I worry myself. Padraig and Brendan wrote a play and cast me as the
female lead. The new man in town, Enda Sullivan from the Dark Rosaleen,
was cast as male. May I just say he has nothing on Peter. Great God! Where
did that come from?!
But, Enda hurt his ankle and couldn't do the play. So, after I blanked
everyone else out, it seemed like Peter would do it.
It was the night of the rehearsal and we had to do the scene where
Matt kisses Mary. We were about to kiss when I panicked. I told everyone
to give us some privacy and they left. So we tried again. We were so close
that our lips were almost touching and Peter pulled back, telling me that
at the back of the hall were Fr Mac, two parish priest and a bishop who
were staying at Fitzgerald's. (don't ask). So, our moment was lost. It
ended up that Enda was able to do the play. One thing that I did notice
during it was that towards the part where I had to kiss him, I saw Peter
walk out. It made me feel something that I haven't felt for a long time.
And it's starting to scare me.
~Peter~
That question 'Why me?' is beginning to take over again. Padraig and
Brendan wrote a good play called 'Ryan's Mother'. The new man in
town, Enda Sullivan from a band called Dark Rosaleen, was to play Assumpta's
on screen man. But, as fate would have it, it seems, Enda was hurt and
of course Assumpta blocked out everyone in the town except me.
So, the night of the rehearsal, we had to kiss. We were about to when
Assumpta stopped and told everyone to give us some privacy. When we tried
again, I caught a glimpse of Fr Mac, two parish priests and the bishop.
So, we parted and Assumpa ran off. Enda regained the use of his ankle and
he did the play. I am ashamed to say that I had to walk out before they
kissed.
I wish everyone would forget about me and Enda having to kiss onstage.
Grr.
Brendan was let go by the school board. Peter and I kept having confrontations
about whose side he was on. Eventually, after our last 'talk', he came
to our protest that we held in front of Fr Mac's house. That was when I
truly admired him. When he does things like that, surprises us all.
Niamh and Ambrose were trying for a baby. That, in itself, was funny
enough. What was even more funny, was Padraig telling it to Peter. But,
Niamh did conceive and Enda played his guitar at the pub.
That was one night that I felt very close to Peter. He was sitting
at the bar and we kept stealing glances at each other, when we thought
the other wasn't looking. We eventually did catch each others eye and quickly
looked away. We were both very self concsious I think. I looked at Niamh
and Ambrose that night, saw them so happy. I saw what I wanted, but with
a man I couldn't have.
~Peter~
Brendan was sacked by the school board. Assumpta and I kept fighting
over whose side I was on. I obviously chose their side. I went to their
protest that they held in front of Fr Mac's house.
Niamh and Ambrose wanted a baby. When they did succeed, Enda Sullivan
played a gig at Fitzgeralds. I think Assumpta and I were like a couple
of teenagers that night. We kept sending glances at each other. I am beginning
to wonder what I really want out of my life. We only get it once and I
want something else. Life is confusing.
Enda asked me out and I said yes. I didn't want to have him as a husband
or anything. It was just friends. I think somehow, that he had other ideas.
His son Feargal is a good kid. He loves his Dad and his dad's babysitter.
I don't like the way that Enda treats his son. I think that he's too interested
in other, uh, pursuits. If I had a child, I would treat him or her very
differently.
I think it surprised Peter that I was dating someone. I don't know
why. He should know that I would refuse to become a nun in any case! But
I got another glimpse that he cares about me. He came into the pub and
took me to one side and asked if I was okay. Sometimes I wonder what would
have happened if we'd met under different circumstances. If things would
have been different what would have happened? I have a feeling it would
have been exactly what's happening now...
~Peter~
Assumpta and Enda went out on date. I don't know why that should bother
me. I mean, Assumpta's a grown woman and she can make her own decisions.
But why do I feel terrible? I admit to being worried about her dating him.
I know that there's something going on between Enda and Aileen and Enda
gives me a bad feeling. I don't want Assumpta to get hurt. What is going
on with me?
Brian was making a movie to promote Ballykissangel. It was rather interesting.
Donal fainted, Ambrose broke it up and Eammon rode a donkey and a tractor
during it. Sometimes I wonder about this town.
Peter had a baby left on his door step. I went over to make sure he
was alright. I pretended that I had been walking Fionn. We spent the night
together watching the baby. It was amazing how at ease Peter was with the
baby. We talked a lot of the night, mainly about children. We got into
a couple of sticky spots, like when we talked about having children. We
were both quiet for a while then, each with our own thoughts. Mine, I am
ashamed to say, was about having children with Peter.
After the baby was taken back, Peter decided to give a sex talk to
the children around Ballyk. He came to the pub and we talked about it.
It was nice to be able to talk to him with no one else around. When the
talk had finished he came and told me that 'our' baby (I will refrain from
telling how that made me feel!) would hopefully go back to its mother.
I was happy and told him that Fr Mac would be really pleased. Then he surprised
me and said I can deal with that. He'll have too. That man constantly surprises
me.
~Peter~
A baby was left on my doorstep and Assumpta came to help me look after
it. That was nice, seeing Assumpta and a baby. She'd make a good mother.
We spent most of the night talking about children. She tactfully left as
soon as Fr Mac was coming.
I decided to do a talk to the kids about responsible relationships.
I went to talk to Assumpta about it. When I arrived, I was the only one
in the pub. I liked having her to myself and being able to talk to her.
Well, the talk was a success and it was hopeful that the baby would
go back to its mother.
I wish that I could have children. And...I wish that...Assumpta would
be the mother...
Niamh told me something that although I revoked, I know that she's right.
She said that I've had hordes of men chasing after me and I've only ever
wanted the ones I can't have. And she is right. I do want the one
I can't have.
Peter came to help me clean up one night. Things started off okay.
I think I began to get a bit tipsy because I asked if he ever wanted what
he couldn't have. He hesitated and then said yeah. I asked him what stopped
him. I think gave him a start. He said that he stopped himself. And then
I asked him what he was afraid of. He knew that was the safest place to
end it so he said he had to say mass at eight. I hadn't want to stay safe
though so I told him to go. That night I finished off the bottle of red
we had been consuming.
The next day he came back and we had another argument. I am so sick
of him talking freely to everyone else, but when we really start talking
he can't even look at me! I can't help it that I've fallen in love! I told
him that until he got his priorities straight he wasn't welcome in my bar.
I felt terrible but I knew that I had to do something to keep me from stopping
and kissing him. (AN: YES PLEASE!!!)
~Peter~
Assumpta and I had another blowup. I helped her clean up one night and
we were drinking a nice bottle of red at the same time. I think she overdid
it a bit because she asked me if I ever wanted what I couldn't have. I
stopped myself from saying that I wanted her and told her yeah. Then she
asked what stopped me. Her meaning was clear. I told her that I stopped
me. Then she asked what I was afraid of. I said something stupid like I
had to say mass at eight. That finished it. She didn't want anymore so
I left.
When I went back the next morning we had another fight. She told me
that I was there for everyone else but when she needed me I ran off. She
was right. I can't help it. Then she told me that I couldn't even look
at her. Again she was right. I couldn't look at her otherwise I would have
lost all sense of willpower. So, she threw me out. Life is so confusing
even without Assumpta Fitzgerald to add to the confusion.
A Ballykissangel Festival. Fair enough. But when a woman that looks
like a supermodel flirts with MY priest. Hang on. Where did that come from?
There was a beauty contest and this woman apparantly was Eammon's niece
until Siobhan did some snooping and came up that Quigley was paying Eammon
to let her stay with him.
Peter came in this morning and went on about enthusiastic volunteers.
I knew it was aimed at me. And it stung. Then when he came past again and
I was struggling with a barrel and he told me I should get some help.
I shot back something about bar staff or therapy. Then he told me he was
trying.
Quigley came in to the pub and insulted Siobhan. Peter and I decided
we wanted to lump him one. It was healed.
Brendan and Siobhan spent the night together. Peter wanted me to talk
to Siobhan. I told him that things might work out between them. He told
me that these kind of things always end up ruining friendships. His meaning
was clear. But I know now that it isn't just friendship between us. It's
love. And it's scaring the hell out of both of us.
~Peter~
I admit that I was cruel to Assumpta, with the remark about enthusiastic
volunteers. However she got her own back with a remark about help being
bar staff or therapy.
Quigley insulted Siobhan to do with the beauty contest. Assumpta and
I decided we should lump him one. Our fight was over.
Brendan and Siobhan spent a night together and I asked Assumpta to
talk to Siobhan. She told me things might work out between them. I told
her that things like this always end up ruining friendships. But what Assumpta
and I have isn't just a friendship. It's something more...
Kathleen really doesn't like me. A fire swept through her house and
she wasn't insured. First I offer to clean her clothes. She tells me to
keep my hands off them. Then when Niamh and I see her off, she tells Niamh
she's a saint. Me! Who was up all night keeping her company, then offer
to help and Niamh's the saint!
We held a poker tournament to raise money for her. A man called Mossy
Phelan came and was a little suggestive to me. Peter asked him how I could
resist. Mr Phelan said that having a priest for a bodyguard beated Madonna
any day. I wonder if Peter's seen that movie.... Then Mr Phelan told me
not to waste my time on priest. That they were all theory and no practice.
I sent him one of my glares.
Siobhan won the poker tournament. After being up all night. Peter had
to wake me up part of the way through it.
That was nice, Peter waking me up.
~Peter~
Kathleen's house was burnt right through. I embarressed myself at the
dog track (don't ask). So we held a poker tournament. One of the men that
was signing up said a few suggestive things to Assumpta so I fixed him
up. That was nice, defending her.
Siobhan won the poker tournament even though I had to wake Assumpta
up, three quarters of the way through it.
I am ready to admit it. Even though I am a priest, celibacy being one
of the rules, I have been tempted and fallen in love with Assumpta Fitzgerald.