only cloud on this perfect day. I'm so thankful Steve was able to make it.
 
We stopped at the top of the church steps, to give those who wanted to, the opportunity take some photos. I was so full of happiness, I would've agreed to anything. I felt very emotional at the same time; I couldn't quite believe it was all really happening to me. As we moved down the steps, some girls from Alison's class lined up and formed a Guard of Honour. It was a lovely gesture, and I'm glad we organised to have a couple of photos taken with them.
 
Two white cars decked out in ribbons drove up in front of the red carpet that had been rolled out for the occasion. I helped Alison into the back of the first one as cameras flashed. I then helped Chloe into the front, making sure her seatbelt was carefully adjusted, before joining Alison. Fiona gave the little girl some last minute advice about behaving properly, then we were off. Behind us the other attendants were getting into the second car, which then followed us to the reception.
 
It was nice having a few moments to ourselves. I told Alison how much I loved her, and how gorgeous she looked. She said that I looked OK too. We both agreed that the ceremony had gone off very well. We laughed at how our littlest attendant had started to get bored during the homily and turned around to ask Fiona how much longer. Actually she'd been very good, and at the time we were talking, she was busy chatting up our driver (Alison's Uncle Jack) to make sure he knew where we were going.
 
The drive didn't take long. The rest of the bridal party was in the car behind us, with the photographer following close behind them. This time we had photos taken in the garden, while our guests were being served hors d'oeuvres and drinks in the shade of a large Manchurian pear tree. Again, a lot of fuss, but I know the day will come when we'll look back on today, and be glad we have a good record of it all.
 
Soon it was time to circulate amongst our guests. As most were Alison's friends and family I followed her around. In some cases I was meeting them for the first time, so it gave Ali the chance to introduce me.
 
At about 5.30pm it was time for us to sit down and be served a simple seafood entrée. From our position on the front table we could see all our guests. There was a general buzz of happy conversation as people were settling down and being looked after.
 
Between courses we circulated and tried to make sure we spoke to every guest. All too soon it was time for the speeches. John had agreed to be MC, and in many ways he was the ideal choice. He has the ability to keep proceedings rolling along smoothly, and is able to talk well and hold everyone's attention. Also with Phyllis, he's the person who knows both Alison and myself longer than most. He spoke very briefly about his relationship to our family, and described the first time he'd met Stephen and I; when we'd come home together from Primary school, while he was visiting our home. He's known Alison nearly as long, and was able to relate a few funny incidents from her early days.
 
It was then over to Geoff as the host, and he told a few stories from the Gibson's point of view. After dessert it was over to Steve, and of course being a professional entertainer, was able to keep the 'audience' amused with quite a few stories of what we'd got up to as children. He told of how he'd first heard about Alison, and made a joke about how fast our relationship had developed. He then read out a number of messages from people who'd been unable to come. They included some from a number of our relatives in England, as well as a couple of Alison's friends who were away. Steve then proposed a toast to Alison and I, to which I responded in the usual way.
 
While listening to all the messages of good will that were sent to us, I wished I had contacted Brendan and Michael Ryan in BallyK. I just hadn't been able to bring myself to do it. I don't know what they'd think about me getting married now. Maybe it's better to tell them in person next year. I could write to them and let them know I'm in Australia first, then later I could tell them my other news.
 
After the speeches were finished, it was time to cut the cake. Alison's aunt had done a brilliant job in decorating it. She'd matched her decorations to the flowers the girls carried, and had successfully captured the colours of the girl's frocks in the ribbons that cascaded down from the top tier.
 
The final cake consisted of three heart-shaped cakes of different sizes. The smallest one was at one end, standing on four tall pillars. It's ribbons flowed down to the second one that stood on four shorter pillars. It too had ribbons that spread elegantly over the largest cake, which was at the bottom. The whole effect was of a waterfall rippling downhill. A lot of the guests were very complimentary. Auntie Susan beamed with pleasure when people came over to congratulate her on her work. There's no doubt what we wished, as we pushed the ribbon-clad knife into the cake together.
 
Some of the tables were moved to the side then, and the band that had been playing quietly in the background earlier, started up a Bridal Waltz. I took Alison into my arms, and hoped that Steve and David wouldn't take too long to join us. In a short while the whole floor was full of dancing couples. I smiled at Alison and told her again how much I loved her. I felt that it would be impossible to be happier than I was at that moment with Alison in my arms.
 
I was amused when the band's singer started to sing the 1960's song, 'The wedding'. I haven't heard it for years. It goes something like:
 
          You by my side that's how I see us,
          You by my side happy and smiling
          We're on our way to say I do;
          My secret dreams have come true.
 
          I see us now, you're hand in my hand,
          Your folks and mine, happy and smiling,
 
          I see the church, I see the steeple
 
I can't remember all the words correctly, but it was a nice choice of song. She later continued with a medley of songs from 'West Side Story', including "Tonight", "One hand, One Heart", "I Have a Love" and "Somewhere". It was all very romantic and added something special to this day.
 
After the official dances were over, we moved to one side, and with Fiona and Sarah's help we unwrapped all the gifts we'd been given, being very careful to attach all the cards to the appropriate gift. Lorraine and Phyllis have promised to look after them for us until we get back from our honeymoon.
 
At about 8.30 or 9 o'clock we felt the time was right for us to leave. We'd changed into some casual clothes, leaving our wedding finery behind for Lorraine to mind. Sarah had picked up a packed 'Henrietta' from my house this morning, and had driven her out to the Gibson's where Alison had added her things. She was now standing ready to take us from our reception on our honeymoon.
 
We weren't at all surprised to find the words 'Just married', written over her in shaving cream. I wiped it from the front window for safety reasons, and decided to remove the rest when we'd got a bit further away. We climbed in and waved to everyone as we started to drive off. There was a terrible clanking noise which gave us both a fright, until we realised what it was. We both laughed when we saw that carefully hidden beneath the car had been a number of empty tin cans. Very original!!!! They were tied together, so we decided to drive down the road and then remove all the incriminating evidence before we hit the city streets.
 
Once on the open road and away from the festivities, I got out my trusty pocket knife and proceeded to cut all the strings that had attached the clattering tins to the rear of the car. Alison found an old towel and removed the rest of the shaving cream. When we were back inside I drew her in my arms.
"Well that’s it then," I said, as I kissed her gently on the forehead.
“It's too late now to change your mind," I informed her.
She squeezed my arm and suggested we get away to our destination quickly, before any guests left and decided to follow, or try something else. I hadn't thought of that.
 
I'd booked the Bridal Suite in one of Canberra's large hotels. We'd both just packed a small bag for tonight, so that we could leave our main luggage undisturbed in the car. We'd reasoned that it saved unpacking everything for only one night.
 
The hotel was very wasn't far away. We drove up to the front entrance where the doorman welcomed us, and took the car keys, passing them onto a driver to park our car. We were directed to the reception area, and 10 minutes later found ourselves in our room. It was very nice, with a balcony that faces east, and gives a fantastic view across the city.
 
We'd had more than enough to eat and drink. All we both wanted was to go to bed, and eventually to sleep. Alison sat patiently while I carefully pulled out numerous pins that had held parts of her hair in place. I really enjoyed this task. Her hair is so fine and beautiful, and to handle it like that gave a warm sense of intimacy.

(Continued Next Morning)

While I was in the shower last night, I heard Alison squeal. I turned the water off and managed to grab a towel to see what was
wrong. She was standing in the middle of the room, holding up her nightgown. Standing on the carpet she was completely surrounded by a sea of confetti that had been carefully hidden inside the garment. Hopefully the cleaners will be understanding tomorrow; but anyhow by then we should be well away.
 
A few minutes later when Alison tried to put the garment on, she found that it had been carefully sewn up across the bottom with tiny stitches in the same coloured thread. I could see that she was upset. I tried to reassure her that she didn't need to put anything on anyway, as it would only be on for a few minutes, and it wasn't exactly cold. I could see that she'd gone to a lot of trouble to chose something beautiful and special to wear, so I did understand her disappointment. We laughingly agreed that we now had a few months to try and come up with something even better, to repay Sarah with.
 
I just want to end by telling you that making love in a luxury hotel is just as wonderful as in our own home. Knowing that we can finally sleep together every night for the rest of our lives is just fantastic. Assumpta once asked me, “Do you ever want what you can’t have?” At the time there was one thing I particularly wanted, which was completely out of the question; her of course. I was never able to have her in that way, but now I have everything I could possibly have wished for, and more. I don't think a day will go past that I don't thank God for the way I've been so richly blessed.
 

Sun, 3 January

I don't think I'll ever live down the faux pas I made this morning. I'm still cringing and feeling very embarrassed as I write it down now; although I expect that one day I'll be able to laugh about it. I still don't know how I never noticed it. I don't use my credit card very often, so I suppose I just didn't notice the error.
 
It was nearly 8 o'clock when I got up this morning. I must've been tired because I didn't hear Ali getting up half an hour earlier. By the time I woke, she was just stepping out of the shower.
 
"Good morning", she said brightly as she came over. "I was going to suggest a swim before breakfast, but you looked so exhausted, I thought I'd just have a shower instead."
"Hmmm. I can think of something even better than a shower to wake me up," I replied, beckoning her over. We snuggled up together and discussed what we should do. As we had a long drive ahead of us, having already booked this hotel in
Melbourne, the sensible thing was to get up, have breakfast and head south as soon as possible. There was no point in hanging around Canberra any longer.
 
With such a fantastic view from the balcony, we couldn't waste it. So we ate breakfast while watching the early morning activities on the lake. After that it didn't take us long to pack our small bags and ride the lift down to the reception where we had to settle our account.
 
I handed over my credit card without giving it any thought. I was a bit puzzled when the receptionist who took it, looked at it twice, then glanced at me before passing my card to her colleague.
"Is there something wrong?" I asked, wondering if I'd missed an expiry date or something.
"No, not really, Father." She replied as she scanned it. She was grinning as she handed the card back to me. I almost snatched the card out of her hand, and looked at it.
"Oh, no." I exclaimed as I saw the title 'Fr. Peter J. Clifford' with my new correct address below it. "It's a mistake", I tried to explain. My face was bright red, and felt flushed, as if I had a raging fever.
"I…..I'm not a priest", I started.  "I…I've just got married," I implored, "..to my wife here".
Alison was no help. She was unsuccessfully trying to hold herself in check, but was nearly doubled over with mirth.
 
I caught sight of Henrietta who'd been brought up for us.
"I see our car is ready", I said with as much dignity as I could muster. I started to direct Alison out. "Thank you very much for a
lovely stay," I threw over my shoulder at the amused couple behind the counter, as I ushered Ali towards the car. I was trying to make our getaway as quick and unobtrusive as possible under the circumstances.
 
"I think this beats all the stories we heard yesterday, Peter," she said, grinning from ear to ear once we were safely in the car.
"Yeah, I know, and you're going to make sure everyone hears about it, aren't you?" I said sheepishly.
"Well, what are you going to give me not to tell?" she asked, still laughing.
"I'll think of something before we get back," I replied.
 
I thought about it a lot during the long drive south. I'd checked the new card carefully to make sure the address was correct, but I’d obviously missed that they hadn't changed 'Fr' To 'Mr'. The worst thing about this mistake is that I might have even further damaged the reputation that priests have at the moment in some people's eyes. Will I ever be able to throw off all this baggage I still carry with me from my previous vocation? Maybe no-one ever does. I suppose, if I'm honest with myself, there's a lot of experience I gained by being a priest that I wouldn't like to have missed. Things that have made me who I am, that I wouldn't want to change.
 
The rest of the day passed without any further incidents. It was a long drive, made a lot more enjoyable by having Ali's company. Most of the 700km was through gently undulating pastoral countryside. Being mid-summer, the grass has all dried off to a pale straw colour, and there are warnings everywhere to be careful not to start any grass or bush-fires.
 
We ate lunch on the banks of the Murray River, on the Victorian / New South Wales border. This river is the largest river of
Australia's largest river system. It was lovely being able to relax together in each other's arms, just contemplating our future together. The last 300km of the journey was all freeway, so we reached Melbourne about late afternoon.
 
Even with air conditioning, it was still a warm drive, so we decided to go for a refreshing swim in the hotel's pool, before dinner.
When we carefully open our cases, being better prepared than last night, we found more confetti. We shook out as much out as we could onto a newspaper. I think all these little coloured circles will be around for awhile to remind us of our wedding and our 'kind' friends.
 
The hotel's pool was in a pleasant, but artificial setting. There were palm trees planted in large tubs, in an attempt to create a tropical atmosphere. However the water felt cool, and after sipping some delicious cold tea we revived and decided to explore outside the hotel for our evening meal. I felt quite confident and at home here, having been in the same part of Melbourne only a week ago with Steve.
 
When we were ready, I caught sight of both of us in the large mirror. I'd never appreciated how well matched we were. I think we make a very nice couple together, and I felt very proud of my wife. Ali looked stunning in a short cherry red dress, with a transparent black shawl draped loosely across her shoulders. She'd swept her blonde hair back and held it in place with a matching clasp. I thought her lovely appearance warranted an especially nice restaurant to show her off, so I chose the same one Steve and I had gone to last week.
 

Day 2, Mon. 4 January

We spent this morning traipsing around the 'Southgate' area, seeing some of the things I hadn't seen with Steve. We explored the renovated docklands area, and inspected the old iron barque, the "Polly Woodside" which was rescued from rusting away in one of the abandoned wharves about 20 years ago. She was built in 1885, and made 16 voyages around Cape Horn before being used extensively in Australian waters. Today the ship is the main exhibit of Melbourne's Maritime Museum.
 
After lunch we took a relaxing cruise on the Yarra River, that has been described by some, as a river that flows upside down. This is due to the large amount of sediment it carries sometimes. From our boat we saw what is reputed to be the busiest trading Port of the southern hemisphere, the historic Victoria Dock.
 
Later we travelled upstream, where we could see the Royal Botanic Gardens, and a number of famous sports grounds including the National Tennis Centre and Olympic Park, the site of the 1956 Olympic Games. The flags of the MCG, where Steve and I had watched the cricket last week, were visible in the distance.
 
We finished the day by walking along some of the 'Melbourne's Golden Mile Heritage Trail' that links some of the city's key historic buildings. I still find it amusing how in this young country, anything over 100 years is considered old. There's almost nothing that's more than 150 years old.
 
For dinner tonight we chose the Colonial Tramcar Restaurant, which is a tram that takes diners on a three hour tour of Melbourne. While being presented with a very fine selection of food and wine, we were entertained by an interesting history of all we saw.
 

Day 3, Tues. 5 January

We spent the whole of today up in the Dandenong Ranges, which is on the eastern outskirts of the city. There were a number of large gardens to choose from, but we opted for a walk through the more natural William Rickets Sanctuary that Alison remembered seeing when she was a small girl.
 
The park consists of several hectares of native bushland with lots of exciting paths weaving through it. We were able to stroll
comfortably hand in hand, exploring the myriad of sculptures that appeared around every corner or bend. They were all of indigenous Aboriginals and native animals that had been created to look as if they were part of the natural surroundings. They seemed to grow out of the tree trunks and branches, or be part of the rocks that were scattered through out the park. It was very peaceful and cool on this hot day. Although the sculptures were manmade, they looked as if they'd always been there as part of the natural landscape.  We both sensed an atmosphere of spirituality there, and it had us conversing quietly in hushed voices in case we disturbed these spirits.
 
After a relaxing morning tea, we headed for the Belgrave Railway Station where the atmosphere was far from quiet. Ever since she had missed out as a child, Alison had always wanted to take a ride on the quaint little steam train Puffing Billy, that runs for fifteen kilometres from Belgrave to Emerald Lake.
 
So we joined hundreds of children and parents doing just that. The train travels at a snail's pace, as it winds around the hills, and crosses bridges that span deep gorges; blowing thick black smoke as it gathers steam to reach the top of some of the inclines. The panoramic views across the valleys below were terrific, as was the sight of the moist forest and wonderful fern gullies that we passed through. We had a late lunch at the lake, then rejoined the train for it to take us back to Belgrave.
 
It was a truly interesting day. We could easily have spent several more days here in Melbourne, but now we know that  there's lots more left for us to see whenever we return.
 

Day 4, Wed. 6 January

We left Melbourne behind today; driving west via the tall Westgate Bridge towards Victoria's second largest city, Geelong. It's less than an hour from Melbourne and lies on Corio Bay. On the way we passed a sign to the small town of "Little River", and we wondered if it had given rise to the name of the famous Australian rock band, "Little River Band".
 
Our plan was to drive along the 230 kilometre length of the famous Great Ocean Road. This road was started in 1919, to give work to the many ex-servicemen who'd returned from the First world War without jobs to go back to. It was quite a feat, and took them ten years to complete.
 
The road hugs the cliffs as it snakes along the southern shores of the continent. Our tourist brochure described it as "one of the
premiere coastal experiences in the world", and after driving along it today, I have to agree. The road starts at the town of Torquay, near the world famous Bell's Beach, which is on the international surfing circuit. It hosts a large competition every Easter, and is also home to the "Surfworld Museum", which claims to be the largest surfing museum in the world.
 
The road continues on through Angelsea, to Airey's Inlet, an old settlement that was nearly completely destroyed in the Ash
Wednesday bushfires in 1983. Along the whole section of this road we were rewarded with spectacular scenery and marvellous views across the ocean. At Lorne we stopped for lunch at one of the small cafes that are surrounded by numerous boutiques. Being the busy summer holiday season, all these shops were well patronised, so we weren't sorry to leave them behind, and continue on our journey west.
 
After lunch the road became very windy, but the magnificent views continued. Thankfully there were lots of lookout spots where we could stop to savour the views and take photos. We stopped overnight at Apollo Bay, which was first established as a whaling base. After finding our motel, we had enough time for a drive through the Melba Gully State Park to admire the 300 year old Mountain Ash eucalypts. We followed the directions for a short walk, that took us through the lush rain forest. Some of it consisted of a raised board walk and viewing platform where we discovered evidence of the glow worms that live in the forest.
 

Day 5, Thurs. 7 January

Today we continued on westwards on the same road, although it wasn’t as spectacular and close to the ocean as yesterday. We stopped for lunch at Port Campbell National Park, where we viewed "The Twelve Apostles". They are the famous offshore 'stacks' that were left standing after the softer rock was eroded away by wind and wave action. After we'd photographed these spectacular formations, we drove further along this rugged coastline that's been responsible for at least 25 shipwrecks.
 
At Loch Ard Gorge we climbed down the steep cliff steps and saw where in 1878, the clipper "Loch Ard" was wrecked, killing all except two survivors. A well known landmark there is 'London Bridge', which was a double arch until 1990, when the second arch broke off, leaving only a stack on the end. A tourist climbing on the arch at the time, was lucky to have been able to jump to safety on the land side, just before hundreds of tonnes of rock fell into the sea.
 

Day 6, Friday 8 January

We arrived in the South Australian regional city of Mt. Gambier last night, having put our watches back half an hour to Central
Australian Time. This region is reputed to have 94 extinct volcanoes, of which Mt. Gambier is one. The city is built on the side of this volcano that exploded about 6000 years ago. The explosion left four distinct craters, the largest containing the much photographed "Blue Lake", which is 75 metres deep, with its steep sides being another 80 metres above the water line.
 
This lake is the city's water supply, and it maintains the same water level even in times of drought. For many years the lake was
claimed to be 'bottomless', and all sorts of myths circulated. What still isn't certain is the exact scientific explanation of its bright blue colour. In fact even today, when the sky was a bit hazy and clouded over, the water remained a brilliant blue. Over dinner, we were told that the blue colour fades over about a week in late March or April. In winter the lake is a clear grey colour, but in October, again over about a week, the blue colour slowly returns, becoming the same brilliant blue colour we saw today.
 
We spent the afternoon exploring examples of another geological feature that this region is famous for; the limestone caves and
sinkholes. In the centre of the town, is a beautiful grotto garden that is built inside an old sinkhole that formed when a limestone cave collapsed. There are a number of these natural sunken gardens in the town. They are a popular site for outdoor weddings, giving all the guests (and any tourists who happen to be visiting), an excellent view of the proceedings.
 
The whole region is either volcanic or original limestone. In fact most older public buildings, as well as many private homes, are built of this attractive white stone that's quarried here.
 

Day 7, Saturday 9 January

Being exactly the middle of our holiday, we sent off a number of postcards last night. I'm really enjoying this holiday so much more now that I have Alison to share it with. We had intended to travel further north, to see another world famous National Park, The Coorong, where the film "Storm Boy" and a number of others were set. However, we've decided not to rush around, and instead to leave this part of Australia for another trip. Instead, we spent another day exploring this very fertile corner of the driest state in the driest continent on Earth. In contrast to the rest of South Australia, this region is cool with a high rainfall and very fertile land.
 
We started the day by climbing Mt. Schank, another extinct volcano that has only one main crater and a small side vent. It's nearly a perfectly shaped cone, with steep sides; standing out nearly 100m above the flat the grazing land that surrounds it. It was quite an energetic climb. Afterwards we drove another 10 kilometres further on to the little fishing village of Port MacDonnell. Here we had morning tea, sitting in a sheltered spot on the foreshore looking out over the Southern Ocean. It was strange to think that there was only thousands of kilometres of water between us and Antarctica.
 
When we left the village, we drove inland where were discovered the Tantanoola Caves. Here we joined a small tour group, and spent a pleasant hour being shown stalagmites, stalactites and other attractive calcite formations that have gradually formed here over millions of years. This cave is one of a number in the region, but it's interesting because its entrance has been carefully lowered, so that people confined to wheelchairs are able to come in and experience what's usually denied to them in most other caves.
 
We finished the day in the world famous winegrowing region of Coonawarra, which is only 50 kilometres north of Mt. Gambier. We decided to stop at a small family winery and have our dinner there. The food was delicious, and the wine excellent. Fortunately we'd found suitable accommodation at an adjoining B&B, so we could indulge without having to worry about driving home.
 

Day 8, Sun. 10 January

This morning we attended early mass in the nearby small town of Penola; in the same church where Australia's first saint, Mary
MacKillop would have worshipped. Then we pointed our faithful Henrietta east and started heading towards home. It was only about 15 kilometres back to the Victorian border, then another 250 Km to our destination, Ballarat, which is Victoria's third largest city.
 
We planned to spend our afternoon in the well-known folk museum "Sovereign Hill". It's been set up on the site of some original gold diggings, and allows people to experience life as it was in the gold rush era of the 1850's.
 
It's bigger than any other folk museum I've ever seen, and was of a very high standard. All the volunteers and employees walk around in period costume. We joined a mine tour, then walked around the village where every building showed us something different. The blacksmith was working and making cast iron tools and ornaments. In another shop, candles were being dipped in beeswax in the traditional way. In the printers, posters could be ordered which were produced on the old printing press. Everything could be purchased, including handmade boiled sweets.
 
Constantly during the day, in different locations, there were re-enactments of miners being arrested or villains being chased by police dressed in the uniforms of the day. There were rides that could be taken around the village in the Cobb & Co. coach that was pulled by four horses.
 
For a small fee visitors could pan for gold in the stream that ran through the site. This was regularly salted with small flakes of the precious metal. I'd already seen how difficult this was, when the ex-rockstar Endo Sullivan had tried to find gold in the River Angel in BallyK, so I wasn't all that fussed, but Alison was really keen to have a go. For a few dollars we were given a metal pan and a small vial of water that we could put our small gold nuggets in. We did manage to separate out a few small flakes, so we now have a souvenir to take home.
 
We'd booked a package deal that included the evening program. So when the site closed at the end of the day, we found our hotel where we had dinner. Just before dark we returned, and were taken on a large trailer over the back of the site where everyone was entertained to a very informative sound and light production called "Blood on the Southern Cross". It told the infamous story of the miners uprising against unjust and corrupt administration here in Ballarat in 1854. This incident is usually referred to as the "Eureka Stockade", and Ali said that the story was part of every Australian child's education.
 

Day 9, Mon. 11 January

It was just over 100 kilometres to Melbourne, then another 140 kilometres around Port Phillip Bay to our destination, Phillip Island. This is one of two islands in Western Port Bay. The island is connected to the mainland by a bridge that's about a kilometre long. It's also a very popular summer holiday place and hosts the International Motor Cycle Grand Prix each October.
 
Our main interest was the island's wildlife, especially its Little Penguins and Fur Seals. We registered at our hotel, then taking our swimming gear and towels, we went in search of Summerland Beach. After booking to see the sunset 'penguin parade', we inspected the visitor centre and saw how these small creatures have adapted themselves to this unique way of life. We'd found out quite a bit from the website, but it was great to see the little creatures in real life. I was amazed how graceful and agile these little birds are in water, while on land they're clumsy and awkward.
 
We had a very refreshing swim at an adjoining beach, and watched the keen surfers repeatedly swim out and catch a wave back in. It looked like a lot of fun. After a shower and quick dinner, the sun was low in the sky, so we returned to Summerland Beach where hundreds of people were gathering for the daily 'penguin parade'. We were all seated in semi-darkness, on large tiered stands that faced the water, like fans waiting for an important football match to start. Ali and I sat closely huddled together, waiting in anticipation.
 
Just as the sun was almost set there was a hushed silence as first one, then a couple more little penguins emerged. They seemed
nervous at first; a few even ran back into the water. Immediately followed by a few more; but gradually in small groups, all along the 200 metres of the beach, hundreds or maybe even thousands of these quaint little birds left the safety of the ocean to negotiate the exposed beach which lay between the water and the safety of their burrows in the sand dunes.
 
They completely ignored the people in the stands. Large floodlights were turned on, but this didn't seem to distract them at all. After awhile, Ali and I decided to see where they were all going. So we left the stands, and walking on raised boardwalks over the sand dunes, we followed them to where there were hundreds of burrows hidden amongst the grass tussocks. Here we could see them being enthusiastically greeted by the young chicks that had been left behind early this morning. After feeding all day, they now disgorged meals of fish to their hungry chicks, much to the delight of the watching tourists.
 
The spectacle kept us entertained for over a hour. At dawn they'll repeat the process in reverse, as the adult birds leave their chicks and go out for another day of fishing. It's astounding to think this goes on every day, 365 days a year. This experience will definitely be a highlight of our holiday; almost on par with the evenings and nights we've share together.
 

Day 10, Tues. 12 January

This morning we explored the small historic Churchill Island that's connected to the main Island by a bridge. We spent an hour
walking amongst the majestic 300 year old moonah trees that surround the old homestead. There were a number of old buildings open, that showed the changes that had occurred in the region over nearly 200 years of farming.
 
After lunch we joined a boat tour that took in some of Western Port Bay and Seal Rocks. It was very pleasant being out on the water on a hot day. The boat took us close to the rocky outcrop that is home to about 6000 Australian Fur Seals. The rocks are a couple of kilometres offshore, but we were able to view them very clearly from our vantage point on the water.
 

Day 11, Wed. 13 January

We left Phillip Island this morning and took a 10 Km detour so that we could visit the "Wildlife Wonderland" at Bass. Our main interest was the Giant Earthworm Museum that explained about these large unusual invertebrates. They are about a metre long, and are  found only in this part of South Gippsland and no where else in the world. In fact their total habitat consists of an area that is approximately 25 Km radius from the small town of Loch. Other animals that were on display included the common kangaroo, emu and wallaby, as well as wombats, koalas, and a number of colourful native parrots.
 
We spent the rest of the day driving eastwards towards our last destination. First we passed through rich pastoral country, but later this gave way to lush tall rainforests and fern gullies. We are staying in Mallacoota, a small isolated, and relatively unspoiled small settlement on the extreme east of Victoria. Here we're going to enjoy two lazy and idyllic days of R&R, before heading home.
 

Day 12, Thurs. 14 January

We are staying in a delightful little cottage that belongs to friends of the Taylor's. We arrived just before dark last night, and collected the key from neighbours who look after it for them. It's built on a small headland, about 200 metres from the beach. When we woke up this morning the view was unbelievable.
 
The cottage has everything we need. The living area has large windows on two sides. One facing west looks over the Bottom Lake which has a number of islands like Rabbit and Goat Island. The larger windows face south, and give a wide panoramic view of the mouth and the ocean, as well as the town and wharf. On the distant horizon the small Gabo Island is just visible, although its lighthouse makes it more obvious at night.
 
After breakfast we went into town to reconnoitre and buy some supplies. We enjoyed a pleasant walk around the small town, and booked a boat cruise of the lakes and river for tomorrow. We came back to collect our swim wear and spent the next few hours just relaxing on the beach together. There were a few other families and young people around, but considering it's the height of the summer holiday season here, I'm amazed how quiet it is. It was lovely to just sit together and talk about everything and anything. I'm finding it just so great to have Alison's company all the time. It sure beats the loneliness of being a priest.
 
In the late afternoon we were feeling more energetic; so we put on our walking shoes and comfortable clothes and took the 5 Km nature trail that weaves around through the bush that surrounds the town. Ali warned me to keep my eye on where I put my feet, and not to stray off the path. Even though I know about snakes now, it rather spoilt my enjoyment of the bush, wondering if around the next corner there could be a venomous snake waiting to pounce. When I said this to Ali, she offered to hold my hand (which was enjoyable). She assured me that a snake's first instinct is to flee, and it's only if it's cornered or trodden on that it might attack.
 
Thankfully we didn't see any snakes, although when a lizard rustled in the grass next to my ankle I jumped. We built up a good
appetite, which we did justice to at the local pub afterwards, before walking home, savouring the quiet atmosphere and mild weather.

Afterwards we sat together on the veranda with our coffee, and watched the lights of small fishing boats moving about on the lake below. In the distance the Gabo Island light was flashing out its rhythmic bursts over the sea, warning all shipping of where they were. Occasionally the light of an ocean going vessel moved slowly along the horizon, as it sailed on its way to far off destinations.
 

Day 13, Friday 15 January

We were on the wharf at 9 o'clock when our boat chugged up. There were about 20 people of all ages who climbed on board. We travelled up through the Bottom Lake, our skipper keeping to the left of the marked channel that indicated where it was deep enough to sail. He pointed out various little islands and told us amusing stories about how they got their names. Later we passed through a narrow gap and entered the Top Lake, where we pulled into the Gipsy Point jetty and took on a few more passengers.
 
At the end of this lake our vessel entered the Wallagaraugh River. We followed this for a number of kilometres, and watched a pair of Sea Eagles circling over head. The captain pointed out where they had their nest in a tall tree high above the water. When we reached the end of the navigable part of the river, the boat pulled into a small jetty where we all disembarked. While the passengers enjoyed a short walk through the bush, the captain and his assistant quickly lit a small fire.
 
We were all quite relaxed, walking along a sandy track when the person in the front stopped dead in his tracks. Naturally the next person nearly bumped into him, and started to say something when almost simultaneously we all saw it. Curled up on itself in a tight circle was a shiny black snake asleep in the sun. I put my hand on Ali’s arm to stop her. I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck standing up. What if it’s hole was on the other side of where I was standing?
 
I was really worried when one of the people just ahead of us stamped his foot hard on the rather soft sand. Nothing happened. He tried again. This time its head in the centre lifted up and looked straight at us. I’ll never forget the eyes, the forked tongue and the pinkish-red under belly. I was very conscious of the fact that there were about ten people banked up behind us, standing between us and safety. My heart was racing as I stood rooted to the spot, clutching Alison, not sure what to do next.
 
The snake took the initiative, and threw itself sideways into the grass and slithered away quickly. I walked back to the boat nervously, looking very carefully as we walked gingerly past the spot where the snake had been. It was a Red-bellied Black snake I was told; not one of the most venomous, but still quite dangerous.
 
 The smell of the steaks and sausages that were almost ready for us drew us back to the river bank like a magnet. Lunch was a
pleasant distraction from what for me was an unpleasant experience, although most of the Australians didn’t seem too fazed by having seen the snake. As well as the meat, there were bowls of fresh salad and plenty of slices of bread and tomato sauce. It was interesting to meet people from all over Australia who'd heard about this well-kept secret, and had come to enjoy the simple pleasures this small town offered.
 
After slices of various fresh melons and other fruit, billy tea and homemade cake, we returned back to the boat and sailed home the way we'd come, arriving back about mid-afternoon. As we'd had a big lunch, Ali and I decided to have dose on the beach, then a swim to wake us up. A few hours later, feeling refreshed, we took another walk; this time along the beach and around a rocky headland to where a river emptied into the sea. Here local families with small children were relaxing, while their offspring paddled safely in the shallow water. A truly idyllic location, and one I'd like to return to whenever we need a break.
 
For the last night of our honeymoon we opted for a romantic dinner on board a different small boat that took us slowly around the two lakes while we ate our way through a meal fit for a king. The moon was full and reflected off the still water like a shimmering ribbon. The trees on the banks could be seen as black silhouettes against a purple sky. The Gabo Island lighthouse flashed out its warning across the ocean, lighting up the various small islands in the bottom lake as its light swept past. We could hear the pounding of the massive waves breaking on the ocean shore in the distance. The sound was in contrast to the peace and silence of the lake that we sailed on, and the quiet restful background music that played for the diners.
 
I’d noticed a young man at a near by table who seemed to be taking a special interest in us. He was with an elderly couple. Ali had her back to him, so hadn’t noticed, but I was starting to feel uncomfortable. He had been staring at us for the last half an hour and it was rather unnerving. Ali particularly seemed to be holding his attention. I finally mentioned it to her, and when she turned around she obviously recognised the man as she went as white as a sheet.
 
“What’s wrong, Sweetheart?” I asked anxiously.
“Oh, just a creep I knew years ago.” She replied tersely.
I didn’t want to upset her more than she was already, but wanted to comfort her. I wondered why seeing him upset her so much. I took her hand and squeezed it gently.
“I love you.” I told her with a smile.
She returned my smile, but it was obvious that seeing the young man had spoiled the evening for both of us. Thankfully it was our last night in Mallacoota.
 
When we were leaving the boat the young man stepped towards us.
“Alison, how nice to see you.”
“Hello Mark,” she replied quietly.
“Well, aren’t you going to introduce me?” he asked nodding towards me.
“Mark Bennett,  Peter Clifford” she introduced us briefly. We shook hands. I noticed that she kept her left hand with her wedding ring by her side. The older couple he was with hung back and seemed to ignore us. They were not introduced. I was dying of curiosity.
“Would you like to come and have a coffee with us? For old times sake." He asked, indicating the couple who were still hovering in the background.
“No, I don’t think so Mark. It’s late and we have to pack, we leave here tomorrow.” She cut him off.
 
When we came home, it was still quite balmy, and being our last night, we took a drink out onto the veranda where she told me all about it. While she was at Uni, she and Mark had been quite close. (Where had I heard that before? I felt a familiar sense of jealousy as she told me).
 
The couple Mark was with were his parents. They’d been the main cause of Mark and Ali splitting up. They’d interfered and done everything in their power to break the relationship up. In their eyes Ali wasn’t good enough, and they had someone else in mind for their son. Mail from Alison had been intercepted and phone messages weren’t passed on.
 
The final straw came when Mark wouldn’t believe her when she insisted that she had called back and had replied to his letters. She didn’t fight it when Mark suggested they break up. A few weeks later he was going out with the young socialite his parents had been foisting onto to him earlier.
 
At the time Ali was only young, and he was her first boyfriend. It had really dented her self esteem for ages. “Well Mark’s loss has been my gain”, I told her as I drew her into my arms. I tried to show her in my best way possible how much I loved her, but the romantic evening I'd planned had been somewhat spoilt.
 
We sat together on the large seat outside on the veranda and reminisced about our last two weeks. We recalled what we'd seen and experienced, and wondered what the future would hold for us. Now that I know so much about her early life, Ali wants to see where I grew up in England, as well as the University and seminary. She wants to go to the church in Manchester where I started as a priest, and visit Ballykissangel where I spent some of the happiest (until now), and very worst days of my life. Ireland was in hindsight a life-changing experience for me, and Ali is very keen to see it for herself.
 
It was so pleasant and peaceful sitting in each other's arms watching the various activities on the lake. I think I was able to recapture some of the joy of earlier, before we met Mark. But to all good things must come an end. It's both sad and exciting to think that this time tomorrow we'll be home and starting the rest of our lives together.
 

Sat. 16 January

We left Mallacoota at about 10 o'clock after having packed up and loaded the car, and returned the keys to the neighbours. It had been a relaxing place. We hope to return again when we need a rest from the responsibilities that a family of teenagers will bring. Maybe sometime we'll even bring them here for a break from the routine of home.
 
Lunch was taken at a place that Alison said sold the best pies that she'd ever tasted. It was a quaint little bakery in a small village that's almost halfway between Mallacoota and Canberra. I have to agree that their pies were outstanding; with a delicious meaty filling and a crisp pastry crust on the outside.
 
It was about 2 o'clock when we pulled up in the driveway of our house. Home at last! The first thing we noticed was the garden. The lawn was green and trim, and all the garden beds had a fresh layer of wood chip mulch on them. This was to keep in as much moisture as possible, and stop it from evaporating in the dry heat. However, it also gives the impression of being neat and well tended. The plants were all flourishing and looked terrific. John and Phyllis had done a great job.
 
I unlocked the front door; then for the sake of tradition, lifted Alison up in my arms and carried her over the thresh-hold.
"Surprise", chorused a number of voices, as I put Ali down in shock.
"How did you know?" I asked in surprise.
After several comments about intuition and hearing us coming, they later owned up to having asked our Mallacoota neighbours to ring through when we left. So they were able to estimate fairly accurately when we'd arrive home.
 
Both families from Bundarra were there as well as Steve. I noticed that he'd acquired a good tan in the two weeks we'd been away. He told us that he'd spent a couple of days in Brisbane at the cricket. He'd missed seeing the 5th and last test in Sydney, which started on our wedding day. England lost that to Australia, so they weren't able to recapture the Ashes. So far every match he's been to, England has won, while those he hasn't been to, they've lost. He's beginning to believe that England only win when he's there to cheer them on.
 
He believes that his two days in Brisbane confirmed this. On Saturday 10 January he watched the first of the one day Carlton & United Series, in which England played Australia. It was a close match, and England won by only 7 runs. The next day was another day/night game, in which England played Sri Lanka. England won this too, this time by 7 wickets. Steve didn't follow our team down to Melbourne yesterday, and they lost to Australia. So now he's determined to watch them play again tomorrow in Sydney.
 
As well as the garden being neat and tidy, we found our cupboards had been stocked with many basic items, and there was a meal ready to be heated for our dinner. The floor was also now sanded and polished and looked terrific.
 
We had a pleasant afternoon tea together, organised by Lorraine and Phyllis. It gave us the chance to thank them again for our
wedding, their gifts and for getting our house shipshape. We also had the opportunity to tell them a little about our experiences over the last two weeks. However, it wasn't long before we were alone. It's great to be on our own, in our own home, with all the time to ourselves.
 

Sun. 17 January

Because Steve has only one week left in Australia, we'd arranged to spend the whole day together. At his suggestion, we drove to Sydney. On our long drive we were able to tell him more about the sights we'd seen, and the fantastic animals, like the penguins and giant earthworms, we'd come across. David & Sarah have also taken him out and shown him a lot of the things they'd shown me earlier, so I knew what he was talking about. I'm glad he's had such a good time, because he has a lot of work lined up as soon as he gets home.
 
We spent the morning enjoying a habour cruise, then the three of us spent the afternoon and evening at the cricket. It was another exciting ending, and again, as predicted by Steve, England won. He's almost becoming a pain about this 'have to be there or England will lose' story. He's determined to go to Melbourne on Tuesday to watch them play Sri Lanka there. It's his last chance before he flies home.
 

Mon. 18 January

Alison didn't feel well when she woke up this morning. I made her a cup of tea and brought it in to her, but she only had a few
mouthfuls. I felt her forehead but it didn't feel hot, nor did she look unwell in anyway. I suggested she stay in bed and relax, as there was nothing pressing for her to do. I wondered if she'd eaten something yesterday that didn't agree with her; but we'd eaten exactly the same, so that was unlikely.
 
Thankfully by lunchtime she was feeling much better, and so got up. I managed to get her to eat some light food, however by
dinnertime her nausea had returned. She said she couldn't face the idea of cooking food; that the mere thought of it made her feel worse. She had some sweet tea, but didn't feel like anything else.
 

Tues. 19 January

Ali felt sick again this morning, but insisted on getting up anyway. Rick dropped in during the morning and had a cuppa with us. He wanted to talk to us about helping with the parish Youth Group this year.
 
The group meets every Friday evening in the parish hall. It caters for all the teenage students, but for some activities breaks into two groups, according to age. Rick and Tony Blake have been the main organisers, with some mothers helping when female input is needed. Their first meeting for the year will be on the first Friday after school resumes in February. It'll be a BBQ, with the proposed program of activities for the term being put forward for the students' approval.
 
I explained to Rick that Ali wasn't feeling well at present, and described her symptoms, just a she came outside to join us. Rick looked at us both.
"You wouldn't be pregnant, would you?" he asked with a smile.
"I, …I don't know," she replied hesitantly. "I don't think so," she added unsure. "I'm feeling better now than I did when I got up."
 
Rick went on and explained that last year he and Tony had discussed the idea of putting on a Youth Group musical. It hadn't come off then, but there seemed to be strong interest amongst some of the young people to do it this year. He'd come to ask Alison if she would be willing to help train the singers. Ali said that she'd give it some thought, and mentioned that I'd produced a play in Ballykissangel. Rick's ear pricked up at that. I agreed that if Alison was involved on the music side, I'd help in some way too, but that we had to talk it over in the light of any foster children we might become responsible for in the future.
 
When Rick made his move to leave, we promised him that we'd give his request about the Youth Group and musical some more thought, and we'd let him know of our decision. However, he'd given us something else far more important to think about.
"Do you think it's possible then?" I asked Ali hopefully.
"I don't really know; but now I think about it, I think I'm overdue." She looked at me with a strange expression on her face. It was excitement, but mixed with fear and apprehension.
"Maybe I'd better get one of those kits from the chemist," she suggested. "I shouldn't be though. I've been taking precautions; …well all except that first time."
 
I was feeling quite excited and hopeful when Alison left to go down to the local shops. Before the wedding we'd discussed having children, and agreed to wait awhile before starting a family. We'd reasoned that it was best to get used to being married and the commitment of the foster children, before starting any of our own. However, deep inside I really want children, and I was secretly hoping that Ali was pregnant.
 
When she came home she took the box into the bathroom. I waited and prayed, while pretending to be reading the paper.
"Well?" I almost demanded when she emerged. "Show me."
"No need to."  She announced, looking both confused and incredulous. "I'm pregnant".
"Wow!  That's fantastic". I said as I ran over and hugged her. "We're going to be parents." I kissed her on the forehead.  "I'm going to be a real father. You're going to be a mother".
 
"You don't mind?" she asked, looking a bit worried.
"Mind? What do you think? No, of course not," I replied eagerly. "I'm thrilled. But I can see you're not. What's wrong, Darling?"
"It's not that," she insisted. "I just don't know what to think. It's all so unexpected. I thought we'd agreed to wait awhile."
"Yeah, we did," I replied, as I gently pulled her beside me on the couch. I drew her close and put my arms protectively around her shoulders; "but I think God must have other plans. I'm not really sorry though, are you?"
"No,  but it's all so sudden. I don't like feeling sick, and I think things are going to happen to me that I've got no control over."
 
I tried to reassure her that the nausea would go soon. I wish I'd taken more notice of Niamh's pregnancy now. All I remember is hearing Ambrose complaining about Niamh cooking strange meals like Tripe Casserole, and eating a curry in the middle of the night. I don't think I'll tell Ali about those, it may give her strange ideas to try out on me.
 
"When did you think we started this baby off then?" I asked her and couldn't stop myself from grinning.
"I don't think there's any doubt about that," she said. "It's got to have been that first time; the day we moved everything into the house. Since then I've been taking precautions."
"Hmmm." I responded as I pulled her closer and remembered that night. "It was a very special time, made even more special now." I gently eased the hair back from her face and kissed her on the lips.
 
Inside I was excited and thrilled, and I felt as if I was 10 feet tall, and so proud. I wanted to shout it to the wind. I ran my hands
through her beautiful hair, and caressed her face with my lips.  "I don't think I'm ready to start getting fat and ugly yet," she said sadly against my chest.
 
I thought of how radiant Niamh had been throughout her pregnancy. Siobhan too had seemed to bloom and looked years younger when she was pregnant. I told Ali about this, and assured her that she'll always look beautiful to me. I felt so ecstatic, and gradually I think I was able to transmit some of my excitement to her.
 
She looked up at me in a trusting way, and explained that it was just such a surprise. She hadn't expected it to happen so quickly and needed time to get used to this change that was happening to us. She did say that if I was happy about it, then she was too.
 
There's no doubt whatsoever how I feel about becoming a father. I really meant it when I told Siobhan that it was a special privilege that was not granted to everyone. At the time I'd felt so sad, thinking that as a priest I was one to whom this experience was denied. Now I find that we've been blessed yet again, in such a wonderful way. To think I was jealous of Ambrose when little Kieran was born; and now, only a few years later, it's my turn, I can't quite believe it myself yet. I remembered the predictions the old lady made at the Halloween party. Some of it is certainly coming true.
 
It's truly amazing. I've just heard on the radio that England has beaten Sri Lanka by 7 wickets in the cricket match there. Steve will be very pleased. It'll also reinforce his belief that England wins when he's there. I wonder how the team will do after he leaves on Saturday? England is now in the lead on points, although Sri Lanka has only played two matches so far.
 

Wed. 20 January

We went to the doctor today. He confirmed our test results, and gave Ali a thorough check up, and took down all our details. He pronounced Alison as 'fit as a fiddle', and estimated our baby to be due around the end of August, or very early September. He suggested Ali try to eat lots of small meals or snacks to reduce the nausea, and told us that sometimes something small eaten in the morning just before she gets up might help as well. So now I'll have to give her a sort of breakfast in bed every day.
 

Thurs. 21 January

Lisa moved in to our house yesterday. She was very excited when we told her our news. She and Ben have been going out, so it was natural to include her in the family get together we're having here tomorrow night. This is mainly to farewell Steve, who has to leave on Saturday get back to foggy, cold London for work. However, it's also a good opportunity to share our wonderful news with all the family.
 

Fri. 22 January

Everyone was thrilled when we told them our news. Ali has completely got over her initial shock, and is getting quite excited now too. When I told Steve, his face was a picture. He was completely dumbfounded, and I think I could've knocked him over with a feather. When he realised that his silence could be misinterpreted, he slapped me on the back and said that he'd be honoured to become an uncle. I pointed out to him that he had no choice in the matter anyway.
 
I think he was secretly a bit envious. I know he's good with children, and would make a great father. I hope he does something along those lines soon, when he gets back to London. I'd like to see him settle down with a family. It would be great for our children to have cousins of a similar age, even if they're on the other side of the world.
 
"You two certainly don't believe in letting grass grow under your feet," Geoff said, when we told them. We explained that we hadn't planned it that way, but nevertheless we were pleased now it had happened. Phyllis said that with all the knitting she'd done for Andrew and Maree, she'd now just keep knitting through the next winter for our baby. Maree has only about 2 months to go now before their baby is due.
 

Sat. 23 January

John, Phyllis, Ali and I took Steve to the airport this morning, and saw him off. It was sad to say goodbye, not knowing when we'll see him again. He did promise that he'd try to come out again after his little nephew or niece is born; if he can work his commitments out that way.
 
I think he had a good time, and also a well deserved and needed rest.  He's certainly managed to get a tan. I enjoyed the talks we had, and I think that in some ways we're closer now than at any time since I left home. I think no matter what we do, we'll always be able to pick up our friendship where we left off. I do hope he can manage to return again later this year.
 
Steve's not going to like it when he hears that England lost today's cricket match to Sri Lanka. It's really going to confirm his belief that they only win when he's there. England are still clearly ahead on points, but they have another 6 matches to play in the series; so anything can still happen overall in the series.
 

Sun. 24 January

We invited Rick to have lunch with us after mass today. We shared our news with him too, but he'd already guessed, and wasn't surprised. He was pleased when we asked him to make sure he didn't go away on holidays at that time, as we wanted to book him for the christening.
 
The parish Youth Group and the musical was our main topic of conversation after that. We agreed that Ali and I would help whenever we could with the Youth group, and we'd also help with the musical if Alison was well enough. Unfortunately the first meeting is on Ali's birthday, but I'll take her out on the Saturday night instead.
 

Mon. 25 January

This time next week school will be back for another year. Ali is still waking up feeling nauseous, but she's finding that to have a dry biscuit and a glass of juice before she gets up, helps a lot. She's then OK for most of the day, but feels bad again in the evenings. She didn't think it was funny when I suggested she was just trying to get out of cooking dinner.
 
Lisa has been a great help in this. She's enjoyed the freedom of being allowed to try out new recipes on us. We've set up a roster now, for her and I to share the cooking. Hopefully when Ali gets over all this, the three of us can all share the responsibility.
 
Rachel joined us for dinner tonight. She was very complimentary on Lisa's meal, so I hope this has given Lisa the confidence to try other things. Both girls are very excited about starting their final year of secondary school. Both want to work hard; and are hoping that they achieve a sufficiently high score by the end of the year that will allow them to get into their desired course at university.
 
Rachel wants to do commerce and accounting, which doesn't require as high a score as Law, which is what Lisa is thinking about doing.
 
We gave Lisa a choice of which bedroom upstairs that she wanted. We also let her choose her furnishings from what we had. She and Rachel had a lot of fun setting up the room how Lisa wanted it. Michael through his work was able to acquire an obsolete computer and monitor that they were about to throw out. So we've been able to give Lisa a computer in her own room.
 
We've also organised a second phone line for the modem so we can connect to the 'net'. My only concern now is how we're going to monitor its use. We may only connect up Ali's computer, which is in the study downstairs. That way we can control who's using it, for how long and for what purpose; chat or serious research.
 

Tues. 26 January

Today is a public holiday, and the last day before the teachers have to go back to work. The holiday is for 'Australia Day', the 211th anniversary of when the first fleet of convicts landed in Botany Bay. "Invasion Day" is what some Australian Aboriginals call it.
 
For our last day of freedom we joined Sarah and David and went down to the lake to enjoy the festivities there. We decided not to stay for the fireworks, but we did hear them, and saw many of those that went up into the sky from our house.
 

Wed. 27 January

It was "Back to School" for all the teachers, and back to work for me too. Thankfully Alison seems to be less nauseous in the
mornings now, although she still feels queasy in the evening around dinnertime. She is trying to eat lots of small snacks all the time, and that seems to help a little.
 
I went to visit Damian at home this morning. He looked OK, and said that he was looking forward to getting back to school next week; so that's an improvement. However, his puppy was limping quite badly, and Damian was worried about him.
 
It didn't take a lot of probing from me to find out that Benjy had been kicked by Damian's father when he came home drunk the night before. Damian showed me a bruise on his leg where his father's boot had connected with him as well, when he'd flown to the pup's defence. Damain had actually spent the night outside in the shed with the pup. His mother knew where Damian was, but didn't dare say anything to his father about it. Thankfully being summer, the nights are very mild at present.
 
I couldn't bear to see the pup in pain. When I was trying to see what the problem was I could see that there was something very wrong. Damian pours all his love into this little dog, and it means so much to him. I decided to pay the vet bill myself. After obtaining his mother’s permission, I took Damian and Benjy to the local vet. She confirmed that the dog’s leg was broken, and so set it in a plaster cast. We also made sure that the little fellow’s immunization was up to date.
 
I called Damian’s social worker at FACS (Family & Community Services) when I got back to the office. I let her know about my concerns for Damian’s welfare. She assured me that she’d call in on the family this afternoon, on the pretext that she was checking to see that their mother had everything in order for Damian and his sister to go back to school next week. She promised to check Damian’s bruise, adding that it might be grounds to have Damian removed from the family, at least for a short while.
 

Fri. 29 January

While at St. Patricks I heard that Jason has been up to some more serious mischief with his older brother. He’s been placed on a good behaviour bond, but his probation officer is concerned that Jason will just keep on offending while he is in constant contact with his brother, and under his influence. There's no moral guidance or positive role model from his parents, so Jason just seems to be following on in his father and brother’s footsteps.
 
We both agreed that Jason wasn’t a hardened criminal. He’s basically a good kid who could be steered in the right direction if he was able to be extracted from his present situation.
 

Mon. 1 February

The school students all returned to school today. When I arrived at Trinity college this morning, I was greeted by groups happily chatting about what they’d done in their holidays. Everyone was trying to catch up on 6 weeks of news in only 10 minutes. I felt sorry for children like Damian and Jason, whose families never seemed to go away together, or do anything different. I remembered our happy holidays together, visiting exciting new places, or seeing cousins who lived in other parts of England.
 
“How’s married life treating you, Mr. Clifford?” a cheeky senior student asked with a wink, as I stopped at my door, trying to find my key.
“Fine thanks Tom,” I replied with a smile as I found the key and unlocked the door. “I see the senior uniform suits you well”, I added as I noticed the new white shirt that’s worn only by the senior boys.
“Yeah, no more fooling around now; the next two years are it,” he replied amiably. “ Ah there’s Digger, see ya later;” and he was off to catch up with one of his mates.
Everyone I saw seemed happy, so that was a good start to the year.
 
I caught up with Damian later in the afternoon. He told me that he and his sister had spent the weekend at someone else’s house, and that they’d had a good time. This morning he’d been to court, but he was rather vague and unsure on what it had been about. Damian is very immature, in that he doesn't question things that affect his life. He generally just accepts what’s dished out to him without complaint.
 
When I rang Maureen the social worker, to find out what had happened I heard the full story. In the light of the bruises on Damian’s leg and the injuries to the pup, Damian’s father has been charged with assault. Meanwhile, Damian and Jane are in emergency foster care while their future is being decided.
 
I told her about what Ali and I were doing. We’d discussed Damian’s situation over the weekend, and had agreed to offer to take Damian as a foster child, if that was thought to be the best thing for him. Maureen seemed very pleased to hear of this, and said she’d get back to me. I suppose I’ll have to build a kennel now, I told Ali when I got home.
 

Wed. 3 February

Thankfully Alison’s nausea seems to be decreasing all the time. I’m relieved, because she was starting to lose weight, which isn't a good thing at this stage. She wasn’t looking forward to feeling sick for months, so we’re both very happy with this improvement.

We’ve borrowed some books on pregnancy and childbirth from the local library. I was reading one of them after dinner, and it's all just so exciting. At present the face and all the major organs are forming. It's still only 2cm long, but it can move now. We still have 7 months to wait, and it seems a long time off, but I suppose it will all pass very quickly. At the last minute Ali included a book of names with their origins and meanings.
 
It looks like Damian will be joining our family over the weekend. Ali and I sat down with Lisa tonight to discuss it. We worked out some rules and responsibilities regarding TV viewing, loud music, homework and chores, because it's possible we could end up with up to four foster children. That's the absolute limit Ali and I have agreed on, as we have four bedrooms upstairs, and we want to give each child their own space.
 

Fri. 5 February

After our tiring first week back at school, it is nice to have the weekend in front of us. I wished Alison Happy Birthday with breakfast in bed, but we still had to go to work. We're going to go out for dinner tomorrow night. We both attended the first Youth Group meeting for the year, taking Lisa and Rachel with us.
 
They seem to be a happy relaxed group of 20 to 30 young people aged from 12 to 18. Many knew Lisa and Rachel from school, so they were made welcome, and quickly felt at home and amongst friends. Rick introduced Ali and myself to those who didn't know us. He and Tony then proceeded to explain the suggested activities for the term, including the idea of a musical.
 
There were no objections to any of the activities, and the idea of a musical was popular with a number of them. It was agreed that the musical would be "Oonadatta", an Australian adaptation of "Oklahoma", and that auditions for the lead roles would be on Tuesday after school. The plan is for it to be presented on the last Friday and Saturday of term, before the holidays start. That gives us exactly 10 weeks.
 
Other activities the group agreed on include a visit to a local farm while they're shearing, with a hayride and BBQ to follow. There's also going to be a trivia night, games night, video night, a Putt Putt Mini golf visit and a trip to the Bowling Alley. Next week they're going to meet at the home of one of the group who has a swimming pool in their backyard. We're going to have party pies and pasties for dinner, and the devotional part is on video, organised by Rick.
 
We finished the evening with a short devotional message from Rick and a prayer. I was impressed how the group all accepted this routine, as I'd realised that not all the young people were members of this church. It appears many come with friends for the
friendship and fun of the activities. I pray that they'll all hear the message we try to bring to them in this unique and important pastoral situation.
 

Sat. 6 February

I spent the morning unsuccessfully trying to convert a large wooden crate into a kennel. By lunchtime, with a sore thumb due to the hammer missing the nail, and a bruised foot where the crated had jumped on it, I was not in a very good mood.
 
Ali tried to soothe me by suggesting we buy one. I told her we didn't have the money, and that we couldn't just go throwing money away like that, every time a foster child brought a pet with them. Benjy is just going to have to sleep in the laundry until we can fix something up outside for him.
 
When we went out for dinner, we suddenly realised that this was the last time that we could go out without having to organise a
babysitter, or some sort of supervision. We hadn't thought about this aspect of fostering before. Lisa went out with Ben tonight, but anyway at 17 we haven't had to worry about her.
 
My gift to Ali was a high 'choker' style necklace to wear with one of her favourite dresses. It's the sapphire blue dress that she wore when we went out to celebrate moving into this house. At the time Sarah had mentioned how attractive such a necklace would look with it. So I spent some time looking for just the right thing.
 
I'm glad she liked it. I asked her to wear that dress so I could give it to her before we went out. It looked terrific, and I felt proud of myself, having chosen it without any help. When a photographer came around looking to see if there was anyone who wanted their photo taken, I jumped at the chance to record the occasion.
"Before I get so fat that I can't fit into this dress anymore", Alison added.
 
Alison seems to have this thing about looking ugly when the baby starts to show. I can't seem to convince her that she'll look just as beautiful then. I've ordered a T-shirt for her to wear that has printed on the front in big letters "Not fat!  Baby in Production". I don't know if she'll actually wear it, but I hope she gets the message.
 
We've started discussing baby's names. At present we both like Timothy James (James after Dad of course), for a boy. Somehow, I think it's going to be a girl, but what worries me is that I might be unconsciously influenced by the predictions the old woman made on Halloween night. A few things she said that night have actually happened. I didn't take it seriously at the time, and I don't want to now.
 
Some of the names we're thinking about for a girl include Stephanie (for Stephen), Elizabeth (Lorraine's 2nd name), or maybe
Katherine or Kate after you Mum. We still have plenty of time, but it's fun tossing ideas around. I remember Niamh telling Assumpta that Ambrose wanted to name their baby after all the Nolan sisters. That was the baby they lost. I didn't tell Ali about that. I hope our baby will be OK.
 
We had a lovely evening. The food was delicious, and we were very relaxed. Alison looked almost radiant as she sat opposite me. We talked about all the things we don't seem to have time for at home. When we came home we had a special nightcap I prepared, then had a wonderful time together before we went to sleep.
 

Sun. 7 February

After mass I drove out to the emergency foster family where Damian has been staying. I collected him and Benjy and brought them home. When he came out with his bag, containing all his belongings, I was amazed how small it was.
 
In the car driving home, I explained where he'd be living. That there was Alison my wife (I still feel so proud when I say it), and Lisa who is also in foster care. I explained that he could walk to and from school each day, except when it was raining, when I'd drop him off.
 
He asked if we had any pets, and I told him that Benjy would be our only one. I raised a smile when I told him how come Benjy didn't have a kennel yet. I explained that Benjy would have to sleep in the laundry for a couple of nights, in a makeshift bed (cut down cardboard box), until we could fix up something else more permanent. He agreed that he wouldn't take Benjy upstairs to the bedrooms.
 
When we arrived, Damain was delighted to find that Rachel and Lisa had made some small wooden plaques that they'd hang on the bedroom doors. The one on Damian's door said "Damian's Room" and had a picture of a doleful looking dog on it. The one they'd made for Lisa's room had two small pictures. One was a drawing of a judges wig, the other a mortar-board. They illustrate Lisa's ambition to become a lawyer.
 
They've already found a picture of a bright red sports car to use if Jason comes to live with us. They also showed me an
advertisement for a brand of toilet paper. It features a small boy sitting on an enormous toilet. His pants are around his ankles, and he's concentrating on the job in hand. They're going to make it into a plaque for the toilet.
"Just so visitors know what's behind the closed door", I was informed.
I suggested they could make some to sell at the Bundarra Markets one Saturday.
 
Damian was very quiet over dinner, and said very little except when he was spoken to. He seemed a bit worried about how Benjy was settling in. We went out several times during the evening, and each time the little dog seemed quite happy. In fact, the weather being so mild, we've put Benjy's box outside under the eaves.
 
After dinner I sat down with Damian and explained our "rules". I told him how the one to two hours after dinner were generally for homework and study. I gave him two blank video tapes with his name on them, and explained that he could use them to tape any programs that he really wanted to see on TV. He could then watch them in his free time.
 

Tues. 9 February

Both Lisa and Rachel had indicated that they were interested in trying out for a part in the musical. In fact it was quickly obvious that Rachel has a lovely powerful voice, ideal for such a role. She won the female lead very easily. Lisa is in it too; in a supporting role and in the chorus.
 
The male lead went to Craig McKay, a senior student from Trinity College. Anyone who auditioned and didn't win a specific role will be invited to join the chorus, the dancers or help back stage.
 
Alison is in charge of all the singing. Pauline, one of the Mums, is going to play the piano for the rehearsals. Some of the older girls who are taking Dance as a subject at school, are going to organise the choreography in conjunction with Alison. Some fathers have been roped in to build the set, and Rick is incharge of the backstage crew. Tony is going to handle all the publicity and ticket sales, which leaves me to be the producer.
 
I had no choice in this after Alison had told Rick about my producing the play "Ryan's Mother" in BallyK a few years ago. I can't see the same problems I had then, with either the cast or myself happening again. Just to make sure of it, Alison and I are going to train a couple of people in each role in case a disaster occurs before opening night.
 

Wed. 10 February

We discovered today that Damian has quite a good singing voice. He came with us to the auditions yesterday, but was far too shy to do anything but watch. Alison has managed to talk him into joining the chorus, which is great, because we're short of boys. I think if it all goes well, it will be a tremendous boost to his self esteem. In fact, after Alison heard Damian's voice, she said later that she's going to try to organise a few solo spots for him, where he only has to sing one line or so at a time. She's going to train him at home until he's really confident, then see how he goes in the group.
 

Thurs. 11 February

Charlie, the father who's helping make the set for the musical, has knocked up a kennel for Benjy. He delivered it today. He's a builder by trade, so has lots of scrap timber lying around. He made the whole thing out of scraps he had at home. Damian was thrilled with it, and was disappointed that Benjy didn't seem to have the same enthusiasm for it. I told Damian to be patient; and suggested that Benjy would really appreciate it in winter. We're going to paint it this weekend. We'll then put some of the old carpet, that I saved from our house, inside.
 

Fri. 12 February

The weeks just seem to be rushing past, and it's Friday again. The Youth Group met at Sally's house tonight. She's Charlie, the
builder's daughter. They have a lovely house, and a large swimming pool that nearly fills the whole backyard.
 
Lisa and Rachel dived in the water the minute we arrived, and within a few minutes were happily swimming around. Damian on the other hand held back, even after some of the boys called out to him to join them. Damian then explained that he couldn't swim, so was reluctant to go anywhere near the water. It's something I intend to work on immediately, poor lad.
 
After they'd had a swim, everyone was called together to share the plates of hot finger food, straight out of the oven. There were small pies, pasties and sausage rolls, with plenty of cool drinks to wash it all down. We then went inside to view a video that was produced by the Catholic church, on the topic of drugs.
 
The young people at first were not impressed, grumbling about the topic having been done to death at school. However, once they relaxed and watched it, and they saw some of the negative outcomes for people who've taken drugs, I could see that the message was having some effect. Afterwards we broke up into three smaller discussion groups, according to age.
 
I had the middle group, and I think that they hadn't really appreciated the dangers of trying drugs before. I feel privileged to have been given the opportunity to work with these young people. It doesn't require someone to be a priest, but the skills I developed in those six years are now coming in handy. I hope that I'll be able to have a positive influence on some of their lives.
 

Saturday 13 February

Damian and I finished painting Benjy's kennel this morning. It should be dry by tomorrow, so then Benjy will have a beautiful place to live in when he's outside. Lisa and Rachel made a plaque for it, and Damian was really thrilled. I don't think he's been shown much love, nor has he experienced people going out of their way to do something for him.
 

Mon. 15 February

Jason was in trouble again over the weekend. He's been told that this time it's either the Youth Detention Centre or one last chance in a foster home. I went to visit him where he was being detained. He looked a sad and sullen young man.
"Hi, Jason", I greeted him. "What's been happening this time?"
"Nothing."
"Oh, so they've picked you up and brought you here for no reason?" I stated.
He looked up and I could see a trace of fear there. I sat down on the bed beside him.
"Do you want to tell me about it?" I invited.
There was silence for awhile, but when I didn't say anything more he took a deep breath.
"The f*** idiots say I pinched a car; and I didn't," tumbled out angrily
"So what makes them think you had anything to do with it?" I asked calmly.
"Well I was in it with Darren and his mate Nuts. Then suddenly we were bein' chased by the cops, so Darren drove it up a side road, then he and Nuts got out. When the cops got to us, they nabbed me just getting' out, on the driver's side. So now they reck'n I was drivin'."
It was all clear to me now. "Hmmm, I see. You were caught in the wrong place. What have you told the police about it?"
"Nothin'. Mum 'n Dad always told me t' never say nothin' when they question me."
I checked with the police in charge of the custody section. They were quite unimpressed, and said that neither of Jason's parents had bothered to come down to either pick him up or be present when he was being questioned.
 
A quick phone call to Jason's social worker, and he was released into my custody until his case could be heard. So now suddenly Jason will be staying with us too. I rang Ali at work and apologised for the lack of notice. She was marvellous, as I knew she would be. I spent the rest of the day sorting out the legalities of taking Jason into emergency care, and collecting his things from his home. His mother was there, but she didn't seem very interested in where I was taking Jason. She only shouted at him for getting into the car with Darren, and then not getting out in time. She was relieved to hear that Darren hadn't been caught.
 
I took Jason home and showed him the bedroom that would be his. Over lunch I explained who else lived with us, and what Ali and I were doing and why. I showed him over the house and backyard. He seemed quite happy about the situation, so I thought it would be a good time to explain our rules. I told him the amount of pocket money he'd have for himself (his eyes lit up at that) out of his Austudy allowance from the government, and how much of it he was expected to pay out of it for his keep. He seemed to be very happy about that; I don't think he's ever been given any of his allowance to use himself.
 
Damian was very shy at first when I introduced Jason, but Lisa was great. She told him that she'd make a plaque for his room at the weekend, and that he could use her computer when she didn't need it.
 
Unfortunately, Jason didn't respond very well. He was surly and mistrustful, and I could see that the burden of settling him in, is going to fall mostly on my shoulders; as I'm the only one he knows at present. I'm glad the others didn't press him to talk.
 
After dinner I asked Jason about Jonno. He shrugged his shoulders and replied that he hadn't seen him since school last Friday. I pointed out that Jonno didn't live far from here, and that he was most welcome to invite Jonno over after school one afternoon, or at the weekend, as long as he organised it with us and Jonno's parents beforehand.
 
He seemed to brighten up over that. He asked if he could ring Jonno up and tell him he was here. I had no problem with that, and let him take the portable handset into his room.
 
When he came back down half an hour later, he was a lot brighter. Jonno was going to ask his mother and let Jason know at school tomorrow. I made a mental note to ring Jonno's parents later and explain about Jason. It's a friendship I very much want to encourage. I can understand Jonno's family's reluctance in letting their son associate with Jason when he's in trouble with the police again.
 

Fri 19 February

The rest of the week has flown by. It's been busy, but no major hiccups. Jason seems to have settled in very well, and Jonno's
parents are going to let him visit tomorrow.
 
I'm glad that both our boys were happy to come along to the Youth Group tonight. It was a video night in the hall. We'd hired the new release "Star Wars, The Phantom Menace". The night started with the delivery of about ten large pizzas (that quickly disappeared), then we showed the video, breaking halfway for an intermission of drinks and popcorn (an essential when watching movies I've been told).
 
Afterwards Rick took them all for the short devotional segment on the theme of 'Violence in Society Today'. He stressed how
important it was to be able to separate real life from fiction, using the video we'd seen, and 'The Matrix' that they'd wanted us to show, as illustrations of this. He also talked about the difficulty of living in today's world, and not lowering their own moral standards to that of some of their peers. He encouraged these young people to stand up for what they know is right.
 
I wound up the evening by leading the group in prayer. Next week it's my turn to give the devotional segment.
 
On the way home we could see that Damian was completely wrapped in what he'd seen on the video. He's never seen any of the previous Star Wars movies, so we're going to hire them so that he can see the other stories. I can see that he's had a very narrow experience in many things in life.
 
Jason enjoyed himself and asked if Jonno could come to the Youth Group next Friday. I promised to speak to Jonno's parents about it. I can see that if we go anywhere by car, taking Lisa and Rachel, Jason and Jonno and Damian, we'll need to take both our cars. Or should we buy a bus?? Ali reminded me that Lisa was saving hard and hoped to buy her own car next year, so probably taking two cars on the odd occasion we needed to, is the better option at present.
 

Sat. 20 February

Jonno rode his bike over this afternoon. The boys asked to go down to the local shops to hang around. I had to say no, because I didn't know what Jonno's parents views were on this, as well as not wanting Jason hanging around places where there might be temptations put in his way.
 
Alison and I are discussing if we can acquire a Nintendo or similar electronic system that the teenagers all like so much at present. That way they might be happy to stay at home rather than wander the streets. I solved the problem today by hiring a game they could play together on the computer. I might plan an outing in the fresh air for Jonno's next visit.
 
Lisa found herself a part time casual job yesterday, working in the local chemist shop. She works on Saturdays and Sundays, so she can't go to Sunday Mass, but I'm not going to insist she go. I'd rather it be their own choice once they get to her age.
 
This morning I overheard Jason talking to her about working. She suggested he apply to McDonalds and the other fast food outlets. She offered to help him write up a résumé. I'll be really pleased if he gets a job, because he'll feel that he's earned the money. He's already said that he wants to buy his own Nintendo. He'll also learn that to be paid, you have to do the work correctly and in the time allocated.
 

Tues. 23 February

We had rehearsals for the principal cast members again tonight. Some of them have made a really good effort to learn their lines, but others need to put in more time to get it all off. The singing is still fairly weak in some cast members, and that's frustrating Ali.
 
She's happy with the chorus, although it's still very slow. Damian is enjoying singing with the group, and looks like a totally different person when he's in character. I can't quite believe it’s the same shy boy.
 
Jason and Jonno came along last week and asked if they could help backstage. Rick showed them what needed to be done, so both boys are going to help there. So it's now very much a family affair.
 
Generally Ali and I are happy with how our 'family' has settled down. Thankfully Lisa is helping a lot with the cooking, and I take my turn once a week. But mostly I clean up afterwards when I've packed  them all off to their rooms (Ali included) to do their homework.
 
Ali seems to be getting very tired with the extra responsibility and being pregnant. So mostly I've taken it on myself to help the boys with their homework. Ali has helped Lisa if she's needed it, but generally Lisa can manage on her own, or she rings a friend for advice.
 
My main concern is that Damian is very much a loner, and sometimes this worries me. At other times I think that maybe if he's
happier on his own, then who are we to force him to mix. Mostly I try to encourage him to socialise with others, but not to force it. He seems happiest when playing with Benjy on his own. Although he is polite to Jason, he seems a little in awe of him, and I can't see them ever becoming friends.
 
I suppose after 13 years of being neglected, and thinking that you're not a worthy person, it's going to take awhile to grow in
confidence. At least in the chorus of the musical, Damian is joining in very well.
 

Thurs. 25 February

Ali saw a biography of Dick Smith written up in a magazine, and brought it home to show me. She wondered if it might interest
Damian. Dick Smith is now a famous multimillionaire, but he left school early, having been a loner and constantly bullied. His hobby was building crystal radio sets, so his first job was working on taxi radios. Four years later he started his own business "Dick Smith Electronics'. After ten years, aged 36, he sold it for $25 million. Today there seems to be no stopping the man. He's quoted as saying that in his unhappy teenage years he hated school and was no good at his school work. We decided to keep the article for when it might be needed.
 

Sat. 27 February

I read the article on Dick Smith to Damian today, but he didn't see how it related to him. I suppose it may come in use sometime later when Damian matures more. Meanwhile, he doesn't seem to be unhappy. He doesn't expect a lot, and is easily pleased. It's his 14th birthday next month, so I'm determined to plan something special for it.
 
Ali is now 12 weeks pregnant, although no-one would guess it to look at her. She says she can feel that some of her clothes are
starting to feel a bit tighter in places. Our baby is now 5-6 cm long, and all its major organs should now have formed and be just getting bigger. The bones now have joints, and the ovaries or testes have formed. It's all so exciting knowing what's happening inside Ali's body, hidden from view.
 

Mon. 1 March

Jason had a job interview at McDonalds today. He came home grinning from ear to ear. He can collect his uniform on Wednesday, and he has his first training shift on Thursday, straight after school.
 
He was so excited, no-one else got the opportunity to say much over dinner. Lisa gave him some advice, but he was far too excited to take it in. I did have a good talk to him later about planning his finances so that he can save for the car or Nintendo that he's been talking about.
 

Tues. 2 March

Rehearsals seem to have settled down, although sometimes things seem to be actually going backwards. I still have to nag some of the cast to make the time to learn their lines more thoroughly. I tried to point out that at present they have the time, before the amount of assessment increases near the end of term. The sooner they've learnt them, the sooner they can concentrate on other aspects of their parts.
 
Thankfully both Rachel and Craig have been very good, and they have the biggest parts. They also have the heaviest school loads, so they can say something to the younger ones about their responsibility to the group, and team work.
 
Ali is happy with most of the girl's voices, but apart from Craig, the other two boys who have the main supporting roles and solos are a bit of a worry. Their voices are not as strong as Craig's, and they lack his confidence. On the other hand, Damian is excellent. Ali says that she'd love to have him in one of the other boy's parts, although he looks younger than he actually is.
 
In fact, at home she's started to teach him the other two parts as an understudy, in case something happens, and also to give him confidence in what he can do. It must be clear to him, as it is to us, that he's much better than both the two boys in the support roles.
 

Thurs. 4 March

Jason came home from work tonight at 8 o'clock, after working for three hours. He enjoyed it, and was very excited. It's the first time he's earned money for doing something. I overheard him talking on the phone, telling Jonno about it. It appears Jonno's parents aren't so keen about him going out to a part-time job, but the boys are working on them.
 

Mon. 8 March

When I came home from work this evening, both boys were in a very agitated state. It seems that Jason came across Damain being tormented by some other boys from Trinity (Damain's school). Jason says he just saw red, so he went in with fists flying, fighting both boys off very quickly.
 
Damain claimed that Jason was a hero. He proudly told me that Jason had given one of the boys a blood nose, and probably a blackeye as well. Jason said that it wasn't quite as bad as that, but he admitted that he'd lost his temper when he saw these two bigger boys gang up on Damian who was alone and didn't seem to have done anything to start it.
 
I managed to keep a straight face when I asked Damian who they were. He told me the names of two Year 9 boys whose names were already well known to me. I wasn't surprised. I talked to the boys and explained about not taking the law into their own hands, but to call in an adult. However, I have to agree with them, that there wouldn't have been too many suitable adults around at the time.
 
After dinner I had to smile to myself as I heard Jason talking to Damian as they went upstairs, telling him how to stand up to people like that. I had a talk to Damian on his own later. I explained that there's no way he could or should stand up to two of them like that, and in such cases he must seek adult help. However, I'm going to try to help Damian, so he doesn't attract that sort of attention in the first place. Unfortunately, a child who is a loner, without peer support, is always in danger of being a target just because they are on their own.
 

Tues. 9 March

When I arrived at Trinity College this morning, I assumed that the discussion with Damian was probably the end of the incident.
However, as it involved a student from another school, I thought I should tell the Principal what had happened, and what I'd done about it.
 
It was fortunate that I did. Through a couple of coincidences that must have been manipulated from above, I received the phone call from the parent of one of yesterday's bullies. The mother was complaining that a large boy in St. Patrick's uniform had attacked her son on the way home from school. She claimed that her son had suffered a black eye and a broken nose, and she wanted restitution. She wanted Trinity College to investigate who had beaten up her son.
 
When the woman had finished, I informed her that the incident had already been reported by a witness. That this person had seen her son and his friend tormenting a Year 8 Trinity College boy who was on his own, until the St. Patrick's boy had come to the younger boy's aid.
 
I informed the lady that at this moment, the principal was probably trying to contact her about it, and I offered to put her through to the principal. I left her spluttering and coughing on the line, while I transferred her call through.
 
The principal told me later that the mother changed her tune very quickly when the facts were put in front of her. She accepted that her son had been in the wrong, and hadn't told her the whole story, and agreed to support the school in it's bid to reduce bullying, She even gave permission for her son to be included in a program that the school is about to introduce as part of it's Pastoral Care Program.

Thurs. 11 March

Ever since Monday's incident, the relationship between the two boys has changed dramatically. Before then, the boys did little
together. There's about 2 years difference in age, but they're totally different in personality. They were polite to each other, but didn't associate. Jason had his friend Jonno, and Damian had Benjy. Now, over the last two days, Damian has been practically following Jason around like hero-worshipping puppy. He's even asked Jason to show him how to punch like he did.
 
Jason has handled it all very well. He was treated like a hero by the rest of the family on the first night, and I think he liked that. He's asked Damian if he could try some of Damian's tricks with Benjy, and Damian generously agreed to let him try. He even offered to show Jason how he does it.
 
I drew Alison over to the window to have a look. I stood behind her, and put my arms around her waist, as we watched them playing together with Benjy in the backyard.
"Isn't it a miracle how those two are now playing together?" I asked her.
"Hmm. But I wonder how long it'll last though?" she replied.
"Yeah, true." I agreed, "but I think a barrier has been overcome by the bullying incident".
 
I'm very hopeful that this friendship will continue. Later on this evening I saw Lisa and Jason whispering together. They were planning some sort of joint birthday present for Damian's birthday on Saturday.
 

Sat. 13 March

Tonight we had a birthday party for Damian's 14th birthday. It was mostly a family party because there were no special friends from school that Damian wanted to invite. We did include his little sister Jane. John & Phyllis and Geoff & Lorraine also came, and so did Rick, Jonno, and Rachel. So in the end it was quite a large group.
 
Damian's main present from us and his 'grandparents' was a Nintendo console and two controllers. Lisa and Jason has bought a game for it out of their earnings, so Damian was thrilled. The games come in a small box, which they taped to the underside of the lid of a larger box that they'd decorated in birthday wrapping paper. Inside the box was filled with shredded newspaper. There was a lot of fun (and mess), while Damian looked for his present, that Lisa and Jason insisted was inside the box. He eventually found it when the lid was turned over.
 
Rick gave him a book about Australian Wildlife, because Damian had said once that he wouldn't mind working as Wildlife Ranger when he finished school. I'm sure Damian really meant it when he said it was the best birthday he ever had. It was a very pleasant evening, with the young ones going upstairs to try out the new present.
 

Tues. 16 March

It's only one week until our full dress rehearsal. Tonight we had everyone together, and we'll have another full practice on Thursday and Sunday after mass.
 
After all the mix ups this afternoon, we definitely need more practice. The cast all seem to know their lines now, but we had a lot of trouble coordinating lights and sound with the actors and musicians. Rick had the rest of the backstage crew well trained, and they were generally on target. Although, there'll have to be a few changes where parts of the set blocked some views. Charlie the builder was very obliging, and promised to have it all fixed by Sunday's rehearsal.
 

Thurs. 18 March

The lights and sound was much better tonight. The chorus and the dancers all came in together, so thankfully it looks as if it's all
going to work out. Even the musicians sounded quite good. On Sunday we have 5 hours if we need it, so we're on target at present. Everyone went home feeling quite relaxed for a change. Up to now I've been telling myself that it's an amateur production, and most of the audience will be family and friends, so if it ends up being a shimozzle our audience will probably be fairly forgiving. Now I'm not feeling quite so pessimistic.
 

Friday 19 March

Alison is almost at the end of her first trimester. The nausea has completely gone, although she can't drink coffee any more. I'm also trying to avoid her getting too tired, although this is nearly impossible at present. It's amazing to think that our baby is about 8cm long now. All it organs are fully formed and will only grow bigger. It won't be long before she'll be able to feel it move inside her. I just can't wait for that. The ultra-sound we had done recently was exciting. To see the little heart beating away was just so fascinating. It made it so real for both of us, to see this new little human being growing inside her.
 
In fact tonight I insisted she have a quiet night at home alone, while I took all the kids to the Youth Group. It was Putt Putt Mini Golf at a local course. We started off playing golf while it was still light, then moved across to McDonalds for a burger meal each, before going back to the hall for devotions. Ali had a quiet night in front of the telly. When she dropped off to sleep in the middle of a program, she decided it was time to crawl into bed.
 

Sat. 20 March

Rick offered to baby-sit so that Ali and I could have a night out together. We took him up on the offer, and went to an early movie, then had a meal out before returning home. It wasn't late when we got back, so Rick joined us for a drink, over which he told us about his evening. Now that Jason and Damian are getting on so well, they're becoming a pair of terrors I think.
 
Lisa was busy studying in her room, as she has an important test on Monday. The boys were in Damian's room happily playing with Damian's Nintendo, and Rick was downstairs watching telly. We'd agreed that at their age they probably didn't need a sitter, but we both felt happier knowing Rick was there in case of any problems. Now we'll have to insist on this in future.
 
At about 8.30 Rick suddenly heard Lisa squeal. He raced upstairs to find Lisa looking absolutely terrified. She'd seen a white face with gruesome features outside her window. Rick tried to point out that she was on the top floor, and so no-one could really get up there, but she was adamant that she'd seen a face. He looked out the window, but couldn't see anything strange, although he did wonder if a burglar could climb the drain pipe that was just outside her window.
 
He was quite puzzled when they heard a giggle from the bedroom next door, so Rick went in to investigate. The boys looked
suspiciously innocent, playing the Nintendo game. Rick thought that they'd have been the first to race in and see what the squeal was all about. When he asked them if they'd seen anything out the window (which was open and next to Lisa's room), they shook their heads, and barely looked up.
 
Rick was quite suspicious, and went over to the window to look out. Again he couldn't see anything. As he stepped back, he kicked something that turned out to be a fishing rod partly sticking out from under the bed. Hanging from the fishing line was a polystyrene ball covered with a white cloth which had a rather ugly face drawn on it in felt tip pen. Rick picked it up, and looked at the boys.
 
Damian's lips started to tremble, but Jason just nonchalantly continued the game. When Rick told them that Ali and I wouldn't be pleased, both boys confessed, and offered to apologise to Lisa; which they did. As punishment, the Nintendo was turned off and packed up, and both boys were meekly sent into their own rooms. This was accepted as fair when they realised how much they'd terrified Lisa.
 
I have to admit, I found it hard not to smile as I listened to Rick relating his evening. I described to Rick what had happened two weeks ago. I explained how I was pleased that the boys were actually doing things together, like Steve and I did as brothers. I'm really thrilled about it, although it's a pity it scared Lisa.
 

Sun. 21 March

After mass and a quick lunch, we were all back to the hall for a marathon rehearsal. By this time next week it will be all over. Rachel's voice was croaky, and we all tried to get her to relax and not strain it.
 
There were a couple of young people missing, so it was difficult to have a complete practice. There's always the worry that they'll miss the opening night. I hope they put more effort into getting there then, than they do to rehearsal. Luke, one of the two boys in a male supporting role complained that he wasn't feeling well. At least he turned up, but he left early with an elevated temperature. For my own sake, I've decided not to worry about this unless it becomes serious. We managed to get through most of the parts twice. It's all coming together, but there's still a lot of room for improvement.
 

Mon. 22 March

Ali and I received a phone call from Luke's mother; Luke has mumps, so will be unable to perform in a few days time. We looked at each other - Damian? It must have been a premonition that had Alison train Damian as an understudy for these parts. We called him in to ask him if he felt up to it. There was a slight hesitation, then "Yeah, I think I can do it," he replied with a confidence that we wouldn't have associated with him a month ago.
 
Surprisingly, once he'd agreed to do it, it didn't seem to worry him at all. And yet in some ways he's still unusually shy and nearly scared of his own shadow. It's only when he's singing or acting that he relaxes and doesn't seem to be afraid. When I later asked him about it, he replied that all he had to do was follow instructions. He didn't have to think about what to say for himself, it was already written down. He did admit that he'd find it hard to play a character like Craig's, that was really strong, and was a 'real tough guy'.
 
Ali went over the part with him this evening. I think he's actually better than Luke, but the makeup people will have to try to make him look older. I rang the mother who's in charge of the costumes, and she seemed to think it would be possible to sort out that problem quite easily. Let's hope that we've now had our crisis, and everything will go smoothly at the weekend.
 

(Full Dress Rehearsal) Tues. 23 March.

We started rehearsing straight after school, with full makeup, hair and costumes. I explained to both cast and crew what had happened to Luke, and how Damian had agreed to fill in. The spontaneous clapping was a great boost to him and everyone.
 
By 5.30 everyone was on edge. Lines were forgotten, spotlights in the wrong places, mikes not working. I was frustrated and started getting impatient with people who were not to blame. It's only 3 days until our first performance, so it's too late to change things.
 
Ali could see what was happening, so beckoned me over and suggested we all have a break. I called everyone together and pointed out that we only had 3 days to get it right. I asked them to work together as a team. I implored them to watch everyone else, so each person was ready for each thing they were responsible for. The people on the spotlights had to concentrate and watch where the actor was standing, and to use the script. The musicians must watch the conductor, not the actors. The lead singers had done it all perfectly before, only this time it was in costume; nothing else had changed since Sunday.
 
I pointed out that every job, whether it was in the spotlight or backstage; every job was equally important to the success of our
project. The backstage people were the only ones who didn't seem to be making mistakes, and I praised them for the excellent job they were doing. I finished by saying that the audience would judge us on the overall performance, which is only as good as the weakest link in the chain (or team).
 
After everyone had eaten some pizza and had some drinks I told them we'd start from the top.
"This time everyone concentrate so we don't have to stop." I challenged them. "Let's try to get through the whole first half again
before we have a break".
 
It's amazing how my pep talk must have worked. I think they realised that I was really disappointed and angry with some of them. This time they all really concentrated, and everyone supported each other and pulled together. I was very relieved when we finished the first half without having to stop. They'd all earned their break.
 
"Let's get into the second half now," I called out after a 10 minute break. "The sooner we get started, the sooner we can all go home." I added. "The last time it was almost good, let's try to repeat it, or even better it."
 
The second half was quite OK too. There was only one hiccup when the curtain rose on a half-ready set, while another scene was being played out in front of the curtain. There was also a loud clank as Craig "kicked the bucket" and then "put his foot in it". Once we'd dispensed with the jokes, I suggested a different placement for the offending bucket, and we made a slight adjustment to a light to eliminate a shadow. Then we were able to finish the rest without interruption.
 
We finished the rehearsal with a prayer, asking for good health and restful nights sleep. I reminded them all to be at the hall at 6pm for a 7.30 start. At least tonight they realised how long it takes for hair and makeup when there is a whole cast to get ready.
 
At home I told Damian what a good job he'd done. He looked quite tired and I ushered his up to bed quickly. Alison also looked tired. This musical has taken a lot out of her. In hindsight, it may not have been such a good idea. She insisted she was OK, so while she got ready for bed, I prepared a warm milk drink that I hoped would relax her, and help her fall asleep quickly.
 

Fri. 26 March

We were both very nervous went we arrived at the hall tonight. I kissed Ali briefly and we wished each other all the best. Rick called everyone together in Prayer and asked for God's help in ensuring everything went smoothly.
 
The curtain went up on a darkened stage within 5 minutes of the starting time, and the band began the prelude. The lights came up at the right time, on the right spots, so it was a perfect start. There was a moment of panic when Craig was concentrating on Rachel and almost missed his que. He just made it. Young Love!!! Still it's only a few months ago when I was behaving irrationally, worrying about Alison. I don't think I'd ever like to go back to that again.
 
At interval we sent out a few people to gauge the audience's reactions, and all reported back that everything was positive. The second half went smoothly. Any errors were minor and obvious only to us, and wouldn't have been picked up by the majority of the audience.
 
When the curtain came down there were calls for more. An encore, and still calls for more. One more encore and although we were given a standing ovation by all our kind friends, that was it. We still have another night tomorrow, so I called it a day fairly quickly. I could see that Ali was nearly dead on her feet; and Damian looked rather beat too. I ordered everyone to get to bed a quickly as possible, with a sleepin in the morning.
 

Sat. 27 March

Like I've found before, tonight's performance was not as good as last night's. The cast and crew were more relaxed, which meant they didn't concentrate as well. There were a few errors in the speeches, a few lines missed out, but I don't think the audience noticed. On the whole, they were great, laughing in the right places and clapping good performances.
 
When the curtain came down we all felt a great sense of relief. Ali and the conductor were asked for a curtain call, then myself, Rick and the musicians, before one last encore. It was lovely to see Damian's face went he came out for his curtain call. It was fun, but a lot of work. Next year at this time we'll have a baby to think about, so I don't know if we'll be able to help, that's if they want to do it again.
 
The after party was very nice. I noticed that Jason was starting to chat to one of the girls who was in the chorus. He's growing up too, so that will be a whole new experience for Ali and I. Jonno was left standing, so he went over to talk to Damian, who was standing by himself.
 
Rick was very happy. The two nights had made over $2000, so he's going to use some of it on a leadership camp he wants to send a couple of the older students on. A large part will subsidise some of the young people on a Youth Group Camp in the Snowy Mountains in the school holidays.
 
Alison was very pleased with the singers; and so she should be. They did an excellent job, thanks to her hard work. I could see that she was exhausted, so I asked Damian if he was ready to come home. Rick offered to bring Lisa and Jason home later, as they looked like they were still having a great time.
 

Mon. 29 March

There was a good review of our musical in the local paper this morning. Alison was commended on the competence of the singers, and both Rachel and Damian were singled out as having a possible future in singing when they left school.
 
Damian enjoyed the praise, but said that he definitely wanted to work with animals, preferably out in the bush. I must take him out on walks more these holidays, now that the musical is over and we have more time.
 

Wed. 31 March

I was at St. Patrick's today, and the news of our successful musical had reached them earlier in the week. There was a suggestion that it could become an annual event, but I'm not sure if I could cope with that. Although, I have to admit it was good for the students to work together in a team to produce such a polished performance.
 
Personally I'd like to do something with more of a Christian message if we were to do it again. As soon as I wrote that down, I
thought of when I was told in BallyK that Fr. Mac's idea of a suitable play was the life story of one of the saints. I don't think that, but I would like to do something that had some more meat in it; some sort of message for the young people of today.
 
School breaks up for Easter tomorrow, then it's two weeks holiday. We're all looking forward to it. After Easter, Lisa is going to have a few days at Rachel's house, and Damian is going to stay with the family who looked after him and his sister Jane in January. I asked Jonno's parents if they'd be willing to have Jason with them for a few days so that gives Ali and I a few days to ourselves.
 
Our baby is nearly half way, with just under 5 months before he or she is due to be born. That will change my life completely I
expect. Ali is going to teach for one more term, until the winter break in June, so it's important she gets enough rest now.
 
At the end of the second week we've agreed to help Rick and Tony supervise the Youth Camp, although they've promised that Ali won't have to do much other than relax and provide a female presence. So there's still a lot to look forward to later this year.