Mulder and Scully in Ballykissangel

by Chhillgirl


~ This is a little something I wrote for my bestest friend who loves the X-Files! I'm actually really proud of this story and I hope you like it! ~

It was a normal day in Ballykissangel, not that Ballyk normal days were actually normal. Brendan, Siobhan, and Padraig were at their regular end of the bar in Fitzgeralds. Assumpta was, as usual, complaining about her lack of business.

'I haven't had anyone come in here asking for a room on months,' she fussed.

'Are the finances really that bad?' asked Siobhan.

'Tollbooths on the moon make more money than I do,' Assumpta replied.

'Aye, Assumpta,' Padraig began jokingly, 'what you need are some of them American tourists to come here.'

'Trust me Padraig, the last thing I need around here are Americans,' answered Assumpta.

'Don't tell me you have something against another group of people?' said Peter who had just appeared in the doorway.

'What is that supposed to mean?' Assumpta said defensively.

'Well, lets see,' continued Peter as he walked to the bar and took a seat. 'You hate the English, the clergy, and now the Americans!'

'Oh, come now Peter,' Assumpta began with a hint of sarcasm in her voice, 'I like you don't I? And you're both clergy and English!'

'That still doesn't tell me how you feel about Americans,' said Peter.

'I'd be happy to have some Americans walk in here as long as they buy something,' replied Assumpta. A smile formed on Peter's lips. They just looked at eachother and soon they had what you could classify as a staring contest. After several moments Peter was forced to blink.

'I win.'

'As always,' answered Peter. They both laughed.

*****

'Mulder, you're lost,' said Scully assertively.

'No, I'm not,' answered Mulder. Scully crossed her arms and sunk down into the car seat. Mulder looked over at her. She turned her head and looked out the window frowning. Some few miles later, they still hadn't gotten anywhere.

'Mulder,' said Scully.

'What,' answered Mulder.

'Mulder!' Scully exclaimed.

'What!' yelled Mulder.

'Sheep!!!' she yelled.

'Whoa,' he said attempting to swerve but it was too late. They bumped the sheep. Mulder and Scully got out of the car and observed a sheep on its side on the ground. The only damage to the car seemed to be that the license plate had broken into two pieces and one was missing.

'Good job Mulder,' said Scully sarcastically. Mulder looked at her disgusted. Just then they both heard a coarse voice yelling from behind.

'What have you done!' the voice excaimed. Mulder and Scully spun around. 'I said, what have you done!' The speaker was a short, old and somewhat disheveled man.

'Is this your sheep?' Scully asked.

'It is indeed!' answered the man.

'Listen,' began Mulder, 'We don't mean any trouble. It was an accident.' The man began attending to his wounded sheep.

'I've heard about these men, Mulder. They're obsessed with their life outdoors. Mountainy Men, that's what they're referred to. I'd say their disillusion with their enviroment was a mild form of psychosis, but it's hard to tell with the varying degrees of insanity these men suffer from,' Scully babbled away.

'Uh...who are you?' Mulder asked the man ignoring Scully.

'That's none of your business!' he exclaimed. 'Now, help me get this sheep into your car!'

'Why are we putting the sheep in the car?' asked Mulder.

'You need to drive me and the sheep to the vet,' he answered.

'And where are we going to find the vet?' questioned Mulder.

'Ballykissangel,' said the man.

'And what town are we trying to get to?' Mulder asked of Scully.

'...Ballykissangel,' she answered.

*****

Assumpta came out of the kitchen balancing many glasses and cups obviously having a difficult time.

'Here, let me help you,' said Peter as he walked around the bar and took some of the glasses from her.

'Thanks,' Assumpta replied putting some of the cups down on the bar.

'You really need some help around here, Assumpta,' said Peter.

'Why? I have you here to help me and I don't have to pay you,' she replied. Peter just gave her a look and Assumpta returned it with a smile. Suddenly a large rumbling was heard by everyone in the bar. All the glasses on the shelves began to rattle. Everyone began to file out of the bar and into the street. Niamh and
Ambrose are already out on the street very curious about the noise. They all suddenly saw what was causing the noise. A large bulldozer came down the street being driven by Liam and Donal. Ambrose stepped into the middle of the road and Liam and Donal stopped the bulldozer.

'You're not allowed to be driving something like that through here!' Ambrose yelled.

'What?' yelled Liam trying to hear over the noise.

'I said, you're not allowed to drive that thing through here!' Ambrose repeated.

'What?!' Liam yelled again, 'Listen, I haven't got time for this! Sorry!' Liam and Donal started to move the bulldozer again and Ambrose quickly jumped out of the way. Everyone in the street moved in unison to the middle of the street to watch the bulldozer continue away. Assumpta and Peter were the first ones to return inside. They saw several broken glasses on the floor. Assumpta became very distressed.

'Why don't I just leave this place?' Assumpta asked not directing the question at anyone. Peter looked at her very concerned. Assumpta noticed his sudden discontent and turned to him. 'Just kidding, Peter.'

'You better be,' he answered with a smile.

Down the same street, Mulder, Scully, Eamon (as the man had identified himself as) and the sheep were approaching Ballykissngel. Both Mulder and Scully sighed a breath of relief as the town came in sight. Eamon was in the back talking to the sheep. Mulder and Scully exchanged many frightened looks. They suddenly are passed by a giant bulldozer.

'What the...,' Mulder begins.

'I have a feeling this is going to be a very interesting trip,' commented Scully. The three, four if you include the sheep, crossed the bridge into Ballykissangel.

'Stop here,' instructed Eamon pointing to a sign on a building which said 'Fitzgeralds.' Eamon got out pulling the sheep with him. 'Watch this sheep while I go into Fitgeralds to find the vet!' Mulder and Scully got out of the car and looked around. Brendan was still outside talking with Ambrose. Mulder and Scully were too busy looking around to monitor the sheep and it wandered right on over to Brenden. He caught sight of the sheep and noticed a shiny piece of metal hanging on it. He reached over to the sheep and removed what turned out to be part of a licence plate.

'And I thought this place couldn't get any weirder...,' Brenden said to himself as he walked to the pub. Eamon emerged out of Fitgeralds along with a woman.

'Well, where's the sheep?' Eamon insisted to Mulder and Scully.

'Um...,' said Mulder looking around, '...there!' he finished once he had spotted the animal. The two walked over to the sheep.

'Do you suppose we go in that bar and ask about somewhere to stay?' Scully asked Mulder.

'Pub, Scully,' he answered, 'They call them pubs here, not bars.'

'You know, Mulder, sometimes I want to hit you,' she said and began to walk to Fitzgeralds.

*****

Inside Fitzgeralds, everyone was back in their seats discussing what Brian Quigley could possibly be up to with the bulldozer.

'Maybe he's going to make them holiday homes again,' suggested Brenden.

'You never can tell with Quigley, seedy fellow he is,' Siobhan answered. From across the pub, Mulder and Scully entered.

'Why, will you look at that, Assumpta,' said Peter pointing to the pair. 'It looks like you'll have some business after all.'

'Hey, Assumpta, another pint please!' Padraig said loudly.

'Not now, Padraig. I've got customer,' Assumpta said in a proud manner. He smirked at her. Assumpta made her way over to the desk where Mulder and Scully were standing. 'How can I help you?'

'Yeah, hello, I'm Dana Scully and this is my partner. We're gonna need two rooms for tonight,' Scully told Assumpta.

'I can speak for myself,' Mulder told Scully and then directed his attention to Assumpta, 'Hi, I'm Fox Mulder.' He shook Assumpta's hand. She blushed slightly and then Scully pushed herself in between the two.

'So, the rooms?' Scully said forcefully.

'Sure, I've got two rooms, you can be directly across the hall from each other,' Assumpta answered. 'I'll get your keys now.' Assumpta left to get the keys. Mulder still had a bit of a devious smile on his face as he watched Assumpta leave.

'Stop it, Mulder,' Scully said.

'Stop what?' Mulder asked.

'Just stop it,' she answered. Back over where the regulars were talk still revolved around the bulldozer when the door to the pub opened and Brian Quigley entered. Brenden, Siobhan, Padraig and Peter were all silent as Quigley walked over.

'What's the matter with you lot?' Brian asked noticing their sudden silence.

'How's business going for you, Brian?' Siobhan asked inquisitively.

'Fine...,' Quigley answered hesitively.

'Any new business ventures?' Brenden added.

'Why is it any of your matter?' he answered defensively.

'Anything involving construction maybe?' Siobhan said continuing the line of questions.

'Now, what is it you want to say. Stop speaking in questions and say it,' Brian said somewhat agitated.

'What's with the Bulldozer, Brian,' Peter stated matter of factly.

'That, that is none of your matter as of the moment,' he answered.

'You're not going to try to knock down all the trees in that wood again are you, Brian,' Peter asked.

'Listen, I am a businessman and I'm entitled to my business ventures and privacy while I do them! So will the lot of you keep to yourselves this time,' Brian said forcefully.

'Alright, fine Brian,' Siobhan said, 'if you want this town hating you just go ahead with whatever scheme you have planned.'

'Aye, Siobhan, you don't even know what I'm doing with the bulldozer and you're already against it!' Brian said.

'Then, why don't you just tell us what your little business venture is then,' Peter said.

'Fine, If you absolutely must know it's just something I'm doing to get some quick money so I can be back on top of my finances,' Brian answered.

'Exactly what is it you're doing,' Peter continued.

'Materials transport,' he said.

'What in God's name is that supposed to mean,' Brenden asked.

'I'm transporting dirt to a nearby construction site, alright! Happy now?' Brian said defensively.

'Dirt? What kind of dirt, Brian,' Siobhan asked.

'Menuu,' Brian mumbled.

'Menu? What?' Brenden asked confused.

'Manure! Alright!' Brian said with a hint of shame in his voice.

'Manure?' Padraig said surprised, 'You mean the only money you could get was from transporting some leftover animal waste?' Siobhan, Peter and Brenden all broke out into a fit of the giggles and Brian became obviously annoyed and walked away from them across the pub. Back over at the front desk, Assumpta returned to Mulder and Scully with their keys.

'Ok, here you go. I hope you find everything alright with the rooms,' Assumpta told them.

'I'm sure they'll be fine,' Mulder said smoothly.

'Your rooms are right up the stairs, the first two doors you see,' Assumpta added.

'Thanks,' said Scully and she dragged Mulder up the stairs.

*****

That night Peter lay in bed trying to get to sleep. As usual, he couldn't. His thoughts turned to Assumpta. Peter had seen how Mulder had looked at her earlier in the pub and he couldn't help feeling jealous. The last time Peter had felt jealousy was when Enda Sullivan had his eye on her.

'Stop thinking of her,' Peter told himself. He just couldn't help thinking of her. She invaded his every thought, every dream. Meanwhile, at Fitzgeralds, Mulder and Scully were talking in Mulder's room.

'Explain to me again why we're here?' asked Mulder.

'We're investigating the possibility that several bees carrying an Alien virus have been infected with Mad Cow Disease,' Scully answered all too formally.

'I hate the bees. They only get in the way of everything. Especially that damn bee in the hallway that bit you right when...,' Mulder trailed off.

'What? What did that bee get in the way of, Mulder?' Scully asked.

'It's just that we were going to...I mean, we were so close...,' Mulder said.

'I know, I know,' she answered. There was a slight awkward pause but Scully broke the silence. 'I hate the bees too and especially that bee that bit me in the hallway.' What was this? Did Scully feel the same way Mulder did? Was that her round about way of saying she had wanted to kiss Mulder just as much as
Mulder wanted to kiss Scully?

'You should go to your room and get some sleep. We've got a busy day ahead of us,' said Mulder wanting to ease the tension.

'Goodnight then,' said Scully. She slowly stood up and turned to walk out.

'One more thing, Scully,' Mulder said, 'If the bees have Mad Cow Disease than shouldn't it be called Mad Bee Disease?' They both laughed.