Alternative Ending to

"I Know When I'm Not Wanted"

by chhillgirl

When Peter arrived back from retreat he had said to himself that he would be able to control his feelings for Assumpta. He had gained a new strength but as soon as he saw her all that strength faded. It was as if she had a control over him. He was mesmerized by her beauty. He now stood outside his house working on his broken car in devastation. She had gone away like Peter and gotten herself Leo. Peter cringed. He had never felt so much pain. He was on the verge of tears constantly. He looked down the road at the pub. The pain could be easily seen in his face. You would have to be blind, deaf, and dumb not to notice Peter had some earthshattering problem. His car was broken, his house had been rented out so he had no where to live, and the woman he loved, whom he cared more for then his own life, was going to marry another man. Pain, that is all he felt.

Assumpta was in the pub serving drinks. Wasn't she supposed to be happy? She had just gotten engaged. She was going to marry a good man. A man that loved her. Instead, Assumpta just wondered and worried where Peter was. He always comes in the pub this time. She found herself questioning why she even cared but she couldn't stay in denial. What had she gotten herself into. She got engaged to Leo out of anger. Peter had basically said nothing is going to happen between us and she was angry. She had told herself she didn't care about him but now he was all she could think about.

'You alright Assumpta?' Leo asked. She was brought out of her dream state.

'Yeah, fine.' Assumpta then walked into the kitchen. Leo even then found himself wondering about why Assumpta agreed to get engaged. She had just shown up in Dublin saying she wanted to get back what they had in college. Still, Assumpta did not seem the same. She said she wanted to be like in college but she
was not really the same person she was in college. A stray thought then crossed his mind. He remembered when he had come before that something was there she wanted. Something was keeping her there. Then he remembered how he had thought that Peter.....

'No,' Leo said to himself quietly, 'it couldn't be.'

Peter, having no where to stay, went over to the garda station to see if Niamh could give him a room. As he walked there he passed the pub. He immediately recognized Leo's car outside. There was that pain again. He turned away and tried to focus on other things but Peter couldn't help it. This pain consumed him. Assumpta was always at his thoughts. He reached the garda station and Niamh opened the door.

'Peter,' she said.

'Hello Niamh. Can I come in?' he asked.

'Of course,' she answered and they walked down to the kitchen. 'I haven't seen you for a while.'

'No,' Peter said, 'what I really came here to ask is do you have a spare room?'

'What, you mean you can't stay at your house?' Niamh asked then she stopped herself. 'My dad, he's rented it out hasn't he?'

'Well,' Peter said, 'yeah.'

'I'm gonna talk to him. He can't do this. You can't just kick the priest out of his home,' Niamh rambled as she went to the phone to call her father.

'Niamh, wait,' Peter tried to tell her. He had gone to Brian's earlier to figure things out and had discovered Brian was having significant financial dificulties.

'It's been disconnected,' Niamh said, 'You can stay here until we figure something out.'

'Thankyou Niamh,' Peter said, quite relieved.

'What do you think of Assumpta and Leo?' Niamh said somewhat happily. Peter swallowed. The pain rushed through him.

'Nice,' he was able to manage out. 'I've got to go. Thanks again.' Peter did not want to discuss Assumpta with Niamh so he got out of there as soon as possible.

Peter worked on his car all day. It was all he could do to keep him himself busy. He thought of how he felt when he saw Assumpta come in the bar.....with Leo. How all he could feel was pain. How could she do this to him. Then again, he had hurt her too before. When it got dark out Peter decided to go over to Niamh's. He passed the pub and saw all the regulars inside. Peter couldn't go in there. Assumpta was inside.

Peter was consuming her too. She knew something was wrong because he hadn't come by.

'What's wrong,' Leo asked.

'Nothing,' Assumpta answered.

'Ok,' Leo said walking over to serve people.

She scratched her head. Niamh had always told her to find a man that loved her and get married. She was going to do this but it wasn't with the right man that loved her. How do I know he even loves me? Assumpta thought. That made the pain greater for her. The same could go for Peter. He was across the street thinking quite surely that Assumpta had no feelings for him. Peter thought of just leaving. Ballykissangel wasn't the place for him anymore.

'Was it ever?' Peter said to himself, 'I never really fit in.' Peter's anguish was now becoming very apperent.

Peter had just finished dinner with Niamh and Ambrose and was going to go to bed when Brian stormed in the door.

'They've done it. They repossesed the house. I'll have to stay here for a while,' he said. This meant Peter could not stay there. He knew this full well.

'Thanks for the dinner. I'm off,' Peter said. Niamh and Ambrose felt very guilty.

'We're so sorry,' Niamh said.

'It's alright. Go help your father,' Peter said then he left. Niamh knew Peter was going through some sort of tough time and she felt awful. Peter stood at their door and at that exact time Leo drove up, parked his car and went inside Fitzgeralds. Peter watched this from the doorway. He didn't think it was possible for his pain to get worse. Well, he was wrong.

Assumpta heard Leo get in and came down the stairs to say hello.

'I'm back,' Leo said.

'Yeah, only five hours after you said you'd be back,' Assumpta said angrily.

'Ahhh, Assumpta,' Leo said.

'Your room is the first on the right,' Assumpta told Leo.

'Alright,' he answered and Assumpta went up the stairs to her room.

Her thoughts again turned to Peter. They always did. She hadn't heard anything about him. She was worried. She sat in her room staring out the window in dispair.

Down the street Peter was doing the same thing. He had been forced to go stay at the church because he had nowhere to go. He decided to take a walk. He went out and walked down to the bridge and stood in his usual spot staring down at the water.

Assumpta, from her window, was able to see Peter. She was stunned to see him. She immediately got up and decided she had to speak with him. Assumpta threw on some clothes then quietly walked down the stairs and out the door. She walked towards Peter. She felt nervous for some reason.

'Don't you sleep anymore?' Assumpta said a bit sarcastically.

'No,' Peter said quietly.

'Listen, Peter,' Assumpta said about to explain Leo.

'Assumpta, don't! Just don't,' Peter said very unhappily.

Assumpta didn't know what to do. She felt like she was in a hopeless situation. She came and leaned
on the bridge right next to Peter.

'Peter,' Assumpta said softly, 'I don't know what to say.' Peter took a deep breath about to say something. 'You told me that nothing was going to happen. What did you expect after saying that!'

'Assumpta! I just don't know what to say to you anymore,' Peter answered, 'I certainly didn't expect this.'

'Oh, so you just thought I would sit around Ballyk for the rest of my life!' Assumpta said annoyed. Peter couldn't look at her. Both of them were distressed at the fact they were not a just saying how they felt. Instead they had to play this game where they avoided the truth.

'I can't do this anymore Assumpta,' Peter said.

'God Peter! Why can't you just be honest with yourself!' Assumpta yelled.

'Why don't you try that yourself!' Peter yelled back. A light came on from Hendley's. Peter and Assumpta looked at each other and Peter began to walk away.

'Where are you going?' Assumpta said a bit softer.

'I don't really know. I just want to stop creating a disturbance in the street,' Peter answered. With that he quickly walked off across the bridge leaving Assumpta with tears in the corners of her eyes.