Just Beginning

by Emma


For the purpose of this fic only and possibly some future ones, I am assuming that 1) Aiden never left 2) Frankie never cut her hair ( I really don't like it)

                Aiden sat in the church, it was late evening and he should have locked up hours ago really. He was having trouble. Although he wanted to serve God, he had fallen in love. He had heard that the last priest left priesthood for love, maybe Ballykissangel had a way of making you doubt yourself. He had always believed that becoming a priest was his calling, but maybe it had just been an easy way out. Maybe he had been so scared about what might happen in the `real world' that he decided the best way was to shut himself off. In which case, why would he leave his safety for the thing which had driven him to it. She didn't even feel the same about him, he knew that for a fact. At Niamh and Sean's wedding he had been watching her, she was so beautiful. She had seemed so ignorant to his feelings. What was he going to do?

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                Frankie sat at her kitchen table, alone, as always. Why was she always alone? She wondered. She was alone, she knew, because she had fallen for the one man she couldn't have. A priest for heavens sake. She had been brought up so religiously, how could she go against it by falling in love with him. At Niamh and Sean's wedding she had thought that she saw something in his eyes when he looked at her. Love, maybe? No, he had backed off too quickly. Maybe he did that because he's confused. He is a priest after all. Oh, it was all so confusing.

                She gathered up her bag and a coat and left the house. She didn't know where she was going.
 

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                Aiden shut the door of the church behind him as he stepped into the cool Irish air. It was a nice evening, chilly, but not unbearably cold. He had decided to go for a walk. He put his head down and walked out of the church gates as fast as he could, hoping not to meet anyone on the way. Unfortunately, he ran straight into Frankie.

                They both half jumped, half fell backwards and then looked up to see who they had bumped into. They jumped back even further when they saw.

                `Father.' She greeted

                `Frankie.' He said back. There was an uncomfortable silence.

                `Going anywhere nice?' she asked.

                `Just for a walk. You?'

                `Same. Got a few things on my mind.'

                `Would you like to join me? I might be able to help.'

                `I doubt it but I would love to join you.'

                So they started off up the road. It was almost dark by this time. They walked upwards, even though they didn't realise it, and they soon came to the top of a hill. From there they could see the sun setting. Up until now they had walked in silence, neither one really knowing what to say. They walked down the hill a bit on the other side, so that they were out of view of the village, and sat down.

                There was still silence between them. Aiden decided to break it. `You know what you said earlier about having a lot of things on your mind?'

                `Yes,' she replied.

                `Well, do you want to tell me about them, maybe I can help.'

                `I don't think you can and I don't really want to talk about it.'

                `Man problems?' he asked, not really knowing just how close to the truth that was.

                Frankie sighed. She was stuck. She couldn't tell him how she felt, but she couldn't tell him nothing. Then she had an idea. `Father?' she began, `Can I ask you a hypothetical question?'

                `Course.'

                `Ok. Just say that this woman had a crush on someone, except it was more than a crush, she had real feelings for him. The problem is that the person in question is unavailable. What would I.. I mean she, do?'

                `What do you mean by unavailable? Married?'

                `No, just unavailable. There is no real reason keeping them apart, it's just if anything happened then a lot of people wouldn't like it and people would be very judgmental.'

                `Well, if the feelings are real enough then I think that the person should tell this other person how they are feeling and if the person returns them, then they should work it through together. Who is he?'

                Frankie looked up. She shouldn't be shocked, using hypothetical questions was the oldest trick in the book. Anyone would see through it. He looked back, questions in his eyes.

                `Who is it, Frankie? You can tell me. I won't tell anyone, I'm a priest, remember.'

                `How could I forget?' she answered, making it a little too obvious. She looked him straight in the eye and tried to tell him without actually saying anything. He obviously got the message because the shock registered in his eyes.

                `Me?' he asked, disbelieving.

                `Yeah. Fancy that. Falling in love with a priest. Kathleen would have a field day. I don't want anything from you, I know that you have to serve the church and that you don't feel the same way, but it was just getting me down and I had to tell you. Well, I actually wasn't going to tell you but you asked and…' she was stopped in her tracks by a sound kiss. She was too shocked at first to react, but soon it wore off and she found herself returning the kiss. Finally, he pulled  away. She didn't move. Her eyes stayed shut and she was still leaning forward. Slowly, her eyes opened, and they were met with Aiden's.

                He was looking a bit flustered and immediately began to apologise, `I am so sorry. I shouldn't have done that. You said you didn't want anything from me and I pushed you and...' This time it was Frankie who stopped him, with another kiss. This one quickly became more passionate and he pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her waist. Her own arms found their way round his neck. When the kiss ended, they didn't let go of each other. He put his forehead on hers and looked into her eyes again.

                `I love you too.' he said. Frankie panicked. She wasn't expecting that. Mumbling something about something she had to do, she got up and left.

                `Frankie!' he called, `Frankie!' But she wouldn't turn back.

                Scared that he might try to follow, she began to run, and so did the tears.

                Fitzgeralds
                Next day
                Evening

                Aiden entered the bar and sat down.

                `Pint please, Orla.' he said to his sister, who was working behind the bar.

                `You look rough,' she said.

                `Thanks.'

                Behind him, the door opened and in walked Frankie. She sat a little way away from him, but Orla did not miss the look she shared with Aiden.

                `What are you having?' Orla asked.

                `You still got coffee going? I've had a rough day and I'm tired.'

                `Sure.'

                `Actually, Orla,' Aiden began, `I just remembered that I don't think I shut the church door properly. I'd better go check it.' He didn't wait for an answer, he just left.

                Orla looked to Frankie, who seemed much more interested in the cup of coffee that Orla had just placed in front of her than anything else. There was no-one else in the bar, so Orla decided to ask Frankie what was going on, and she didn't beat about the bush. `What's going on with you and my brother?'

                `Nothing.'

                `Oh come on. You would have to have a big industrial knife to cut through the tension in the room when you were both here, and you would have to be blind to have missed that look.'

                `What look?'

                `Frankie!' Orla warned.

                `Ok, but you can't tell anyone. Last night we ran into each other, literally. We were both going for a walk and he suggested that we go together. When we got to the top of a hill he asked what was on my mind. He guessed it was guy trouble, and I said I had fallen in love with someone `unavailable' and he worked out it was him. Then we kissed. Oh, Orla. I never thought it was possible to feel like that about anyone. But he told me that he was in love with me too, and I panicked, and ran. What am I going to do?'

                Orla thought for a moment,and then replied. `I'll tell you what you're going to do. You are going to go home, put something on besides your uniform, have a big cup of black coffee and go and see him. Tell him, don't let him get away, because sometimes we only get one chance at love, and if your feelings and his are true then you can't let it slip through your fingers.'

                `Ok. I will. Just let me drink this first.' She said, indicating the cup of untouched coffee, still resting on the bar.

                `No. Put the kettle on while you get changed. Don't wait too long or you will change your mind. Don't worry about people seeing you. There's that big trip on today. Everyone went on it. Brendan, Siobhan and Aisling I think, Padriag, Kathleen, Paul and Oognah took the kids as well and most other people. I couldn't go because someone had to run this place, beside, it sounded a bit boring. Sorry, I'm blabbering. I'm just happy for you two. Now go.' She said and ushered Frankie out the door. Once she was out, Orla shut the door behind her. Then she turned back towards the empty bar. `Yes!' she said, punching her fists in the air.

                Guarda house
                10 minutes later

                Frankie poured the boiling water into the cup which was resting on the sideboard. She had done exactly what Orla had said and got changed. She was now wearing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. She thought she would go casual instead of dressed up, because if things went wrong then she didn't want to ruin a perfectly good outfit. She was worried now. What if he changed his mind? What if he never meant it in the first place? What if he didn't want anything to do with her? She couldn't do it. Just then she heard a bus rumble down the street. She looked out her window and saw that the people who had gone on the rip had returned. Oh well. There was no way she could go to see Aiden now.

                Priests House

                Aiden let the curtain drop back to its natural position, but he couldn't block out the sound of the trippers returning. Should he go and see her? He wondered. No, probably not. She had said she was tired. She had probably fallen asleep already.

                *Knock *Knock*

                The sharp rap on his door woke him from his thoughts. Slowly he got up to open the door.

                Frankie stood outside the priests house. She had knocked once. Then again. But had heard no-one inside. She was just about to leave when the door creaked open and Aiden looked out. He looked surprised to see her, but she couldn't blame him for that.

                `Can I come in please?' she asked after a few moments of his staring, `The street is full of trippers and I don't really want to be seen.'

                `Sorry. Come in, come in.' he replied, trying to hide his surprise, and failing miserably. He stood back to let her enter, and she walked past, straight into the living room. She stood in the middle of the room and looked round for a moment, before locking eyes with the very confused priest before her.

                `Sorry for coming over unannounced like this, but we have to sort this out. One way or another.'

                `I agree. How?' he asked.

                `Ok, I don't really know where to begin, but I'll try anyway. Firstly, did you mean what you said?' she asked, crossing her fingers behind her back.

                `Which bit? You mean do I love you? Do I want to hold you and tell you everything is going to be okay? Do I want to kiss you? Do I want to walk into the pub with you, hold your hand in public, and have no-one judge or stare? Yes, to all of the above.' While he was saying this he had taken just a few steps towards her, but in the small room, that closed the gap between them considerably. `The question now is, did you mean what you said?'

                It was Frankie's turn to be surprised now. Did he really just say all that or was she imagining it? Slowly, her senses came back to her and she was able to reply with a simple, `Yes.' That was it. That was all it took to seal the fate of both of them. She finished closing the gap between them and looked down. She reached out and took of one his hands in each of hers, playing with his fingers for a few seconds. When she looked up again she was met with Aidens eyes, staring down on her, filled with nothing but love. Slowly, ever so slowly, their lips met. It was the most wonderful kiss either of them had ever had, so filled with love and passion. Quickly the kiss became more passionate, but Aiden knew that nothing could happen yet, so he broke the kiss.

 Frankie looked a bit confused, `I thought this was what you wanted, I thought…'he silenced her by putting a finger on her lips.

                `It is, but nothing can happen until I leave the priesthood.'

                `Oh, God. I never thought of that. Are you sure that's what you want?'

                `I want you. That's the only thing I know for sure. And the only way we can be together properly is if I'm not a priest. I'd do anything for you, remember that.'

                `I will,' she replied, `but I'd better go now, before people get suspicious. When are you going to talk to Fr.Mac?'

                `First thing tomorrow morning.'

                `Right. I wish I could stay. Oh, by the way. I sort of accidentally told Orla about us. She was the one who convinced me to come over here actually.'

                `Yeah, well she would. She never thought I should be a priest, thought I was just looking for an escape from the world. That's why she always stays with me, you know. Moves from place to place when I get transferred. To protect me, she says, but I think she is just waiting for me to fall in love. To find the one person who will make me do what she has been trying to make me do for five years. Remind me to thank her will you.'

                Frankie laughed, `Course. Right, I really had better go now. I'll probably see you tomorrow. Good luck with Fr.Mac.' With that she leant forward, gave him a quick kiss and left. Leaving Aiden to try and work out what just happened.

                Fr. Mac's office
                Next day

                Aiden knocked on the door with more confidence than he actually felt. What was he doing? The right thing, he kept telling himself. Then he would remember Frankie and he would know that he was doing the right thing.

                `Come in.' Came Fr. Mac's voice through the wooden door.

                Aiden pushed open the door and walked a little way into the room, `Ah, Fr. To what do I owe this pleasure? Do take a seat.'

                Aiden sat in the guest chair opposite Fr. Mac and began, `Father,  there is no easy way of saying this, I want to leave the priesthood.'

                `Very well. I will talk to the Bishop and tell him the situation.'

                Aiden was shocked, `Don't you even want to know why?' he asked.

                `Father, I am not blind. I saw the way you looked at Guarda Sullivan, and I also saw the way she looked at you. I knew to expect this.'

                Father Mac looked at Aiden, he had been sure this one would work out, what was happening in this village? `Aiden? You are free to go now.'

                `Right. Yes Father. When will I officially not be a priest?'

                `Just as soon as I have talked to the bishop and you have handed in your robes, which could be today or tomorrow, depending on when I can get hold of him.'

                `Thank you father.'

                `You're very welcome. Good luck.'

                Aiden left Father Mac's office even more confused than when he had gone in. Who else had picked up their feelings before they had?

                Guarda House
                6:30pm

                Frankie sat in the small living room of the cramped house. What was happening? Why hadn't he called? Come to see her? Anything. Maybe he had changed his mind. These and other questions had been going through her mind since her shift finished and most of the time during her shift as well. She couldn't get him out of he head. What was happening?

                *Knock *Knock*

                She jumped up to answer the door and was there in record time, but when she opened the door she was disappointed.

                `Kathleen?' she asked

                `Ah, Guarda Sullivan. Now, I need to talk to you about this neighbourhood watch scheme you were talking about. I was thinking that…'

                `Kathleen,' she interrupted, `Can we talk about this some other time because I am very tired and all I want to do is have a coffee and go to bed. Tell you what. I'll come round to yours tomorrow and you can tell me all of your ideas. Okay?'

                Kathleen looked put out but agreed. As she turned to leave and before Frankie had had a chance to shut the door Aiden walked up. Frankie didn't notice him approach, but Kathleen did and said to him, `Good luck Father. She's in a foul mood.'

                Upon hearing these words Frankie's door flew open again in time to catch Kathleen entering her shop. Both her and Aiden watched until the door had shut and had been locked, before Frankie turned to Aiden and said, `Come in.'

                She led the way into her sitting room where they both stood a little awkwardly. Frankie broke the silence with the question she had been dying to ask all day, `Did you talk to Fr. Mac?'

                `Yes.' he replied.

                `And?' she asked, impatiently.

                `He said he would talk to the bishop and as soon as I've handed my robes in I would be "relieved of my duties". Seems he knew about our feelings long before we acknowledged them. He said he would ring as soon as he had talked to the bishop. I didn't want to come over before he rung because I didn't know if I could resist myself. If you know what I mean.'

                `Has he called?'

                `I wouldn't be here if he hadn't.'

                `So does that mean that you are no longer a priest?'

                `It does.'

                Silence reigned again, but this time it was a silence to take in what had happened. So much had happened in three days, neither of them could really believe it.

                `Where do we go from here?' he asked, hoping she would know, because he had no idea.

                `Fitzgeralds?' she replied.

                `Together?'

                `Together. There's nothing stopping us now. We can be a proper couple. If you want to be that is.'

                `Lets go.'

                Fitzgeralds
                About 2 minutes later

                Orla set the pint down in front of Brendan who was arguing with Padraig about something or other. Siobhan and Oonagh looked at each other and rolled their eyes. Paul was trying to explain to Grainne why she couldn't have a pony and Aisling lay asleep in her car seat (she had special dispensation to be in the pub if they told people Grainne was babysitting). All eyes were on the door as it creaked open and Aiden popped his head round the door. Then he pushed the door completely open to reveal Frankie behind him, their hands entwined. For a moment no-one noticed this and greeted them as normal, until Siobhan said, `Uh-oh, we've got another deserter.' And pointed to their hands.

                `Good on you Father!' said Padrag, raising his glass.

                `Yeah, nice one.' agreed Brendan.

                Aiden and Frankie were grinning like Cheshire cats, ignoring the looks and whispered comments from a few other people in the pub and on the congratulations and good wishes from their friends.

                `Let me buy you two lovebirds a drink,' said Siobhan.

                `No, the first ones are on the house.' Oonagh disagreed.

                `Thank you, Oonagh.' Aiden said, as he sat down on a bar stool, Frankie on the one next to him, `Thank you all. We didn't know how you were going to react.'

                `To be honest with you, Father, we've been expecting this for weeks.' Brendan admitted.

                `Well why didn't you say anything?' asked Frankie, who didn't know how easy Fr. Mac had been about Aiden leaving the priesthood.

                `We knew you would work it out in the end. Even Assumpta, who was one of the most stubborn people you could ever meet, gave in to love in the end.' explained Padriag.

                We leave the scene with as it is. Frankie and Aiden happier than they have ever been and everyone else just as happy for them. I'll leave it to your imagination as to what happens when Kathleen finds out, although it would be fun to write. Maybe there will be a sequel…